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A Little Advice On Relationships

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Tags: relationship, advice, love


Hello Members, my name is Nilesh Joshi and I am new here in Xisto forums. I am writing an article on love for which I need some help or a little guidance.I personally believe that there is a level of give and take in every relationship. There is always giving and taking going on in any given relationship. While many say that a relationship works purely on the dynamics of GIVE – GIVE where both partners “give”. Some say that Love is actually about TAKE – TAKE where both partners “take” what they need from the other without really giving much. Then there are others who say that a relationship is actually about GIVE – TAKE.What I want to know from members here is what you believe in, how you define the Give – Give, Take – Take & Give – Take. I am confused about what a relationship is all about, is a relationship one of the three types I have written about or is there a completely new type?


You are confusion is quiet understandable since you are living in an age where love is considered almost as a commodity. The days are over when love was considered as the most valued and sacred emotion of the humanity. In the today’s world love is bought and sold as good as a commodity that is being bought and sold in the market. You say - Give - Give - yeah it is possible but it is not love that is taken on its face value by the recipient is accepting it, it is the value of the GIVER that is taken in its face value. You say - TAKE TAKE - yeah it is also possible to go by the TAKE TAKE policy in love affairs. But again, the person taking it is not taking it by its original face value, but the taker would take it and give it a value in accordance with the value of the person from whom it is taken. So you know the case of GIVE - TAKE policy. No need to elaborate it. Ditto.Of course, there are exceptions to it. There are people who still take love by its face value. Ready to sacrifice their lives for it. But they are already in endangered species category.But, mostly if you see, the love affairs of the day do not stand the test of the time. They fail miserably, in the most of the cases, in withstanding the onslaught of the ‘fate’ as it is called famously, within a short span of time. Then the reverse of the love i.e. its alter-ego – hate, wins over it. And when some good thing rots due to any reason, it would emit the most foulest of the smells. Love is no exception. A love affair turned sour is the most dangerous relationship in the world. The relationship may continue till the very last day of the characters involved on this planet. But it would be stark hate that would be the driving force behind such an existence. You would get to see a lot of persons, especially in India leading lives like that. It is out of the consideration of social standing and misplaced pride that such ‘relationships’ last. In the West it won’t last even for a second after the relationship turned sour. However, I would still like to believe or hope that ‘love’ in its true form still exists. One may be able to find it in some remote village where the science and technology along with its alter-egos greed and destruction have not made inroads into it. That is the only place where you may be able to find at least a sign of that fine emotion of humanity called LOVE still alive thriving with all its fine characteristics, as the people living there would be living in total communion with NATURE. NOT like us, the unfortunates on the earth, who are destined to live the lives of MACHINES. Machines have no humane qualities.


Well what I feel about this is that anyone who believes in the GIVE or TAKE or whatever combination, is not in love at all. The mechanism within the body which is responsible for such behaviour has got nothing to do with emotions. It is a calculated venture. Though I do not rule out the fact that it is almost superhuman to nurture love in the absolute form,still, at least some extent of purity should be present. Any love affair cant run on commands,lets consider it to be a process with very little giving or taking yet keeping each other happy.