Ramblings After Retirement

[sunilr_74 0]

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway. I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans! I was thinking about old age and decided that it is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it'. I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it "Pumping Rust." I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!" Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in case of an emergency.' I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!" Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do -- write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail? I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals. As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve. ---------------------------------------Subscribe to joke-of-the-day.com ;-)