Poems yes I write poems....

[s2k6 0]

These are love poems written by me...Love is the dance my heart does,to the music of you.You're the melody...The rythm...The magicThe meaning in my life.Here's another.You're the song I love to play over and over,The movie I'll never get tired of,The novel I can't put down,You're the only one I'll ever love.

[DJ Panic 0]

Wow, these are really good. You should make them longer though. Most poems have like 20 lines. Maybe try and form the 2 together since they both have to do with music.

[RuneMan 0]

nice poemsi agree with DJ Panic.. It should be longer, most of them are and use complex language too. I dont understand half of the poems i've ever read....

[Sharn 0]

Wow, those are pretty good! Seriously. I like the second one cause it really relates to the world we're in now. :DBut, as said above, try and add a couple complex words in, maybe. But those are REALLY good. Write a couple more.

[ghostrider 0]

I wrote this 2 nights ago, is this any good?You and your lover are on top of a grassy hill on a cool cloudy night. You rest your head upon their chest and can feel the slow rythmic beating of their heart while you look for pictures in the bright stary sky. The sole thought in your mind is about you and you lover's amazing love you share and hoping to be able to feel this bond of trust, understanding, love, and peace until all the stars slowly fade away.

[spieleforum 0]

verry nice and romantic i like it because its simple to understand and short so they dont bore you but maybe a little joke wouldn be bad then the reader is entertained too the secound one is a little bit kitschy there are many poems like this i think but it sounds good too

[ThatDude 0]

For how short they were, they were nicely done.With a little bit more length to them, would execute the poems alot better.Try to use about 16 lines, that's about standard for poetry.

[NigaiAmaiYume 0]

I disagree with what a lot of people have been saying about them being too short. Expressing oneself in brief can be infinently more difficult than doing so in 16 lines. It's one of the reasons haiku continues to be a popular form: you have to chose exactly what you want to say, so that everything can be shown in a moment.These feel a lot like what I've been refering to as "Image poems" when I do them: stuff that lacks a lot of the structure normally seen in poems, but relying more heavily on symbolic language than normal prose. They definitely capture a specific image.Personally, I prefer the first one. I love the imagry of it, and your use of words seems very lyrical and honest.The second one doesn't move me as much. I think it's the bluntness of the last line; I guess I was expecting you to continue the metaphors of trying to prolong an inherently finite experience, and instead you go somewhere else entirely..Keep it up, and don't feel pressured to write more just because others think you should; you'll just end up lossing the feeling, IMHO.