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Why Am I Not Good Enough?


Mermaid711

I get it but I don't. Obviously I'm not good enough for a guy who isn't a worthless piece of crap.Every guy I've ever gone out with was nice to me at first but towards the end of the relationship they completely freaked over something small or one of my flaws that I can't help.I don't think I'm just drop dead goregeous, but I don't think I'm hideous either. I have blonde hair, and greenish amber eyes.I'm 5'7 and I weigh 150 pounds. I'm not obese, but not skinny....just average.I'm involved in alot of things at my school. I compete in theatre events, I play tennis, I'm in the colorguard, I'm in the marching band (although I spin flags at football games instead of playing my saxophone), I sing, I dance, and I'm in uper level classes. I'm pretty well rounded because I know my stuff about football and other guy stuff like that. I hang out with friends whenever I can or have time to. I'm not shy, I will tell someone what I think reguardless of the situation or who it is, I like to debate, I'm pretty social, I have a pretty good sense of humour, the only time I'm ever online anymore is when I'm either grounded or at home late at night. I take good care of myself and I excersize ALOT. I also compete in persuasive speaking, oral interp prose, and other oral UIL events. I'm one of the smarter people in my class (GT PRE-AP). I'm not trampy, I don't let guys use me, and I don't party harty. Like I said acting is my greatest pashion, I have won awards for it. I love going and seeing broadway shows, and I love coffee. I dress stylishly, but I do like my gym shorts :)I guess I'm pretty much like any other girl out there. . . I'm not uncool, but I'm not the *BLEEP* popular girl who no one likes. I associate myself with all types of people (with the exception of stupid people and criminals) I'm open minded (for the most part) and I'm not very clingy.What am I doing wrong so I can shange it and make myself more appealing to the guys my age? (I'm 14.)


etycto

i actualy have a good friend of mine that meets your discription of yourself about a good 90% she plays the sax but does winterguard, she's smart, loves to debate, she's also open minded (most of the time too). there's actualy very little differences between you two (acting and excercise being the bigest). anyways what i'm trying to get to is that she's had a boufriend for two years and counting, they're very happy together and it's not one of those shildish relationships a mature relationship. the only thig is there's an age different she's 17 and you say your 14. so i dont think there's anything wrong with you because being that i can "tolerate" to be around my friend i guess i could "tolerate" being around you( maybe even a litle bit more , being that i also do some acting). i say it's not you it's just that you have not found the right guy yet; also most fourteen year old guys are not going to comit much to anything. most likely as you get older you will found the right person for you (dont swet it most 14 year old guys are idiots anyways; you dont need that).


Saint_Michael

I know I am not much on words of wisdom and like I mentioned on MSN, your doing everything right mermaid, your not sticking ot one group of people your very social and participate in many activities both school and non school. You shouldn't be in such a rush to look for a relationship at such a young age and that shouldn't be the number one thing on your priority list. Yes I know the hormones are going wild and you want to start dating, but don't force it or you won't have any fun and so you need to let it happen naturally and you will be able to have a more healthy relationship with someone.


anwiii

don't think about it or try so hard. if the guys aren't interested right now, screw 'm. keep being you...enjoy your friends, and um...take a day out to party hardy


innosia

don't think about it or try so hard. if the guys aren't interested right now, screw 'm. keep being you...enjoy your friends, and um...take a day out to party hardy

at your age 14, you should study hard, have fun well, become a bright person and dont think too much which will harm you

moutonoir

Very few 14 year old guys are going to be interested in a serious relationship. Even those that are...it's tough at that age to know yourself well enough to be able to determine and then communicate exactly what you want and need out of the relationship. Plus, your age is a time of HUGE change. So while he entered the relationship with one mindset, a completely new one could develop as it progresses. And that has nothing to do with you, that's just him growing. Your personality is probably growing and changing as well, so this might increase the differences between you two over time. That's just how it goes.Focus on yourself right now; pursue your interests, begin to find out what you REALLY like, who you want to be, what you want to do, etc. This way, when the right guy does come along, you'll be able to identify better that he IS right for you, which will increase your chances of a successful relationship. And you may not have a truly satisfying one for a long time. That's fine. Just go out there with an open mind, be cautious but not too much, and have fun.


sylent

There are millions of guys out there.Some like skinny girls, or tall girls, or short girls, some even like big bald ones with glasses and no teeth believe it or not.The trick is to not worry about it, and dont rush it.Be yourself, and do what makes you happy and smile, and you'll find the perfect guy for you!If you dont like skydiving, how can you find the right guy skydiving??Thats my opinion!


saitunes

Mine is a very simmilar story, I was that guy that everyone knows, smart, but not too smart. The 'I wish I could find someone like you' guy, except that someone like me wasn't me. You can pretty much count the girlfriends I've had in high school on one hand, and have a thumb and some change left over. When I was 14, I was still coming out of my shell, I was kinda frigid (in other words nervous about being a boyfriend, and not just a friendboy). But I wanted to be that boyfriend with some great girls. I wasn't chasing the girls with the tightest bodies, or the girls with the highest marks. I was chasing the all rounder girls, girls like you. The 'date-worthy' girls. Ones that haven't got a new boyfriend every 6 months, the ones that aren't just hips, boobs and butt. The kind of girl who is the right girl for alot of guys, they just don't know it yet. You mermaid, are just like me, you should have every guy (me being a guy it would be girls) throwing themselves at you, but our kind are hardly ever seen like that. Long story short I'm now in a long term relationship with a great girl first year out of high school, Which I kinda expected looking at my older friends that were in a simmilar boat to us. When you meet the right person/s it will all happen for you. You don't need a boyfriend to have fun. I mean for a long time there I was under the impression I didn't need a girlfriend to enjoy life and I didn't. I had heaps of fun, just not worrying about girls too much, I did like alot of them though, hardly any of which liked me back, but that's a fact of life. When it happens it will happen. You will know. It might be next week, next year or after high school. But until it happens, don't fret birth rates are exactly 1:1, so there is someone for everyone, as my senior math teacher told us. Hang in there you'll meet a great guy who is crazy about you, and you'll be crazy about him. If its anything like my story you might already know each other, if you like someone tell them, don't keep it a secret. That's how you miss opportunities.


iGuest

you're 14? honestly, I would just let time heal your problems. I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend, or anything close to that. I let just that itself let get me down every single day and I know I shouldn't but it's inevitable. I know exactly where you're coming from when you say "not being good enough"- but I have learned through countless hours of tears and thoughts that everyone is good enough, it just takes one special person to proove that to them.

Good luck. You're not alone.


Ousk

Wow you just worry to much for your age. But usually smart people tend to do that Anyway it's good that you have a busy life, good for you.To answer your question, well boys at that age really don't want a long relationship they just wanna have fun so maybe you scare them off a little because you are to smart and to well grounded for them. Just relax, your way to young for this types of troubles.


Tramposch

You are YOUNG! Don't worry about that stuff. I am 16 and have had 2 girlfriends. I don't really care for relationships. At this point in my life, it isn't worth it. If I find somebody that I really love and would like to spend the rest of my life with, I might explore, but that hasn't happened so far. At 14 just worry about school mainly. Honestly, I would have relationships in the back of your mind. You can do other things, and then if something happens, go for it. Don't go seeking, just let it come to you. That has always worked for me (yes, I have had 2 girlfriends, but quite a few hookups). I don't understand why people think they need to be in a relationship when they are young...It doesn't work out 90% of the time. Out of everybody I know, there are one or two that actually are in love, and one of them is probably going to get married to his girlfriend. But they are also 18.


Echo_of_thunder

You are YOUNG! Don't worry about that stuff. I am 16 and have had 2 girlfriends. I don't really care for relationships. At this point in my life, it isn't worth it. If I find somebody that I really love and would like to spend the rest of my life with, I might explore, but that hasn't happened so far. At 14 just worry about school mainly. Honestly, I would have relationships in the back of your mind. You can do other things, and then if something happens, go for it. Don't go seeking, just let it come to you. That has always worked for me (yes, I have had 2 girlfriends, but quite a few hookups). I don't understand why people think they need to be in a relationship when they are young...It doesn't work out 90% of the time. Out of everybody I know, there are one or two that actually are in love, and one of them is probably going to get married to his girlfriend. But they are also 18.

I agree very much. don't worry. I know at that age a lot matters. I am 47 and I have learned what really matters is how you feel about yourself and not what other's think. as Tramp said

at 14 just worry about school mainly

that's is what is important. a love life will come later. so just be yourself and not worry of what people think. It is YOU that matters.

Tramposch

In addition to what I said earlier and what echo said, keep in mind that school sets you up for the rest of your life. If you push it off now for relationships, you might regret it in the end. Excel in your studies and go from there. That way you can have a good job doing something you like, then focus on finding somebody you like.


rpgsearcherz

Yeah, I agree with most of what the others said. Don't worry about it. There is someone out there for everyone, .Just give it time, don't rush it, and understand that you don't have to have someone to be happy. That is what gets a lot of people into relationships that are abusive or otherwise negative. Understand that you can go along by yourself, and that having someone else isn't a necessity, it's just something that you want.Not to mention you're from Texas...I am too. If I were a girl I wouldn't date any guys that live here,lol. Find someone out of the state!


novic_1223

hmmmm. i can agree with the previous post "most boys just want to have fun at that age"but to answer your question, it may be that you are trying to hard.for example, people that laugh for every single joke is very annoying...dont do it!. keep calm cool and collected, only put an imput when it is wanted or it is something that it interstingfor exampleif everyone is talking and you are talking a lot but no one is listening to you then only add comments when you know you have seomthnig really good to say because then your words will have more meaning. this may help you to get noticed in a better way instead of goofing yourfel and simply embarassing urself completely. try a smart approuch towards every situation. i hope this helps


rpgsearcherz

hmmmm. i can agree with the previous post "most boys just want to have fun at that age"but to answer your question, it may be that you are trying to hard.for example, people that laugh for every single joke is very annoying...dont do it!. keep calm cool and collected, only put an imput when it is wanted or it is something that it intersting

for example
if everyone is talking and you are talking a lot but no one is listening to you then only add comments when you know you have seomthnig really good to say because then your words will have more meaning. this may help you to get noticed in a better way instead of goofing yourfel and simply embarassing urself completely. try a smart approuch towards every situation. i hope this helps


I agree to this to a point, but always be yourself.

No matter what happens, in the future your true personality will come out. Don't let it be overshadowed by something(somebody) that you're not.

You should not care what people think about you. Those who like you do, those who don't don't. Those who dislike you would not like you anyways, so there is no reason to worry about it.

But as you go through life you will learn that on your own.

Up through elementary school most people are not self-conscious.
Middle school/first part of high school they are
End of high school/on they are not again.

You just start to learn that people will treat you one way or the other no matter how you act, so it is not worth trying to be anything you aren't. You will end up losing yourself that way, as well as losing friends. The true friends, or "true love" are those who love you/befriended you knowing who you are and what you are like. Those are the people who will be with you until the end.

Anyone who wants to dispute that fact really needs to sit back and take a look at life. Every successful person(business wise) has followed that principle. Bill Gates was made fun of constantly for his idea of the PC. He lost friends because of it, as well. But he never let his morale be hit. And now look where he is. No matter what people thought of him, he kept his own ideas and never fell into the "I want to be socially accepted" trap.

That is the single most important thing.


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