Pinoy Samurai

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An emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new chief samurai warrior. Only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese, and a Pinoy samurai. "Demonstrate your skills," commanded the emperor. The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box, and released a fly. He drew his sword and-swish!-the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two. The Chinese samurai smiled, then opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his sword. Swish! Swish! The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered. The Pinoy samurai stepped forward, released the fly, and drew his sword. SWOOOOOOOSH! The speed of his sword created a gust of wind. The fly let out a high-pitched sound, but continued to fly around. "What kind of skill is that?" asked the emperor. "The fly isn't even dead." "Anak ng…," replied the Pinoy samurai. "Dead is easy. Now, circumcision...that takes skill!"

[abusado1405241472 0]

A woman was walking through the woods when she came across a rusty old lamp. The woman, being so curious, immediately picked it up and rubbed it. Then suddenly a genie appeared saying he would grant the lady three wishes. The catch was, for every wish, her husband would get the same 10 times over. The woman said, "For my first wish, I want to be the most beautiful woman in the world." The genie warned her, "Your husband will be the most handsome man in the world and women will flock to him." The woman replied, "That's okay, I trust my husband." So, poof!-she became the most beautiful woman in the world. After that, the woman said, "For my second wish, I want to be the richest woman in the world." The genie said, "That will make your husband 10 times richer than you." "That's okay, we will share our money," said the woman. Poof!-she became the richest woman in the world. The genie then inquired about her last wish. The woman said, "Hmm… I'd like a mild heart attack."