Jump to content
xisto Community
shadowx

Writing Help Speech within a story and grammar.

Recommended Posts

This was the most suitable place i could think of posting, it's not perfect but anyway....In a story how are we supposed to write a segment of speech?Particularly concerning the grammar at the end of the speech for example:"Yes," Bob answered. "These are indeed the freshest grapes around!"."Uhhu?" Alice was sceptical. "Then why is this one brown?""Erm....It's a Spanish brown grape, I've sold the rest already!" Bob hesitantly replied.Now, i know each character's speech gets given a new line/paragraph like i have done but i am unsure of how to end the first two lines. Do i end the speech with a full stop regardless as i have done in the first line evne though the speech itself is terminated with an exclamation mark. or do i leave it as i have done with the second line?(This is just an example by the way, not a real story. That would've been very dull...)I think i need to terminate the line with a full stop regardless but microsoft word disagrees (when doesnt it... Stupid American bastardization of English.)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't know if this might be helpful to you or not. I use WordPress editor to write articles. There is a button called "Proofread Writing" in the editor toolbox. The button has abc with a check mark below it. I think I enabled it by going to Users > Your profile. There are a bunch of check boxes relating to various grammatical error detection tool. We can enable all of them. hmm wait... Here is a link, explaining those check boxes. It might help, especially because you are using Microsoft word.

Well you are on track, good luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you're dialoging an incomplete sentence (that reaches completion after a break), you don't begin the second half as its own sentence. Here are the appropriate corrections to your examples:

Incorrect: "Yes," Bob answered. "These are indeed the freshest grapes around!".
Correct: "Yes," Bob answered, "these are indeed the freshest grapes around!"

(Note: There's no period after the ending quotation mark in the correct example. Also, it's not recommended to use exclamation points for long sentences, as this isn't natural in true speech. Bob would need a lot of breath to be able to yell "Yes, these are indeed the freshest grapes around", and it wouldn't sound natural at all. In native speech, you tend to yell short phrases, not long ones.)

Incorrect: "Uhhu?" Alice was sceptical. "Then why is this one brown?"
Correct: "Uhh," Alice said, skeptically, "then why is this one brown?"

(Note: You follow or interject dialog with the appropriate speech verbs. You can "say" words, but you cannot "was skeptical" words. Another example would be to say: "That's right," Tim nodded. Tim cannot "nod" words. He can say words -and- nod, but "nodding" words is incorrect.)

Incorrect: "Erm....It's a Spanish brown grape, I've sold the rest already!" Bob hesitantly replied.
Correct: "Erm, it's a Spanish brown grape; I've sold the rest already!" Bob replied.

(Note: An ellipsis [three dots] is used to signify speech that trails off but does not pick up again. There is an ellipsis with a fourth dot, but it's not widely used, and when it is used it's to represent that the omission included a complete sentence, not just a sentence fragment [Chicago Manual of Style]. Secondly, in your example you have two complete thoughts: Bob describing the grape and Bob stating that the rest were sold. In this context [where it's likely that they're closely related], you can join the two thoughts with a semicolon, but not a comma. You could also just make them two independent sentences, since they're both complete on their own.)

Hope that helps, and let me know if you need further clarification.

This was the most suitable place i could think of posting, it's not perfect but anyway....
In a story how are we supposed to write a segment of speech?

Particularly concerning the grammar at the end of the speech for example:

"Yes," Bob answered. "These are indeed the freshest grapes around!".
"Uhhu?" Alice was sceptical. "Then why is this one brown?"
"Erm....It's a Spanish brown grape, I've sold the rest already!" Bob hesitantly replied.


Now, i know each character's speech gets given a new line/paragraph like i have done but i am unsure of how to end the first two lines. Do i end the speech with a full stop regardless as i have done in the first line evne though the speech itself is terminated with an exclamation mark. or do i leave it as i have done with the second line?

(This is just an example by the way, not a real story. That would've been very dull...)

I think i need to terminate the line with a full stop regardless but microsoft word disagrees (when doesnt it... Stupid American bastardization of English.)


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's brilliant cheers.I hate to use "Said" in any way in dialogue so i do sometimes use things like "Yes." Bob nodded on the premise that the reader understands that anything within quotes is spoken by the character and so i dont need to tell them that he said it. instead i can refer to the character so they can see that it is bob that said this, not alice or anyone else, and then add a natural type of gesture or expression to the words rather than: Bob said, nodding. But i suppose it doesnt sound too bad, but:"Yes." Bob said.Is just a true horror... Especially when you have alice and clare all talking too you just getBob saidClare saidAlice saidSaidSaidARGH!!Is it grammatically incorrect to use things like"Of course!" Bob chuckled.Or just somewhat frowned upon?I dont really expect i will ever finish this little story, i tend to write the fun parts and then get bored and it just sites there on my hard drive for eternity. I have 3 or 4 unfinished stories. So really it doesnt matter too much as it will only be me reading it (except i wont read it because i wrote it and I'll get bored, like reading a story then turning the book voer and starting again) but it's useful to know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi.It is grammatically incorrect to do so (e.g., "Yes," Bob nodded -- Bob cannot "nod" words), but it's still a common practice. I don't personally frown upon it, so long as everything reads well. The problem arises when you have characters "saying" things different ways without any consistency, or if you use words that trample the fluency of what you're writing (e.g., "Yes!" Bob triumphantly projected). Most authors recommend simply using "said" due to the fact that the average reader's mind skims over it more naturally than any other expression, therefore making the experience more like true dialogue.Hope that clarifies.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

But, Bob can nod "yes" as in, "yes," Bob uttered while nodding his head.Writing can be simple and complex. Since writing is to achieve visual representation it's better to elaborate than simply imply--although "read between the lines" have been much practiced by many writers. I was always told that I didn't have enough adjectives and descriptives in my writings. And to write something that others can enjoy sometimes requires writing to anticipated readers' style. I never forgot about this quote my English teacher once said, "news papers are written at the reading level of 7th grader, so that more people can read the paper."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's the thing, when i read a book im not aware of all the "He said" type stuff, just the dialogue itself, im not even aware of the words most of the time, just a movie in my mind, it's hard to explain but i can see the story, and feel it and not actually see the words on the page. That's what im trying to achieve here.I think im fairly good with description but it's hard to tell as the writer as you already have the preconceived ideas in your head, you can already see the character before you even describe them so you know what they look like but the reader can only go on what you provide them. It's not easy but sometimes it just flows (it could be garbage but meh, i enjoy writing it!) I used to write poetry back in the "dark days" but now the pain is gone so is the poetic flair, mostly anyway. There's also the balance between realism of characters and what people expect from them. I mean in the Harry Potter books these 12 year old kids simply run when faced with life threatening danger of a three headed dog and follow an evil teacher into an unknown dungeon when in reality you would freeze from fear and then never go back again! But as a character it wouldnt work if they were all cowards.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Guidelines | We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.