Man, I feel your pain. And dont think that "Oh he doesnt know what he is talking about, no one can truly feel my pain" When i was 8 years old my mom died in a tornado. I held her shaking hand as she died. I only remember screaming loudly thinking she was just sleeping. But sorry that had to happen to you. I can only imagine what it must have been like seeing him like that. You'll get through it, it time, dont worry.