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Problem With My Girlfriend Family, Need Suggestions For Action Problem with my girlfriend family, need suggestions for action


melbourneboy

It's been nearly 3 months that I am in abroad for my future study. Many things happened in these 3 months back in my home country. I had a girl friend and both of our parents know that we are seeing and dating each other and want to tie knot in near future. We desperately love each other. Everything is going right but problem began when one guy who have very good relationship with both of our family told something bad about my family to her parents. When I was in my country, I was always busy talking with my girlfriend and my father didn't like this . I used to ignore him when I am talking with her. Once I had a big fight with my dad on this issue. As my dad is very high temperment , he felt that I am giving so much priority to my girlfriend instead of him. So, he told the guy (who knows both the family well) that her mom is not good, it is her policy to trap my son, etc etc and he doesnot want to forward this relationship. He told all these in anger and my dad is like that. Bad tempered. And this guy told all these things to her parents that my dad is telling such such things. So, her parents got angry and our relationship started to fade away. Initially I had very good relationship with her family and her parents had no objection and very happy to marry her to me.As I was abroad, I didn't know about all these things. I thought everything is going smoothly. And again that guy did one more bad thing. Sometime my parents use to quarrel and there is some distribunce going on in my family. Every family has some. Isn't it? The guy knows all these things and he told all these things to her mom that my family is not good etc etc. At now she doesnot want to tie knot her daughter to me. Her mom also told my girlfriend not to contact me and break the relationship with me permanently. She loves her parents more than me (it seems ), so she told me not to wait for me, I can get many good girls than her. I felt she is scared,so, she is telling like this. I convinced her that I can convince her parents and you don't worry. I felt that I should make a call to her mom and solve this problem but for that I have to defense my dad and family . It might not work. So, I planned it is better to talk with her parents directly when I will be back to my country. So, I leave this problem for time. I never bothered about all these things as she loves me very much and she is with me. But it seems that the problem is very serious back within her family that she is continuesly insisting me to forget her as she do not find any hope in our future relationship. I feel her love for me is slowly decreasing now-a-days and she is trying to ignore me slowly as she hadn't thought such problem will arise. Now, her parents had started to see another guy for her to tie knot .So, what should I do now ? I am planning to have a talk with her mom and try to convince her that she should give me a chance to explain. Till then can she wait for me? Is it good or something else should I do? What is all you guys suggestion in this kind of problem. Seriously I do not want to loose her. Unfortunately I also cannot go back to my country and solve this problem. So, any good advice or suggestions?


shadowx

hum.. When will you next be home? If its soon, eg within a few weeks or a month or so, then phone your girl and tell her you will back shortly and you would like to go around her house and speak to her parents. If you wont be home for some time then phone her and get her to put her mum/dad on the phone.When you speak to them explain that you love their daughter and would like a future with her, that youre not like some other guys that want a quick relationship, you want to live with this girl and one day marry her. Ask them why they dont like this idea. And dont try to defend your family instead just explain that your dad has a short temper and thinks he knows best but doesnt, tell them that you are making the decisions here and your dad isnt (as it seems its your dad thats causing the issues) explain that because your parents have issues that you want to be better than them, you want a better relationship and truly care for their daughter. Take their comments on board and if you can afford it, when you get home take your girlfriend and her parents out to dinner, you pay of course and show you can take care of their daughter and talk about the future. Hopefully they will see you as responsible and good for their daughter and accept you


bittr

I never bothered about all these things as she loves me very much and she is with me. But it seems that the problem is very serious back within her family that she is continuesly insisting me to forget her as she do not find any hope in our future relationship. I feel her love for me is slowly decreasing now-a-days and she is trying to ignore me slowly as she hadn't thought such problem will arise. Now, her parents had started to see another guy for her to tie knot .

 

So, what should I do now ? I am planning to have a talk with her mom and try to convince her that she should give me a chance to explain. Till then can she wait for me? Is it good or something else should I do? What is all you guys suggestion in this kind of problem. Seriously I do not want to loose her. Unfortunately I also cannot go back to my country and solve this problem. So, any good advice or suggestions?


Her parents had started to see another guy for her to tie knot?

 

Just to understand the situation better, where are you from?

Because advice strongly depends on which are the customs for marriage and relationships in your country.


iGuest

Same problem but with a hypothetical solution

Problem With My Girlfriend Family, Need Suggestions For Action

 

Replying to melbourneboy

 

Hye buddy, really bad to hear abt your incident. Chilup, this is lyf. Even I have the same problem, excludin the family politics, my gf dad is not ready for relation,.. But I believe in one thing, IF MY GIRLFRIEND REALLY LOVE ME AND HAS A COMMITTMENT TOWARD ME THEN SHE WOULD PROBABLY WAIT FOR ME. Rest all depends on the situation. And how can a single man cause a huge problem for you buddy, I suggest you to talk to that boy, your dad and girls family. I knw its realy hard to get on.. But start forgetting her, tats the only thing you can probably do, if in case she is back, hurray!, otherwise , life goes on...

 

-reply by vicky


melbourneboy

Her parents had started to see another guy for her to tie knot?

 

Just to understand the situation better, where are you from?

Because advice strongly depends on which are the customs for marriage and relationships in your country.


Thank Shadowx for your valuable suggestions.

 

Bittr,

Her parents had not started to see another guy to tie knot for her but it is in the process. They are planning to do that.

I am Hindu and I am from Asian Contry.


sylent

Thank Shadowx for your valuable suggestions.
Bittr,
Her parents had not started to see another guy to tie knot for her but it is in the process. They are planning to do that.
I am Hindu and I am from Asian Contry.


Regardless of how, you need to talk to them and be very honest with her parents.
If you cant do so in person, then yes by all means call them and explain to them how you feel, but you can only apologize for your father.

From what I understand in your traditions, and I may be wrong, the parents do most of the choosing, or at least have a very heavy say in who will be married to whom, and the best thing you can do is to respect not only her family, but yours as well.

If you blame your father it wont look good for you either, her father will see that as a sign of disrespect also, that you are going against his will.
So just make a quick apology for what ever he said and concentrate on convincing her parents that you really care for her, and you are away at school right now to better prepare for a life of dedication to her, and a shared life.
Apologize for not being able to sit with them face to face to resolve the issue, and be open about how you feel toward their daughter.

Respect, respect, respect!

Best of luck to you!

veesyn

Hmmm... dude.. frankly speaking mine is on the same kinda story..we were in love and brokeup.. it even dint go till parents,, she used to tell me her parents are not gonna accept.. and i told her i shall talk to them.. i look smart, earning good enough in the US,,, and wat else does a gal or her parents need,nice guy(i feel like) ... but she finally left, she told me she needs a breakup, and reason she gives all the time is her parents are not gonna say yes.... after all the pain/torture i had... now i feel like... if she is the one who was here on the earth for me.. she would have been mine by now.. time heals all wounds.... a gal who has either much attachment with thr family OR if she is afraid of thr family OR someother reason who is concerned about her family... will never come ... hell lot of story about me.. coming to you.. seems like even u go talk to ur/thr parents and convince them and marry i dont think no one is gonna be happy.. you will have a feeling tat you hurt your parents and she will have the same....and tat too you are too far and you cant go now ... hmmm... i better suggest u to go have some beer and if you trust in god.. go to him and say take care of the gal and just dont look back... u dont need to worry about her if she will forget you r not... dont worry about that... a gal will easily forget her love in just one year some say this as a curse to a gal and some say its a gift to a gal... i knew it would be hard for you... but time heals all wounds.. thr is good enuf world waiting for you .. go for it.. dont look back.am suggesting this way bcox she is asking you to forget you... but if she cant live without you she will do watever she can for you.... i mean she will even be ready to hurt her whole family , her family i mean her father and mother who brought her up for 20+yrs who had so many hopes on her.... would you like to give the same pain to thr/ur parents who love thr kids so much... are u that kind of person.. think about it.. .. finally i knew its hard... but thr is good enuf world waiting for you... think about it.. time heals all wounds... beer/pubs/places circulate urself... you will soon forget her probably you will find an other one who can make you forget your past OR may be the new one is your gal.. think about it.. hope you will get out of it soon... and be the same real guy who you were earlier .. good luck dude.


fermin25

I am radical ok. I am not going to give you a cursi advise because I hate the cursi things. I have to say you that you have to separate from your girlfriend temporally, of course, until all the troubles be superated. Its sad nowaday to see all the happy couples that are obligated to separate because their parents are not agree. I am agree when a father oppose to his daugther start a relationship with a lazy or a criminal but you said that you are a student and you study in other country. So you are not a bad man so my advice is that. Take it or let it. But one thing is true you can let that these "family problems" hurt your emotional strength because if you allow it, all the world around you will start to fall in front of you. Don?t allow that another person decide your future or cause you more troubles in the future. Sometimes GOD send to his sons proofs like this, maybe if you get separate from your girlfriend the happiness will be bigger in the future. I don?t know but only you have the answer, not your parents or her parents. Take this advice and you will see the results. Please don?t let this to the destiny because that doesn?t exist. Take the destiny in your hands and build it day to day. And that guy who is causing all the problems maybe is fall in love with your girlfriend, dont?t allow he will be close to her. I am not saying that you have to hit him, no. Simply keep him away from your girlfriend before all this problem start to be a "three" problem where everybody lose something at the end. Take the advice and pay attention to this unfortunated situation that you are living because this is a proof for the trouble that you will securely have in the future.Don?t abandon your girlfriend but give her some space ok.



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