Need Some Very Key Advice

[derkski 0]

Hi,I could use many opinions and advice on this scenario. I met this girl I was flirting with at the start. I had one of my girl buddies their and my girl buddy talked with this one girl I was flirting with. After that day past on I asked that girl what she said to her and what they talked about if it was about me or not. Well I find out from her that it was and sometimes they talked about other stuff. Anyways, she always wanted to be near me. If we were playign cards or so she would be next to me. She always would smile and be happy when she was talking to me. She later asked for my phone. I gave her my phone and she put her phone number in my contacts. She tried making it not too obvious by taking a bit longer trying to go thru all my stuff. The following day I added her on facebook. Once she confirmed it she messaged me to text and was so enthusiastic about it. Well I didn't have texting, so we had to talk on facebook. We talked for 3 hours the first time. Then after that we talked some days 6 7 hours or 3 hours. I was just literally on facebook all afternoon. I know this girl for about a month in a half. The first 3 week we talked a lot of facebook and on the phone. Talking on facebook she would some times ask me I'm suprised you don't have a girlfriend your so sweet and nice. She told me later that she likes me. I knew that this girl liked from the sentence previous, since she said that to me right away. The following week I was busy, so we didn't talk at all. I tried calling and got nothing if I messaged her on facebook I would sometimes get a response. This had be thinking is she still interested in me or not since shes not responding and if she did it seemed like she didn't want to talk to me? I guess that's why you can't have a successful relationship online. I would text in her class sometimes using my friends phone. I also tried not calling her for a few days to see if I would get a message or call from her, and this would show me if she is interested. Well she messages my friend since he had texting, but they rarely talk together. She wanted to know if I was mad at her since I didn't call or do anything. After that on Friday night classes we would see each other and she would be all happy to see me and we talked. We hung out once in that past month in a half. I was lucky enough to pull this hang out. She had to stay home and watch her brother since her parents had a party. Her mom trusted me and didn't care if I came over which I found out from the chick. Before this happened I had to keep forcing it to happen. Like she said we would hang out next week. I would say I'm going to be busy next week. It eventually worked and then I stopped by and I brought her and her bro some food since she was hungry. After that night turned out to be fun. Ever since I tried to hang out with her she's been busy and if she's not she's hanging out with her friends. I ask her like almost ever week and I don't get no hang out. Like I said she is a nice person, but sometimes when I talk to her online seems like I'm annoying her or bugging her. She also has that personality that she won't tell you to leave her alone or bother her. Sometimes it takes her a while to respond to my messages like I'll have to wait like 10 minutes or more. I don't want to stick up for her right now since I do know shes got a crap load of friends and I don't know if shes talking to them at the same time I'm talking to her which makes it a longer wait to get my messages responded to sometimes and their short sometimes as well. She also says that she has problem's with her phone which happens frequently. Sometimes at church she will approach my sister and ask where am I and they will talk a little bit. I am 3 years older then her btw. Now were still talking and stuff,but its just not the same as what it started off to be. I know this is pretty long and maybe could write a book about, but I only added in the stuff that I felt be important to give out the clues. If I have forgot any more details or so I'll add them in later, but this is everything I remember off the top of my head. My main questions to you is do you think she is still interested in me? What do you think I should do to show her I'm willing to make this happen? Do you think she has likes for someone else? Do you think this can work out. Please give me your feedback and advice. Also what do you think about all this. Thanks

Edited June 6, 2011 by derkski (see edit history)

[derkski 0]

Can I get some feedback please

[missy2205 0]

hey buddy,it seems you have gone in to a lot of work and effort to make this girl like you the way you like her. You have done everythign right and been a gentle mean about everything and all the manners you have shown are exceptional. I know I would like to meet a guy thats like you. You have a soft spot and you are not afriad or too proud to show someone you care. Obviously when you ask people about her they usually being girls we will pass the info to the person that hey that guy was asking about you which means he really likes you and the facvt that you akll get to spend like literally all afternoon chatting on Facebook is so cute I think its really a special thing you got going there. you are conmfortable with each other and its a great basis for a friendship. You carry on like that and the two of you will be best buddies for a long time to come. You are very understanding and caring and you are like the brother a girl never had. I can see the two of you coming home late at night from a girls night out or drag dance and you and her *BLEEP*ing about her husband or boyfriend being too busy with work and forgetting to take care of her needs and her crying on your shoulder because hes cheated....again. I can see her coming to your arms for safety and a get away when the men in her life let her down and you will be the perfect grntleman and friend she needs, Sorry to say this and I dont mean to offend or insult anyone but you are like a Gay friend. Shocked - dont be. Look at the course your friendship took. She had the hotts for you and you were just a conversation buddy and were called cute or something like sweet and nice. WARNING LIGHTS there bro. you see the words sweet and nice are to discribe girly stuff or men who are very in touch with their feminine side. As a man you shouldnt take pride in a girl you like or who likes you in that way start thinking of you as cute or too sweet cause theres a very fine line between being a potential future boyfriend and the point you start being like a brother I never had. See at first this girls says I wonder why you dont have a girlfriend cause your soo sweet etc. Well guess what!! Now she knows why its because you are to feminine during the courting stages. Have you ever noticed something strange about us girls. We want a sweet guy who is emotional and tender (but only in a perfect fantasy). In real life we go for the guy whose totally male the guy that other girls want. We want to be like a prize not a just a freebie. By that i mean normally we all see guys and fancy the pants off them. but if I had you for a guy I just met and you start spending 6 hours chatting to me on FB even though Im begging you to stay online for another hour or half hour everytime you say I gotta go. if you stay online you show yourself as a weakling. if a girl likes you already then you're the one in control. Make sure she's craving for you like salt. You want it soo much when its not there but hate it if you get too much of it. You need to back down and stop being mr sweet and just be a guy. Remember to ask your self this would you really want something that everyone else doesnt want? Yes you probably would cause you are sweet hehehe but come one if you had two party invites from two friends who you liked equally and the parties were same time only thing is one was lots of people and was fun and the other party was playing same music but just a couple of people where would you be temped to go. if they were playing the same music at both venues. Obviously you'd wanna go were everyone else wants to be. Its common sense. Now realise I didnt ask were you'd end up because i know things like sympathy may come into play. Right now I just want to put a point across. So we'll ignore eventualities.All im saying is right now you are as good as any guy out there but the difference is your party has no one you market yourself as good music party but when a girl realises that this party is just good music but no crowd interest shes ditching you and goign somewhere more popular. I know you thinking but I can change me I am who I am and I say yes your are right you are who you are. You probably will find a girl (similar to the eople who will go to the empty party out of sympathy or alliance and loyalty. You will find a girl who likes you for you and sees the heart and sould of you and likes you for you but it may be a while and a whole lot of similar posts to this from you before you meet Miss sweet and nice who is your perfect match. I'm not askign you to change yourself, no i would never do that cause once you do that you are living a lie and not being you. All im saying is coke and pepsi are very similar but they are maketed as if they are very different. Im not going to go into silly squabbles about how coke is sweeter or less fizzy or pepsi uses corn syrup and pepsi uses honey syrup. Im just generalising here that while those two products look very similar they are appreciated differently In United Kingdom Coke and Pepsi are treated as the same thing no one cares what they get. they are equal competitors, In Africa due to the massive coke advertising, People are so fussy about coke they so coke branded they literally call every bottled drink a coke and if you drink pepsi then pfffffff. (before I get carried away by calling every fizzy drink a coca cola i mean this. Will say do you want me to buy you a coke with your hot dog? you'll answer yes and they will say which coke do you want Coke Coke or Fanta or Sprite or Pepsi.) I bet in the states they have had such advertising that branded Pepsi the virtual winner of the Coke war lol. All Im sayin is dont change yourself but change how girls percieve you. Change the image girls have of you when they think of you. Right now they think of you as a sweet and cute guy basically thats like a gay best friend or a cool brother from another mother. You need to stop sending 6 hours with a chick on Facebook. What are you all talking about that takes 6 hours daily wow. You were on a high speed train ride headed for disaster.Take a few pointers froma girl who has met a lot of guys who had such potential but messed it up. 1. Make yourself desireable. In any relationship you can give everything alll at once. THink of a girl you meet her and its all fireworks you really like each other and you get talking exchange numbers and still on the first day you kiss her and touch her intimately and she gives you the keys to the city and you bang her. THen she wants to see you again and again and the same happens you go all the way everytime. Now tell me this - Would you take her seriously after that or would you just think what a slag? - Well by spending too much time online while getting to know each other you came across as someone who gives too much in too little time. And no wonder why she is avoiding you. She needs a break.2. Make yourself unattainable. Have you ever wondered why cars that are made in Limited editions are sooop much more expensive than mass produced cars. Have you seen how their owns treat them with care and pride and value them, Well become a limited edition male. Dont be too available to her. ^ freaking hours or 3 a day is too much for a girl who fancies you to bits. Boy, you need to make sure shes chasing you and wondering why you cant see the same light she sees you. (obviously you would see her in the same light as in you fancy her too but dont make it obvious.) You wana see her online and ignore her let her say hi first. hahaha I bet you gonna sit there starring at the screen waiting and frustrating why she aint spoken to you first. Actually thats better cause at least shes chasing you. And when she says hi dont just jump give it a minute then respond talk for ten minutes then say to her brb (be right back) or g2g (got to go) that way she thinks maybe hes talking to other chicks and by human nature she'll wana be the one you shut off other people for for. She'll wanna be the priority not be told g2g or brb while you chat up some other chicks. By wanting to be priority she will spend more time wanting your attentiion and this means shes thinking bout you. 3. Be an elstic band / a mirror. Learn to reflect or bounce off comments. While thje statement i think you are sweet i cant believe you dont have a girlfriend sounds like a complement, its is an underhanded diss (negetive comment). Basically it becaomes a curse after a while that constantly tells the girl that you not in demand so why should i chase him. You should deflect such comments by saying something cocky like heheh I aint got not girl cause Im not gonna just take every girl who throws herself at me. I want someone special not an easy lay. if an easy lay was what I wanted i'd have that in a flash. She'll be like yeah whatever but deep down you have neutralised that negetive comment. Make her think shes slightly more special than others hence the reason you give her time to chat but she needs to know there is competition so if she wants to be in the playing field she needs to be competitive. Ofcourse in reality there may be no competition but theres nothin like a girl wanting to win you as the ultimate prize and be the alph female. Just the say as boys who come up to me and chat me up only to give more attention to my friend and make me feel jealous and get all competitive with my girlfriend. Lol It happenes and i have fallen for it a few times. They know that by paying more attention to her it makes me statrt wanting to negotiate things with them if i was being all high and mighty. No one wants to be rejected for another. I dont know if reight now you are way beyond the repair this friendship line but I sy quit asking bout her and next time you see her with a female frined at church and you go over for a chat be nice to her and greet her but pay so much more attention and flirt with the friend and laff at her friends jokes more than hers. Then when you say bye just say bye with nice smile to her and an even bigger smile to the friend and say hope to see you again next week. And if she she asks you what was that about ? just laugh it off and be like I dont know what you on about. I js spoke to you and her equally and then say anyway how have you been. While shes typing just type sorry I gotta go see a buddy or dinner or whatever so you live her hanging wanting to say stuff but unable to. THat way you are showing herthat you are not sweet and cute. Just show her you are nice but not a gay best friend. Remember shes male you are female so dont forget to throw in naughty hints like telling her u like the way her boobs look hot on the latest picture shes uploaded or that her skirt was so short she's actaully tempting you... it doesnt have to be raw and cringy but inuendos and euphenisms here and there to remind her you are opposite sexes and that you want more than just 6 hours facebook. You should lead the way things go. Make crude jokkes like why would your parents trust me to come over to yours when they not there. DOnt they realise when I wanna go down to second base with their daughter. If i was your dad I would never let me anyway near your place. lol Thats showing her you find her attractive and you want things that arent just friendship. Remeber that when she calls you over you can sometimes say I gotta call up and try to cancel this thing i had arranged for this weekend. If she bails out on you cause of it. then dont worry take one for the team. Because shes gonna be wondering what the thing was anyway meaning shes thinking bout you. The more thinking the more she wants you lol.Anyway I think thats enough hints right there. Biggest hint being stop being a girly girl ooops I mean girly man cause you aint gonna get nowhere being sweet and cudly like a teddy bear. Be a strong man whom a girl wants to be with and let others be your wingman. You rather be the heartbreaking bastard that she goes to her gay best friend crying about than the gay best friend unless you are indeed gay and her best frined. That way you wont hurt that the girl you want doesnt want you back. Unless your bestfriends Husband is the man you want???

[derkski 0]

I don’t spend 6 hours each day I’m just saying I had a day or two were I talked to her for that amount of time. I usually will talk with her few hours not long. Anyways she likes me a lot. My friend and I hanged out with her recently and ever since my friend has talked to her a bit and pulled out key information and she told him straight out she likes me. Also I talked to this one girl and found out later that it was her cousin. This girl was falling for me and then later the question approached me how do you know this and this girl. Later they both talked together and she called me told me whole scenario. She told me I almost could have started a family feud between them and I didn’t. Her cousin exchanged some feelings with her and recently she would text me and talk to me. I also just came back from my vacation and when I was leaving that morning she texted me saying "heyy, I hope you have fun on vacation<3 ill miss you!" I look at this as her actually being interested in me especially the way she has been acting towards me lately. I’ll see how long it will go on for, but it seems like she now realizes that if she’s not going to feel the same way towards me that I will try to find other fish. I appreciate your comment and it was some good advice missy2205. It helped me see what you were saying. I will keep you updated how this will work out. Thank you once again and if anyone has any other suggestion I’m listening.

Edited June 19, 2011 by derkski (see edit history)