Senior Citizen Entertainment (Im thinking of practicing for this)

[Mich 0]

I just had to post this one. Got it in an e-mail.

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make Their days interesting.

 

Well, for example, the other day the wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out aparking ticket. We went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?" He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi pinhead. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.

 

So my wife called him a s---head. He finished the second ticket And put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

 

Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age .

I added some more to this today 11/19/06 Just can't help myself. Scroll on down.
Edited November 20, 2006 by Mich (see edit history)

[AlternativeNick 0]

hahaha im honestly ROFLMAO reading this, that is awesome xDi wish old ppl were like that around here, theyre all jerks lol (or crackheads)

[Mich 0]

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!! I'll bet you can't read these without laughing out loud.

 

LOST IN THE DARNDEST PLACES:

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."

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FAMILY

Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"

The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?"

The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful,knock on wood." She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."

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"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."

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LITTLE LADY:

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Super sex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Super sex."

He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."

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OLD FRIENDS Now this one is just too Precious...lol

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had be en limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me ... I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

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SENIOR DRIVING

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Pl ease be careful!" "Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

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DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through.

The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection,

sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"

Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving?"