Recently Jealous Of Boyfriend And His Girl Bestfriend, Help! Is He Cheating?

[sandman24 0]

Hey,

 

So my boyfriend has a had this best friend for less than a year who is a girl. Me and him went out for about 5 months before we broke up and they became best friends, and now we are going out again and have been for around 3 months. The problem is that recently I've really started to become jealous of them. I'm not a jealous person, and I don't mind when he hangs out with any other girl at all, its just her that irks me.

 

She basically looks like me as well, except she is more popular. His sister told me that she used to sleep over at his house and come out wearing his shirt but when I asked him whether they had ever slept together (when we weren't dating), he said that that was just the way they were and no way had they slept together.

She has a very upbeat personality (a lot of people find her too intense) and I can understand that she would always be calling him and talking to him and that would be none of his doing.

 

But recently, he told me that he was really struggling with work and that he hardly even had time to see me any more, he was quite upset, and i told him that we could see each other less if he needed more 'me time' because usually I like to see him at least once in the week and once on the weekend. I'm not a demanding girlfriend, I don't ask him to call me all the time or see me everyday or anything like that but he still felt this way. Then a week later he is getting coffee with her, and seeing her on the weekends and not inviting me to come out. Then I start seeing photos of them taking 'selfies' together, and tagged in pictures at a party, it's like he sees her more than he does me.

I think he stays at her house sometimes as well (and doesn't tell me), and I'm really not comfortable with that but can't say anything since he's never outright said that he has.

 

He also used to post all this stuff on her facebook (when we weren't going out) like 'I loooove you! <3' and 'call me asap' and '<3' quite a lot, which he never has done for me. (He has told me he loves me though, in person and somtimes text). It's gotten to the point where when she comments a '<3' or 'you're so amazing!!' on his photos I get so jealous that I've started to actually hate her, and have become really anxious about whether he'd rather be with her.

 

Is it possible that either she doesn't like me (so tells him not to invite me when she's there) or that he just enjoys hanging out with her more than me? Is he cheating on me? I feel like I'm competing with this girl for his attention and that most of the time she is winning. That fact that she looks like me means that he's probably attracted to her... I'm so confused!

 

I really don't know what to do,

any advice would be awesome.

Edited May 11, 2012 by velma (see edit history)

[udayvedanthuman 0]

That guy is cheating you...that is simple. Don't lose your trust on yourself? You are fine. That girl is a wrong one, don't compare yourself with that wrong girl and degrade yourself. You are absolutely perfect, but the question is you love that guy and you were involved with him...convincing that guy doesn't make any sense. It is difficult to detach with someone, if you are strongly connected too. If you don't mind I can give you only suggestion, that he is not fit for you...give yourself some time. You deserve a better person. So wait for sometime.

[sandman24 0]

I don't think they've done anything pyshical though, is it still cheating?

[udayvedanthuman 0]

If you don't mind I will say my opinion. If I am in love, then for me that girl will be the most important one in this whole world. My world will revolve around this girl and I really will not entertain anyone else. Your boyfriend don't have time to take care of...he is entertaining someone else. You are waiting for a time, when they will get physical and you will get the prove for it and then you will react to him. What is the guarantee that they have not been physical? Is your boyfriend speaking the truth? The only thing I can say you are badly in love with your guy and you don't want to lose him for anyone. Fine so it be...I believe there is only two things. Either you are wrong or right. You know that someone is wrong, but due to your emotional part, you are not able to take a decision. I understand it very well. Give yourself sometime, but I can say that he is taking advantage of your innocence.

[sandman24 0]

you're probably right.. I really don't want to lose him though.. maybe I should just ask him to choose between us and see what happens.thanks for your advice

[sheepdog 10]

Hummmm...he can find time for her but not you? Seriously, why do you not want to lose him? Does he make you feel special? Does he let you know how much he cares about you and respects your feelings? I think not. Some things just don't work out. This sounds like one of those times. Move on to someone who cares about you.

[jlhaslip 4]

We need a "Like" button on here because those are some good replies right there.

[rpgsearcherz 5]

Hummmm...he can find time for her but not you? Seriously, why do you not want to lose him? Does he make you feel special? Does he let you know how much he cares about you and respects your feelings? I think not.
Some things just don't work out. This sounds like one of those times. Move on to someone who cares about you.

This. I think too many people get hung up on relationshiops that just aren't going to go anywhere, when it'd be best to just drop it and move on. People are constantly being taken advantage of those they "love" because the other person doesn't feel the same way and uses them.