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My Girl Problem


youngjesusfreak

Hey, i'm 14 and in year 10, and i'm a christian, there's this girl that i like who's 15 and amazingly hot, (she's turning 16 in march) thankfully for me she likes me back, ALOT! She's always telling me she likes me and plays it off by waiting a moment and saying she was just joking. One time she actually whispered "I love you" thinking i wouldn't hear but i was able to read her lips and told her I knew what she said and then she was like "Oh,... I was just joking." I told her she always does that and then she said "I know." Anyways, back to the point, i met her in year 9 when she moved here (grand cayman) from the states, and i started talking with her and getting to know her and eventually asked her out and she said no. I decided to suck it up and be a man about it, and the day after that we started talking again. So on that friday she got her friend to ask me if i liked her, now, my manness declared that since she said no i should stop liking her and just stay friends so you know how the rest goes. I decided to like her again, and on the next monday she came where i usually hang out and sat down and wouldn't talk to me, so my cousin talked to her and found out she was upset that i didn't like her. blah blah blah, now, i asked her out again in september, said she didnt know yet, what i didnt know was that she had a boyfriend at the time who she is still with. I still have feelings for her, but don't want her because of her boyfriend. Sadly, she's a christian and knows she shouldn't be with him as he smokes weed and is a heavy drinker, i can see that he's breaking her heart like a twig and it's killing me to see her upset, I plan on asking her why she's with him and hopefully get her to go out with someone else who actually likes her *remember I don't mean me alone,* and doesn't smoke or drink Honestly, I need everyone's opinions on this.


UND3R

Hey, i'm 14 and in year 10, and i'm a christian, there's this girl that i like who's 15 and amazingly hot, (she's turning 16 in march) thankfully for me she likes me back, ALOT! She's always telling me she likes me and plays it off by waiting a moment and saying she was just joking. One time she actually whispered "I love you" thinking i wouldn't hear but i was able to read her lips and told her I knew what she said and then she was like "Oh,... I was just joking." I told her she always does that and then she said "I know."

 

Anyways, back to the point, i met her in year 9 when she moved here (grand cayman) from the states, and i started talking with her and getting to know her and eventually asked her out and she said no. I decided to suck it up and be a man about it, and the day after that we started talking again. So on that friday she got her friend to ask me if i liked her, now, my manness declared that since she said no i should stop liking her and just stay friends so you know how the rest goes.

 

I decided to like her again, and on the next monday she came where i usually hang out and sat down and wouldn't talk to me, so my cousin talked to her and found out she was upset that i didn't like her. blah blah blah, now, i asked her out again in september, said she didnt know yet, what i didnt know was that she had a boyfriend at the time who she is still with. I still have feelings for her, but don't want her because of her boyfriend.

 

Sadly, she's a christian and knows she shouldn't be with him as he smokes weed and is a heavy drinker, i can see that he's breaking her heart like a twig and it's killing me to see her upset, I plan on asking her why she's with him and hopefully get her to go out with someone else who actually likes her *remember I don't mean me alone,* and doesn't smoke or drink

 

Honestly, I need everyone's opinions on this.

 


Well, just keep trying, I mean eventually she will probably break up with him. I wouldn't want to be with some guy who was always jacked-up on that stuff....no offense. So, just try to comfort her, grow closer to her if you can, have study dates. Just get close enogh that she is wanting to break up with her bf to be with you. So "safe-date" as it is called on Reba (channel 35 on Time warner cable). BY safe-dating I mean, you don't go on 'dates" ever though they are kinda "dates," Also never go out with her alone, always go with friends, or double date! but you two just be friends trying to get to friends to go out! Good luck!

youngjesusfreak

Well, just keep trying, I mean eventually she will probably break up with him. I wouldn't want to be with some guy who was always jacked-up on that stuff....no offense. So, just try to comfort her, grow closer to her if you can, have study dates. Just get close enogh that she is wanting to break up with her bf to be with you. So "safe-date" as it is called on Reba (channel 35 on Time warner cable). BY safe-dating I mean, you don't go on 'dates" ever though they are kinda "dates," Also never go out with her alone, always go with friends, or double date! but you two just be friends trying to get to friends to go out! Good luck!

 


Thanks! I guess I'll keep at it then!

sheepdog

I think UND3R's advice is very good. Hang in there. Be patient and spend time with her as much as you can without being pushy about it. It's ok to say something short like, "I hate to see you wasting your time with that bum" but don't nag about it and don't mention it all the time. Just so she knows without a doubt how you feel, so when she wakes up and sees what a jerk he is, she will remember you told her and she will know she can come to you for comfort/friendship when the inevitable break up occurs. (and please, avoid the "I told you so thing when it happens") But if you nag her about it, she is not going to want to hang around you, so play it cool. Women are actually pretty stupid when it comes to men. (I'm a woman, so it's ok for me to say that.) The more their friends tell them they should give some bum they are dateing the brush off the more likely they are to stay with the slob. Honestly I have no idea why, but that's just the way it works. Good luck!


youngjesusfreak

I think UND3R's advice is very good. Hang in there. Be patient and spend time with her as much as you can without being pushy about it. It's ok to say something short like, "I hate to see you wasting your time with that bum" but don't nag about it and don't mention it all the time. Just so she knows without a doubt how you feel, so when she wakes up and sees what a jerk he is, she will remember you told her and she will know she can come to you for comfort/friendship when the inevitable break up occurs. (and please, avoid the "I told you so thing when it happens") But if you nag her about it, she is not going to want to hang around you, so play it cool. Women are actually pretty stupid when it comes to men. (I'm a woman, so it's ok for me to say that.) The more their friends tell them they should give some bum they are dateing the brush off the more likely they are to stay with the slob. Honestly I have no idea why, but that's just the way it works. Good luck!



Thanks! And yea, I know, the thing that sets her apart from other girls for me is that she's not going to get with a guy for sex *as far as I know* unlike the other "pretty girls" i know of. But i heard she used to be like that and now she probably just doesn't know for sure what to do, but anyways, thanks!

sheepdog

Your quite welcome, and I hope things work out for you. Your young yet, and believe me, figureing out our fellow humans is a long and complicated process. People are very strange. I've studied them for years and honestly I still don't understand what makes so many people tick.


iGuest

First, don't mention religion in a post about dating advice that really has nothing to do with religion. I'm going to be very blunt about this. The girl sounds a bit crazy. She seems like the type of girl who is a major attention seeker. Every girl is at that age, but she seems like the kind to keep it up(just my observation, I might be wrong). Talk to her about the guy and your feelings. Forget being patient and waiting, you need to let her know that you are concerned about this guy and her being with him, you need to make sure you really like this girl as much as you say you do, and if you do, you need to let her know that you like her. Don't wait around for something to happen. Make things happen.



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