abashful1

Online Relationship Nightmare:I had a close online friend for over 3 years who was like a sister to me. My friend, Suzy, introduced me (online) to a close real life friend of hers named Kallie and it was like we were made for each other. There was a big age difference but as she was over 21 and very mature acting for her age, that eventually didn't matter and we fell in love. Unfortunately in the early part of the relationship I was dealing with caring for a ailing 20 year old cat and also was in a period at work that demanded 70+ hours a week so that coupled with the fact that Kallie lived over 500 miles away, we did not meet immediately. It was 3 months into the relationship before my cat went to her just reward and I finally finished the work project that was taking all my time, but still the meeting would have to wait as Kallie's best friend (and former boyfriend) had terminal cancer and she would not abandon him either. What could I say after all the time caring for my cat? I took her at her word and was as supportive and loving as I could be.As fall edged its way into winter, talk started to turn to us not only meeting, but having a life together. Kallie began pushing for me to take care of things with my home so I could pick up and move. It looks so strange seeing this as I write as even though I was fully caught up in this at the time, but what was I thinking? I hadn't even met the woman yet. I know love is blind and I did have it *bad*, but it wasn't until after the final curtain call that I realized that love can be as sharp as a bowling ball too. But back to my story, I felt overwhelmed with work and trying to rehab my house and looking to see if there was another place I would be happier working. All this change was driving me mad, but I kept it together and kept moving forward.The holidays came and still we had not met. Online chats that lasted the whole evening were common now and we talked about how next year would be our year to be together. In early January, the other shoe dropped. Suzy contacted me to let me know that Kallie had been in a horrible accident. She was in a coma and the close friend that she had been caring for was dead. Apparently the truck she was driving was broadsided by a drunk driver and Kallie & her friend had to be med-evaced to the nearest hospital. I asked where she was so I could go to her, but Suzy wouldn't tell me as Kallie had never told her family about me. It would be too big a shock for them and she would not let me come near them. It was like my world ended and I curled up in a ball for days. Only Suzy and one other friend of Kallie's kept any contact with me and the contact as well as any information started to ebb away. I tried to get them to see my position. If it had been their spouse that was in the hospital and they couldn't see them, how would they deal? Their response was vehement anger and veiled threats about various members of the family that (suddenly and inexplicably) did know about me and wanted to kick my butt for some reason. It was after that when the little wheels in my head *finally* started turning and I realized I was being managed & manipulated. If I wanted to find the truth I was going to have to do it myself.When people are honest with you, it really isn't that hard to find information online. We pretty much have a dozen hits on our daily activities that show up in databases worldwide no matter what we do. That being said and the scope of the accident being considered, it was absolutely shocking that there was no online trail about the accident. Even small town newspapers have online additions including the area that this accident took place, yet there were no hits on any of the news or TV sites there. There were no records at all for Kallie or her dead friend. I knew their names and what college Kallie attended yet there was nothing anywhere. At this point, the only other option was a onsite investigation, but I didn't want to show up in person as just talking about it brought up so much anger. Instead I went to the state board of licensing and found a PI to hire.The PI was supplied every piece of information I had on Kallie, a woman I chatted daily with for almost a year and still found nothing. The PI had her pictures and no one knew her. It was the investigators opinion that Kallie had been a fake identify for some reason, but why? Finally I tried one of the online databases for Suzy and sure enough, there was a person by her name in the town she lived in. I sent the information to the PI and had her check it out. When the PI contacted me again, she had been to the house and it was in fact Suzy, but nothing that Suzy had told me was true except for her name. She did not live on a working farm. She was not the mother of twin toddlers. There were no horses there for Suzy to teach Downs Syndrome children how to ride. Suzy had been living a lie for years online but one has to wonder why she used her real name.When Suzy figured out what the PI was after she started screaming about another man she had an earlier affiliation with that she accused of stalking her. She went wild. Suzy physically attacked the PI. She grabbed the investigator's files and tried to force entry into the PI's car (which is a mystery to everyone as the PI wasn't in the car at the time). She was so crazed that the police had to be called and, much to Suzy's surprise, they were on the PI's side.The PI believes that I never had any contact with anyone other than Suzy the whole time. It was all a game for her and when she tired of it, she put me through hell figuring that I would simply disappear. It's hard for me to imagine Suzy's thought process if that were the case. I couldn't imagine writing off someone you care for when they are hurt and need prayers & support. I can't think of a better way to torture someone as it isn't something you can just walk away from. In any case, it's been 10 months since the PI concluded her investigation and I haven't heard a thing from Suzy, Kallie, or any of their supposed friends. It was a long hard road for me but at least I learned to be more cautious online.