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shyshadow

How Can I Gain More Confidence?

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well... im in high school and ive liked this girl for 2years and i know shes like me to. i dont have any classes with her, but when we pass each other in the hall i dont have the confidence to look at her. i guess what im asking for is some advice on how to how to get more confidence and be able to look at her, and maybe ask her out

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Well, you have to be confident to go through with the whole thing, so work on it. But if you like her, don't let her go. That will make things even harder on both of you, and you shouldn't risk two years for that. Good luck!

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Well, after 2 years of passing her and looking away, she must have a hint that there is a reason for your behavior. Just conjure up the courage next time and look her way with a nice smile. If she smiles back, you have an opening. Do this a couple of times before you approach her. You will build your confidence with every encounter. Then you will probably have the confidence you need to speak to her.

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The longer you go on not doing anything, the harder it will be to finally do something. Maybe you could take baby steps. Just look over and smile when you go by. Do that for a few days. Then say hello. Work up to asking her, "how's it going?" or whatever the kids say these days... It's always tougher right before you do something than it is to actually do it.

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Of course, like everyone else, I have this urge to tell you to just do it next time you meet her, to just push yourself to smile and say hi. But I know it doesn't work that way. I was like that myself. You gotta take it in steps.I'm gonna suggest doing something. It's up to you if you wanna do it or not but please read to the end at least. Now, for the next 2 weeks, stop thinking about her. If possible, forget she exists. She is now a total stranger to you. This is so that you can focus on the job at hand without letting "her" distract you.Starting from tomorrow morning, speak to 5 total strangers. Anyone. Even if it's just the janitor, or just a person you see in an elevator. You can say anything. You can ask the person to push the button for your floor, you can ask the cashier how her day has been, you can comment on an accident to a passerby. Just whatever, to whoever.Then do the same the next day, and the next.On day four, start having longer conversations. Stop someone who is walking and pretend to be doing a survey on the coffee-drinking habits of your city. Have a fruitful 10-minute conversation with about 3 people a day. Or you could talk to someone who's standing beside you in a bookstore and ask them to recommend a good book. Have a light discussion on your favourite genres. Do the same in a music store.I think you get the picture. Just keep talking with strangers longer and longer. You don't need to ask for their name or contact. Unless she's hot of course. In that case, by all means ask for her number.After 2 weeks of this (if you follow the pace I outlined above), you'll be confident enough to talk to strangers for extended periods (about 20 minutes long).Now, when you meet her, use something that you've used before to meet a stranger. Pretend you have a survey you need to ask her, or stop her while she's walking and ask her if she saw the accident down the road and if the drivers are ok now, or stop her when you see her carrying a book and start a chat on why she's holding that book and how a friend had just recommended it to you and you were too lazy to read it.Really easy, when you think about it and have practiced.So try it out, yeah? Hope it all goes good. Keep us posted.

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If you want to be confident, it helps to know what you have to be confident ABOUT.Write down a list of all the good qualities you think you have. Are you a good listener? An artist? Can you stuff 10 marshmellows in your mouth without choking? Everyone has something they're good at.Then, ask your friends and family to come up with stuff for your list. You'll probably be surprised at what they believe your strengths are.Very little builds confidence than discovering new reasons why people like you. ^-^

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