tis great for your first! A tad short though.. and 'she's so fool' makes no sense.. it could be changed to either 'she's a fool' or 'she's so foolish' also.. if your meaning the song to be written in the sense that its referring to something that has already happened you might wanna change 'How do you think that I can guess' to 'How did you think that I could guess'
and you could change 'So next time I see again a thing like this,' to 'so next time I again see a thing like this,' to be grammatically correct.. um.. yeh.. thats about it.. but meh.. its my opinion.. people might see differently
xox Kim