Relationship Advise Needed Can Someone Please Help Me With This :(

[T84 0]

For all of you who have read my topics i deeply thank you..... and i need your advice once more. Im sure you are getting annoyed with all the topics im posting but im really confused and emotional right now....I have no clue what to do!Here is total and complete story sumed up from the begining. There is a kid in my school named Anthony, he is a soccer player and doesn't have many(if any) freinds because of his last girl friend who was basicly "the school ****" (no offense intended to her), but he is just as bad, he will go to incredible lengths for sex. When i atteneded one of the soccer practices he waled up to me and my friends and said "wtf is wrong with you guys, you all have long hair or a face full of zits." Which i took offense to obviously. Now I met this girl this year and at first she really annoyed me and we didn't talk at all, we basicly had a mutual dislike for each other. Then this summer i decided to give her a chance to be my freind, over the summer she dated my freind for 2 weeks then broke up with him which caused like a shock wave in our group and started numerous fights. During these fights i played the middle man and tried to solve them the best i could. I started talking to her alot like every night for hours but if my best friend sal would sign on she would basicly ditch our conversation for theirs. That was the case untill one day i could tell something was really bothering her and i asked her what was wrong...and she said her parents are fighting and her grandma is close to passing away...she told me that is why she is trying to get a boyfreind so bad, so she has a shoulder to cry on, she also mentioned that the only reason she talks to her X-Boyfreind is because they had a good relationship and he would be there for her. Then i said "I may not be your boyfriend and i may never be as close to you has he was but im here for you whenever you need me." and she said "You may not be my boyfriend but i love you."(I still dont know how to interpret that..as real love? or as a metafore) Now that school has begun, she is in 2 of my classes and volunteered to carry my books while my arm is healing. About 2 weeks ago i found out she liked the same Anthony i just mentioned, to make matters worse yesterday i found out that he likes her. Now all they do is talk and in my 2nd period they talk and talk and talk . She doesn't really talk to me anymore and doesn't wanna hang out or anything. Im really depressed that i dont talk to her much even in school, and i have no idea on what to do or how to tell her that i love her and i scared that he might get he drunk or something because he is like that.... Can someone please help me!!!!

Notice from jlhaslip:

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[tuddy 0]

It's one of those "Is she really your 'true' friend or not?" cases. You need to step out side your own box and think about her, what would make her happy now and in the future. You have to be careful in what you say. You come across too harsh, she'll dislike you, If you say it the right way she may see it as helping.If you think this Anthony guy will just use and hurt her, then you as friend have a right to tell her that which comes back to my original point. Is she really a friend? However if she isn't your friend you'll have a disappearing realtionship cause all she cares about is having that boyfriend and she likes him. HOWEVER! If you like her, then tell her, pull her aside, yes she may like him, but nothing to say she won't like you either. You'll do the "what ifs" for weeks to come. truthfully all I can see is some girl who is going through a rough time finally being "liked" by some popular dude who will get her on the "map" as they say these days. So what do you do? Grab her, talk to her about her feelings, does she really like him? Explain to her that he only uses girls, example ex-girlfriends she may know, bu dont push it that hard and tell her how much you care for her and like her. Ask what she feels about you? Talking is the key, and if they are only talking in that class then there may be nothing at all in it. A crush kind of thing for her, and another "sex" seeking mission for him.

[Lyon2 0]

I could help you saying you what you should do but i will not, it is better for you to decide for yourself instead of asking for help in the particular situation, it seems you are smart enough to understand what a true friend is or not and what to do in case it is not.What i can say is that you must be prudent, smart, intelligent concerning which friends you will have on your life, if you know how to test people to see if they are your fiends do those tests, if you do not know how to test people, then there i can help you because i am not influencing you in any way, i do not want to feel guilty if things go bad or if in the end you feel insecure about how you faced the situation, that is why you should think for yourself and act for yourself too.Do not give trust to people that are not your friends, even if you think you can or have personal interest or even business interest in people, they will hurt you sooner or later.

[T84 0]

I thank you both for your advice on how to handle/aproach the situation. Lyon2 I'd like to say that no matter what happens even if i was completely shot down I wouldn't have blamed you, not only because it was my move to make but also because i feel endebted to you for taking the time to help me with my current situation. I've decided to tell her how i feel. I know I've said it was the last question before but I'm just about sure this will be my last one. I don't know in what situation(place/time/atmosphere) to pull her aside in. I'll be in school with her for the rest of the week and probally hanging out with her before and after school. I also get 5 minutes between classes with her inwhich she walks with me to my next class because of my injury. This friday night I've made plans for my freinds, her, and I to go to the resteraunt of her choice to eat. I also have an extra ticket to the up coming Redbull's game this saturday, and she said she is free that night. I would think the Redbulls game would be a good place to tell her because we both love soccer, but there are a couple things that might cause akwardness there.1. My mom will be there.(Although i could tell her when we go to get something to eat at halftime or something.)2. My best friend inwhich she "was in love with" will be there and i truely believe she still has feelings for him3. I would have to give the ticket to her, instead of my friend, who also wants to go to the game.(But he knows how i feel about her)Do either of you or anyone have any idea as to were would be the best out of those places to tell her how i feel and should i ask her out or just start with telling her how i feel?

Edited October 10, 2007 by T84 (see edit history)