Im terribly sorry to hear all this. Sounds to me that you have really reflected deaply about this relationship and what happened. Although you know you wont get any answers out of her, there one thing that always cheers me up. You should right a letter. Not just an apology but something similar to the above, tell her how it hurts, how you realize what you were doing and how you felt when she left. Right the letter and dont expect an answer. But if she truely loved you, she will realize that you may be o so different but she is your other half (by the sound of things) and without her your not whole. if she loves you she will respond. Give it time. Keep you friendship open. and maybe fate & destiny will reward ya back.Good Luck PeaceFealty