Lol! this is funnay

[jwcgator 0]

You Know You Are Addicted to the Internet When...

# You actually wore a blue ribbon to protest the Communications Decency Act.

# You kiss your girlfriend's home page.

# Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.

# Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.

# You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search.

# You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines.

# You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a cellular modem and a laptop.

# You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.

# All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: 28.8...ISDN...cable modem...T1...T3.

# And even your night dreams are in HTML.

# You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com

# You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

# You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

# You start introducing yourself as "Jim at I-I-Net dot net dot com

# Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never had heart problems before.

# You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue when it happened.

# You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.

# Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.

# All of your friends have an @ in their names.

# When looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.

# Your dog has its own home page.

# You've already visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway through Lycos. or [C]ontinue?

# You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.

# You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have no idea where your children are.

# You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

# You refer to your age as 3.x.

# You have comandeered your teenager's phone line for the net and even his friends know not to call on his line anymore.

# Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.

# Even though you died last week, you've managed to retain OPS on your favorite IRC channel.

# You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.

# You don't know the sex of three of your closest friends, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.

# You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom.

# You laugh at people with 2400 baud modems.

# Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months.

# You miss more than five meals a week downloading the latest games from Apogee.t, or [C]ontinue?

# You start looking for hot HTML addresses in public restrooms.

# You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

# You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.

# You tell the cab driver you live at http://forums.xisto.com/no_longer_exists/

# You actually try that 123.elm.street address.

# You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.

# Your friends no longer send you e-mail...they just log on to your IRC channel.

# You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.

# Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."

# You are so familiar with the WWW that you find the search engines useless.

# You get a tatoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape 1.1 or higher."

# You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP...because you never log off.

# The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg.

# You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.

# You forget what year it is.

# You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

# You ask your doctor to implant a gig in your brain.

# You leave the modem speaker on after connecting because you think it sounds like the ocean wind...the perfect soundtrack for "surfing the net".

# You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call 200 hours per month "unlimited."

# You turn on your computer and turn off your wife.

# Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.

# As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.

 

EDIT: hehe more

 

 

You Know You're Addicted to AIM When...

Three words: Carpal tunnel syndrome

 

You no longer type with proper punctuation, capitalization, or complete sentences...

 

You're pissed off your buddy list can only hold 200 screen names

 

You begin to say hehehe instead of laughing

 

You can now type over 70 wpm

 

You type messages to people who are right next to you or on the phone with you.

 

You won't work at a company that blocks AIM

 

You sign on and immediately get 10 messages from other people

 

You have a few screen names, some of them secret.

 

You type in random screen names, just to see if anyone has them.

 

Your screenname has the year 2002 or earlier in it.

 

You know what %n means

 

You don't break for the bathroom - even though you've got to go real bad - until you think of a witty away message.

 

You check the away messages of your buddies, every day, to make sure they haven't changed.

 

You have a few people on your buddy list just to spy on them.

 

You've had a meaningful conversation with a bot.

 

You learned Photoshop to make a super cool buddy icon

 

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to AIM.

 

And these go PERFECT for this website

 

You Know You're Addicted to Coding When...

Triple espresso's start tasting bland

 

You have nightmares about COBOL and ADA.

 

You have good dreams about multiple inheritance, factories, and compilers that support partial template specialization.

 

Instead of using MS Word, you type your essay for school in HTML using NotePad.

 

School? What's that?

 

You can multiply a 32 bit binary number by a 6 digit hexadecimal number in your head.

 

You laugh at movies that show programmers at work.

 

You walk outside and wonder why the sun doesn't make a lens-flare in your eye....

 

You get withdrawal symptoms if you're away from a computer for more than 3 hours

 

(Lines_of_Code) / (Hours_of_Sleep) < (Number_of_Energy_Drinks_Consumed)

 

Every time you look at your clock, you see a power of 2 (6:40, 1:28, 2:56, 5:12, 10:24)

 

You're pressing CTRL+S every 5 minutes, in every application..

 

You end each line you type with ";", even plain english ones;

 

You code your own support software for the digital camera you just bought

 

When your significant other mentions having kids you lecture her on the disadvantages of multiple inheritance.

 

MSVC opens on startup.

 

Whenever somebody asks you to do something, you try to think of a way to write a program that would help you.

 

You have 2 bookshelves filled with programming books in your room... because the 5 shelves in the living room are full.

 

You know the following sequence by heart: 1 2 4 8 16 32 64 128 256 512 1024 2048 4096 8192 16384 32768 65536 131072

 

You read The Tao of Programming...and relate.

 

You need an intercom for downstairs to tell your parents / girlfriend / wife / whatever to get you more JOLT.

 

When you take a break from programming, and program.

 

When you can say with a great level of confidance that you have written more lines of code than english.

 

You wake up in the middle of the night with the solution to your coding problem.

 

Your 4 year old son has seen you login and out of Windows and Linux so much that he can do it himself.

 

You are the only one who knows what the difference is between a coder and a programmer.

 

You have more groceries inside your keyboard than in your fridge.

 

You have a toothbrush next to your monitor.

 

You watch a tv sitcom and think "I could write an algorithm that writes the scripts for these things"

 

You sit stuck at traffic lights and work out a more efficient algorithm for them, based on road orientation, sensor placement, time of year, time of day, weather and local sporting events, in your head.

 

The people you respect most you have never physically seen or spoken to, but you always bow to their knowledge.

 

Your family informs you than you should go and make some more friends ...so you start coding AI routines.

 

You consider 'drinking caffeine' and 'sleeping' to be synonyms.

 

You can write 'Pong' in any language for any OS (or even NO OS) in under 4 minutes.

 

You get drunk\high\otherwise intoxicated just for a different coding experience.

 

You think of sex as an algorithm.

 

Sunshine genuinely hurts your eyes.

 

You actually feel like crap from getting 8 hours of sleep, that just so unnatural

 

You can't help but squeeze math and research topics in while sweet-talking to a girl.

 

You have a "hacker's manicure" (i.e. huge calluses on all your fingers)

 

When you die you want "Hello world" carved into your headstone

 

You keep old computers around and boot them up every once in awhile for the nostalgia.

 

You would like to have an Aibo to see if you can run Linux on it.

 

Your mother phoned you to see if you were still alive, and you responded "ping".

 

You look at your old code and cringe

 

You got a D in Computer Programming class because you where coding a plasma effect instead of a "Hello World!" program

 

You read books on quantum physics and time-travel to relax.

 

When someone asks you your favorite color, you give the RGB code in binary.

 

No one else can ever use your computer, as it is tweaked so much only you know how to use it.

 

The first time you use another person's computer it takes you less than 30 seconds to completely disable all useless programs from running at boot and uninstalling all the ad-ware the fools had on the system.

 

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to coding.

[ChronicLoser 0]

lol, i heard the first one before, but all the others are new to me =P awesome post jwcgator! Love reading these kinda jokes lol. It's freakishly hilarious ^_^where did you find these anyways?

[chalesrising 0]

Ok, in all honesty many of those made me laugh in real life... Which is something very, VERY few text things can do...I must show those to my friends ... To msn I go!

[whafizi 0]

hey, stop spamming! your post seemed to be copied from somewhere

i cought you red handed! ;
http://forums.xisto.com/no_longer_exists/
http://forums.xisto.com/no_longer_exists/
http://www.blogthings.com/topics/addiction

you know, if you really want to show our friends something like this, you should just post the link, not copy the whole text. this kind of act is considered spamming.

*ps: it's not really hard to tell if somebody copied something and paste it here

[NilsC 0]

What's funnY about this? Isn't this the way everyone is?

 

Here is a real life joke: I was reading your post and go to reply and I get a 404 message. I look in the "living room" to see what's up and my son had shut the catalyst off. He assumed I was in bed because it was so quiet... did I blow up... I didn't but I told him that if I didn't shut the thing off to leave it because I maybe running something...

 

Duh, it's past midnight and I'm back at this by 6am what was that about 8 hours of sleep. sleep is a waste of good time...

 

Nils

I think the post was verry funny, problem is it hit to close to home