confused2006

Untill today i thought i loved my partner, but even though in my heart i know i still do my actions dont say the same!last night i kissed someone else!iv been with my partner for years! im only 19 and ppl keep telling me we are 2 young 2 b together, that i am being held back in my life from what i should be doing!! my partner is very controlling and demanding! and very insecure, i just cant look at him after what iv done! we spend everyday 2gether and when we are not together we are on the phone! i know i love him, i love all the little things he does, i know what hes thinking before he even thinks it and he doesnt deserve to be treated like this! dont get me wrong he can be very posessive and nasty at times, he stays out all night, he fights a lot and is even facing prison!! despite his pitafalls i love him! i feel sick when i think of what iv done, AM I A HORRIBLE PERSON??? but i want to know WHY i did this! i feel like my life is in a mess, everythings going wrong! am i too young, what do i want! what should i do. if i told him hed finish me on the spot and i wouldnt let the reason we split be for a meaningless peck, its not fair on us both! i just want to know what to do next! has anyone experienced anything similiar! HELP!!!!