What Is Staring? How To Avoid Staring At People? I am a 24 year old guy. I feel people get offended when i look at them

[iGuest 3]

I am a 24 year old guy. I feel people get offended when i look at them. All i want to do is look at people and observe them,i have no bad intentions. But if i look at a person for 2-3 seconds they are looking back at me very angrily.Then i feel guilt that whether i stared at them,thats why they are looking back angrily at me. I have lost self confidence to go to public places like banks,hospitals,etc. Even when i am riding my bike i feel all the people are looking at me only. So have stopped riding bike also unless it is very very important. Recently a lady who stays near my house was coming opposite to me on the road, i just looked at her. From then onwards she refers to me as dog whenever she sees me and she is doing character assasination saying to everyone near my house that i made a stared at her. I feel totally helpless and now a days stay indoor all the time and avoid looking at people even for 1-2 seconds and put my head down while walking and sitting. please kindly tell me what is staring? how many seconds can we look at people before being perceived as rude? how to avoid staring at people but look at them. Is it alright if we look at a womans body instead of her face because i never look at a womans body in public. I always look only at their faces.please help me.......

[anwiii 17]

that's what peripheral vision is for bud. i have never EVER been accused of staring or had any bad looks when i look at people. but then again, i don't act creepy when i look at people either.i suggest that when you look at someone and you don't know them that well, then look away the instant they see you looking at them and then use your peripheral vision from then on. you don't want to go back staring at them because that's just creepy.we live in a world where trust is a big thing. staring at someone for whatever reason does not build that trust. in fact, it hinders it and you will get a standoffish attitude in return.....or sometime worse in your case.i am a people watcher by nature. i am more introvert than extrovert only because i love people watching. i can get to know people better by just watching them than talking to them. but even though i am a people watcher, i have NEVER been accused in staring....ever in my life. in fact, just the opposite, people accuse me of not looking at them when i really do after a conversation is struck and they mention it. they only bring it up because i give them a standofish feeling which makes me less approachable which i could care less. if it's meant to be, they will approach me, or i will approach them.anyway, give my ideo a little test for a month. only look at people through peripheral vision. don't stare at them and don't move your eye towards them. do this for a month and you can post about how i changed you life hahahaand don't let this hinder you from riding your bike or from going outside. although you can't change the first impression you already made on people, if you think people are staring at you, it's probably mostly in your head being overly self conscience. and by riding your bike, i am assuming you have a normal way of riding it and not riding a tricycle for that matter....or falling off your bike or doing anything that is drawing attention to you. i am betting most of it is in your head....when can you stare or look at someone for more than 2 seconds? when you are having a conversation with them, but don't have a conversation while you are always looking at the person. glance away once in a while because even when you are in a conversation, staring can be creepy too :)so when you are walking along, and someone is walking in the opposite direction, to overcome the awkwardness if you stared too long for more than two seconds, acknowledge that person by nodding your head a little or saying hello and for god sakes, stop staring after that too :)good luck!

[MayukhDebnath 1]

that's what peripheral vision is for bud. i have never EVER been accused of staring or had any bad looks when i look at people. but then again, i don't act creepy when i look at people either.
i suggest that when you look at someone and you don't know them that well, then look away the instant they see you looking at them and then use your peripheral vision from then on. you don't want to go back staring at them because that's just creepy.

we live in a world where trust is a big thing. staring at someone for whatever reason does not build that trust. in fact, it hinders it and you will get a standoffish attitude in return.....or sometime worse in your case.

i am a people watcher by nature. i am more introvert than extrovert only because i love people watching. i can get to know people better by just watching them than talking to them. but even though i am a people watcher, i have NEVER been accused in staring....ever in my life. in fact, just the opposite, people accuse me of not looking at them when i really do after a conversation is struck and they mention it. they only bring it up because i give them a standofish feeling which makes me less approachable which i could care less. if it's meant to be, they will approach me, or i will approach them.

anyway, give my ideo a little test for a month. only look at people through peripheral vision. don't stare at them and don't move your eye towards them. do this for a month and you can post about how i changed you life hahaha

and don't let this hinder you from riding your bike or from going outside. although you can't change the first impression you already made on people, if you think people are staring at you, it's probably mostly in your head being overly self conscience. and by riding your bike, i am assuming you have a normal way of riding it and not riding a tricycle for that matter....or falling off your bike or doing anything that is drawing attention to you. i am betting most of it is in your head....

when can you stare or look at someone for more than 2 seconds? when you are having a conversation with them, but don't have a conversation while you are always looking at the person. glance away once in a while because even when you are in a conversation, staring can be creepy too

so when you are walking along, and someone is walking in the opposite direction, to overcome the awkwardness if you stared too long for more than two seconds, acknowledge that person by nodding your head a little or saying hello and for god sakes, stop staring after that too

good luck!

Regarding this post, anwiii, you have typed everything in small letters and there is no capital letters as normal sentences should be. I hope this is perfectly okay with the forum.

It's a good solution to look at people through peripheral vision, as said by anwiii. But then from what I read from the main post is that, the so-called suffering man must have something to do with his attitude and it's not just the look that he gives to the others. If you look at the gorilla at the zoo and he stares at you, you feel frightened that it might attack you. On the other hand you look at the Peacock and it runs away from you. In both the cases you might be looking with amazement, and surprise but two different characters react in two different ways. But what seems from the reaction of the suffering man is this that everyone he looks at, they reacts to him badly. Looking at one person at one go for two minutes may be stareing, but for another person looking for more than five minutes non-stop may not feel like stareing. What I'm trying to say is what and how you look at the person is important.

When you meet a person that you know and smile at that person, even if you do not greet, the person smiles back. However if you're just looking at the person and you do not react with a smile or a gesture, the person feels offended and that's where your look becomes unhealthy stare. Also your self-esteem plays an important part how your face looks like when you stare at another person. If you are morally down, or mentally upset, your face will not reflect a good welcome gesture, your smile will not be pleasant, and as a result you look will be treated as harsh.

Sometimes you walk straight into the person but you're too busy thinking about something while you look straight down the street towards that person, and it seems to that person that you are staring without any reason and did not respond or respect in terms of gesture or greetings and therefore your behaviour looks odd.

I am very surprised to know that while you are driving a bike, you feel that all people around you are looking at you. Why don't you wear a helmet with glasses while you drive a bike, which prevents other from seeing you at the same time allows you to see them without they not knowing what you are thinking of or looking at.

So in my opinion, carrying a smiley face is the most easiest way to get a positive and cordial reaction from all the people around you. Small gestures and greetings always minimises the risk of any adverse comment or thought. However this always does not work if there's a lady opposite of you. You need to be more careful that you do not show your teeth always. Only when you're too close that you make any gesture. From a distance, it is better and advisable to keep your face at least 30° away from straight face to face direction. One of my friend who also studied psychology told me once that woman are very unpredictable and thus meet them in a group whenever possible. Looking at their body is always a no-no. Just roll your eyes from left to right and reverse. And whenever you are in a group just keep looking towards the next persons one by one as soon as possible and repeat your looks with a smile and of course nod your head in case the other person is speaking. I am no expert but I think a smile can melt any heart and hence your looks will not be treated that bad.

[anwiii 17]

Regarding this post, anwiii, you have typed everything in small letters and there is no capital letters as normal sentences should be. I hope this is perfectly okay with the forum.

i don't know. read my 2,500+ posts on this forum and decide for yourself haha

anyway, i do like your approach to the op's concern that it could be HOW you look at someone that could very well be the problem. this can definately be one of the reasons he is getting a negative response. i doubt it in this case though because he didn't go in to any detail how other people view him.

for instance, i am known to be the quiet guy that never smiles. i enter a room, i am acting naturally. i am quiet, and i am not smiling unless there is something to smile about. this look i have tends to make people think i am stuck up or unwilling to talk or approach others and it leaves a negative first impression in other peoples heads about me and it leaves them not wanting anything to do with me. why do i know this? because i have been told by my friends and complete strangers this. i will walk in to a group envoronment and people i walk by will automatically tell me to smile or tell me to smile more.

BUT! even though i am the way i am, and even though i do stare sometimes, nobody has EVER mentioned how they are turned off by me staring or even looking at them. this suggests to me that it is not really how you look or stare, it's how long you stare.

also, some people just look naturally creepy to me. i can be looking at someone while they don't notice, and i am thinking that this guy has the look of a seriel killer. the guy isn't looking at me or staring at me at all and i still have that first impression. which leads me to my next point....

maybe this guy just gives off a wrong first impression, and when he realizes it, he shy's away too fast before people can actually get to know him. maybe it's this, maybe he stares too long, or maybe it's a combination of both things. sounds to me it's a combination of both things because he stated how he feels uncomfortable even going outside anymore....even just to ride his bike because now he's self conscious that every is looking at HIM when the original issue was him looking at other people.

i don't think comparing this guy to how a gorrilla looks like when locked up in a cage for almost all his life is a good comparison though. also, i disagree that looking at a person's body is a big no no. i have many male friends who stare at a female body and they don't get all that much criticism. so i think it is mainly how he is looking at people specifically. he already stated he only looks at their faces anyways.

to be a good judge, i would have to see a photo of this guy to see if i can offer any better suggestions than i already have. like i said. some people just have that face that makes people suspicious. it's like how people judge women who are walking down the street with a short mini skirt and a skimpy top, or how people will judge a man walking down the street who is big and muscular, wearing no shirt and lots of tatoos. people will make first impressions of someone's every day appearance. so this could be the case too. who knows. i would like to see a picture to judge for myself though haha....

[iGuest 3]

hi my name is William EVANS I'M 21 YEARS OLD CAN YOU GIVE ME SOME SUGGESTING IDEAS FOR NOT STARING AT PEOPLE AT CHURCH

I am a 24 year old guy. I feel people get offended when i look at them. All i want to do is look at people and observe them,i have no bad intentions. But if i look at a person for 2-3 seconds they are looking back at me very angrily.Then i feel guilt that whether i stared at them,thats why they are looking back angrily at me. I have lost self confidence to go to public places like banks,hospitals,etc. Even when i am riding my bike i feel all the people are looking at me only. So have stopped riding bike also unless it is very very important. Recently a lady who stays near my house was coming opposite to me on the road, i just looked at her. From then onwards she refers to me as dog whenever she sees me and she is doing character assasination saying to everyone near my house that i made a stared at her. I feel totally helpless and now a days stay indoor all the time and avoid looking at people even for 1-2 seconds and put my head down while walking and sitting. please kindly tell me what is staring? how many seconds can we look at people before being perceived as rude? how to avoid staring at people but look at them. Is it alright if we look at a womans body instead of her face because i never look at a womans body in public. I always look only at their faces.please help me.......