Mich 0 Report post Posted January 18, 2007 A 98 year old woman wrote this to her bank. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times. Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three 'nanoseconds' must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my Social Security check, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become. From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan payments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate. Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof. In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows: 1-- To make an appointment to see me. 2-- To query a missing payment. 3-- To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there. 4-- To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping. 5-- To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature. 6-- To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home. 7-- To leave a message on my computer (a password to access my computer is required. A password will be communicated to you at a later date to the Authorized Contact.) 8-- To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7. 9-- To make a general complaint or inquiry, the contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call. Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement. May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous, New Year. Your Humble Client Can you imagine? This was written by a 98 year old woman. She certainly isn't suffering from senility. I only wish I had the panache' to compose a letter like this. It captures just how I feel about current banking practices. What with the way banks handle your accounts today, have you ever had something like this happen? I do know that they process things in the following order regardless of exact time of day each item arrives at the bank. 1. They always post any debits first starting with the largest amount. 2. Then they post any deposits (credits) you have made even if it arrived before the debits. Why do they do this? Because if you are cutting things close by depending on a morning deposit to cover your expenses that day, they can cause your account to be overdrawn by processing the deposit last. And by starting with the largest amount, they can hit you with more overdraft fees. Example: I have a balance of $50.00 in my account on Monday AM. I make a deposit of $200.00 to my account in the morning. I now have $250.00 to cover my days business. Or so I think. I do my business by debit card all day. Purchase #1 $20.00 Purchase #2 $15.00 Purchase #3 $ 5.00 Purchase #4 $60.00 Purchase total $100.00 so I should have $150.00 left in my account, right? At the end of the day the bank posts to my account: Balance $50.00 1. Purchase #4 $60.00 Balance -$10.00 Overdraft charge -$30.00 2. Purchase #1 $20.00 Balance -$60.00 Overdraft charge -$30.00 3. Purchase #2 $15.00 Balance -$105.00 Overdraft charge -$30.00 4. Purchase #3 $ 5.00 Balance -$140.00 Overdraft charge -$30.00 My balance is now -$170.00 because of overdraft charges. They finally process my deposit of $200.00 and I have a balance of $30.00 in my account. Please note that if they had processed the purchases in the order they were transacted there wouldn't have been an overdraft until the 4th Purchase since I had $50.00 in there to cover the first 3 transactions that totalled only $40.00. Of course if they had posted to my account in the order of all the transactions, there would never have been an overdraft at all. AND THIS IS HOW THE BANKS GET YOUR MONEY TODAY!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Misanthrope 0 Report post Posted January 20, 2007 A 98 year old woman wrote this to her bank. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times. Can you imagine? This was written by a 98 year old woman. She certainly isn't suffering from senility. I only wish I had the panache' to compose a letter like this. It captures just how I feel about current banking practices. What with the way banks handle your accounts today, have you ever had something like this happen? I do know that they process things in the following order regardless of exact time of day each item arrives at the bank. 1. They always post any debits first starting with the largest amount. 2. Then they post any deposits (credits) you have made even if it arrived before the debits. Why do they do this? Because if you are cutting things close by depending on a morning deposit to cover your expenses that day, they can cause your account to be overdrawn by processing the deposit last. And by starting with the largest amount, they can hit you with more overdraft fees. Example: I have a balance of $50.00 in my account on Monday AM. I make a deposit of $200.00 to my account in the morning. I now have $250.00 to cover my days business. Or so I think. I do my business by debit card all day. Purchase #1 $20.00 Purchase #2 $15.00 Purchase #3 $ 5.00 Purchase #4 $60.00 Purchase total $100.00 so I should have $150.00 left in my account, right? At the end of the day the bank posts to my account: Balance $50.00 1. Purchase #4 $60.00 Balance -$10.00 Overdraft charge -$30.00 2. Purchase #1 $20.00 Balance -$60.00 Overdraft charge -$30.00 3. Purchase #2 $15.00 Balance -$105.00 Overdraft charge -$30.00 4. Purchase #3 $ 5.00 Balance -$140.00 Overdraft charge -$30.00 My balance is now -$170.00 because of overdraft charges. They finally process my deposit of $200.00 and I have a balance of $30.00 in my account. Please note that if they had processed the purchases in the order they were transacted there wouldn't have been an overdraft until the 4th Purchase since I had $50.00 in there to cover the first 3 transactions that totalled only $40.00. Of course if they had posted to my account in the order of all the transactions, there would never have been an overdraft at all. AND THIS IS HOW THE BANKS GET YOUR MONEY TODAY!!!!! Wow - what an excellent post. I'm always appalled at the new and creative ways banks, and corporations in general, find to cheat and bamboozle the public. The scary part is that our dollar is worth so much less today, so you don't even have what you think you have in your bank account. And the Federal Reserve keeps churning out fiat dollars that are no longer backed by the gold standard. Curious, when the elite run out of money they can create it out of thin air. The rest of us aren't so lucky. Buy gold!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites