What Do You Think Of This?

[boy-thoj 0]

I"m a college student and I always hang out with the same people. And everyone in that group know everyone, but there's secrets that other don't know. =/My friend guy he's dating one of our friend girl. And like I said there's secret hidden from each other so I didn't know those two were dating until last week. At first I thought they really loved each other, but now that I know him and his relationship with her better I say that he doesn't like her at all.He told me that she said she like him, and he told her he like her back because she like her. Weird I know. And after I told with him, he said that for him love is sex. And I know for a fact that the girl that he is dating doesn't want to have sex yet but she like him.Not long ago I got him to tell me this "I love her because of sex. If she doesn't like sex, I can make her like it. But if she really don't want to have sex, then I don't love her because love is sex. So no sex no love." something like that.I tried to explain him what love is to the eyes of girls, (in case you don't know i'm a guy lol) and I also think the same way about love as the girls do and I have no idea why. I tried to tell him, but he didn't care.Now, she said she doesn't want to be with him because of what he think love is. I told her I'll try to help her and make him change about what love is, and that love isn't always about sex but still doesn't care. I told him she really like him, but because of the way he think of love she doesn't want to be with him anymore. I said to him that he needed to change his view on what love is but he really isn't listenning to me and only think that love is sex and that's it.I tried to help her to change him and his view of what love is. But I guess I was powerless on it. I'm not a really close friend of her but she's the closest friend of the girl I like. =/ So I wanted to help her since she like him but nothing really seems to work. And tomorrow they gonna break up (Friday sometime when they'll meet). I told him to break up with her because of him not wanted to try to see our point of view on what love is. And that way he won't hurt her so much too. When I told him that he said "But I like her" ahahah I don't even know why he say that and I said to him he never really like her.Anyhow.. I still want to try to change his mind of what love is. And he doesn't even try romance to get the girl too lol.. what you think would be a good idea? Or should I just let it be (as him thinking his own way of what love is)?And also, what do you think love is?

Edited October 19, 2007 by boy-thoj (see edit history)

[rayzoredge 2]

One of the hardest things you can do is to change someone's mind.But it is possible.The best thing that I can think of is to actually sit down with him and talk with him, mano-a-mano. Highlight what it really is, the pros and cons, the problem with how his way of thinking could eventually hurt someone and even himself (emotionally), etc. It's a whole new ballgame when you've actually accomplished having both of you down for a talk... but I'm sure the words will come to you once you both are ready to discuss it.I can give you a picture of what I believe love is... although at the same time, this definition may or may not set me up for failure through expectation :Love is a compromise. Love is an infatuation with someone, a want to care for a person, a want to BE with that person, a want to share life with that person. Love is happiness with another person. Love is trust.In a relationship, it's inevitable that arguments and conflicts happen. But love is supposed to maintain. The feeling of love should keep two people together, not the fact that they feel like they HAVE to be together.Sex is an intimate experience you share with a partner. It is NOT what society makes it out to be today... and I want to destroy any bit of misconception that exists, but sadly, most of the world believe everything on the idiot box. Thank you MTV, VH1, artists that have promiscuous themes for their songs, and all you retards that spread the word that getting laid is "the thing to do."Ultimately, if you love someone, you will want to be with that person and love them for who they are. I'm not saying that looks are out the window... we are born and raised in a society where appearance does matter a little bit (unless you are completely not shallow... which deserves major kudos), but that takes a backseat to personality. If you don't love someone for who they are, you shouldn't be with them at all, as friends, as lovers, or even as acquaintances.