rozinante

Yes, brother. It is weird. I still think sometimes what could have been if I didnt give up on her; I mean, I could try convincing her that we really had sort of connection you don't find everyday. I think I got a little irrational fear when she exposed to me her sexual preferences. She was a girl I really adored. Not to mention her stunning beauty. well, it happens sometimes when you think you have something special and real, for a change, and then you discover you were living in a dreamworld.

Hey guys, I couldnt help but searching a little about that disorder and I came across a thing called SAD which is short for "Social Anxiety Disorder". The title is a bit scary, and I'm not 100% sure I have this exact disorder (which seems like having a lot in common with Agrophobia as mentioned by Shadowx above). This site gives you a glance about SAD http://www.factsforhealth.org/socialanxiety.html , and if you're looking for more, googling for it will give you very detailed explanations. Its not so nice to discover that you have this kind of disorder or another, but I think its important not to sweep under the carpet such issues. Im gonna inquire more deeply into it, and I hope its something that can be cured. thanks.

I met her at September of last year, at one of my usual evening strolls around the neighborhood. she was walking her sister's chiwawa. (I usually love dogs, but that breed is not my favorite, to say the least. thats just a side note.)At first glance, she looked much younger than I am (She was 31, I'm 25), I gave her 20 at the top. It was a period not long after my girlfriend, with whom i have been dating for about 4 to 5 months, dropped me like you get rid of a disease, so I was kinda broken (hence those "calm up" strolls i made into a habit, since I tended to get too upset sitting at one place for more than 45 minuets). Anyway, as I approached her, she was smoking a cigarette, and I asked for one (even though i had some right in my pocket). luckily she didnt have anymore, so she has suggested we'd walk together to the nearest newsstand to get some, if it's on my way. I agreed.Funny, I still remember the things we chatted about that evening, and the eves to follow. we both had an unwritten agreement to meet near that bench at around seven pm each evening. it lasted for about 3 months. Occasionally she would ask me to jump over for a coffee at her flat, or that I have invited her. Once in 3 or 4 weeks we were spending the entire weekend together. we became attached. at least I thought so. I knew almost everything about her; her parents, siblings, education and career; The more I knew about her, the more I liked her. And I know she liked me. But what she had done, It strikes me every time I give my mind to it, and Its hard to ignore that particular trauma. maybe I'm too emotional, I dunno. Just see how blind can someone get sometimes. She was so calm when she told me her sister dont want us to meet anymore. I never gave it too much thought, to the fact she and her sister look so different. I believe I tried too mention it to her one time - she said something sort-of to herself and I dropped it. I figured her parents are very different externally and thats all (she shared an apartment with Lucy* and I have never seen her parents). Only then, at that "honorable" occasion' she exposed to me, at the first time, she is lesbian, and she really didnt want to go with me that far "It just something that happend and Lucy thought It won't be so bad to have something external. that is, until she noticed you call too much", so B said. I wont even try to describe what I've been through since then, for Lucy's word is sacred for her, nothing I would say will make her be with me again. Thankfully that episode of my life is history, and all I have to say is watch out kind people, because you can never know with whom you're gonna fall in love. thanks for reading, I hope it was tolerable (english is not my native language, as you can see).*Lucy is not her real name

Thanks for your kind response, brother. Your advice sure sounds practical and helpful ;)I will practice it by going into a public place with a good book. just the right thing to feel comfortable.

It sometimes, more often than not, happens that when I get into a public place, usually new, I start feeling stress and perhaps panic to some measure. Anyone has ever experienced such cases, and if so, is there a good, healthy way to get over it for good?

I usually read about 6-9 books a year.Guy de Maupassant is definitely one of my favorite authors.My all-time favorite book, however, will probably remain Don Quixote de la Manche by Miguel de Cervantes.Though I read it first about 10 years ago, you can still see the influence in my chosen user-name