DaRealChrono 0 Report post Posted January 23, 2006 What do you do? I mean you know you still love the person whole-heartedly and you would do anything for the person, but it's like time alone is good, and even though your still with the person it feels better to be doing your own thing. And then what happens when you don't want to break up with them but wouldnt mind hanging around someone else from the other gender without get in trouble with your bf/gf? IDK I'm pretty much making this posts to find out before the flame disappears to get some life-stories from you guys. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thorned Rose 0 Report post Posted January 23, 2006 My husband and I have been together for 10 years, since we were 17. We have two wonderful children. And yes, the 'honeymoon' phase is over but it doesn't matter becasue we still love eachother and still do things together and for eachother that really make us appreciate one another. Interestingly, when you first fall in love, your brain disconnects the part of your brain that decides if someone is trustworthy etc - yes, love is literally blind. But at about the 2 year mark, for some reason that part gets switched back on. Suddenly couples start finding fault in eachother. It's not that those faults weren't there to start with, it's just that they didn't see them. Things can get very ugly. If things start to go downhill, you need to sit down and talk, make same "arguement rules'. My husband and I have rules for arguing, such as no yelling, no calling names, no interupting, being straight up, telling how we feel etc which really helps during disagreements. And don't expect to not have them - everyone is different and have different ideas and beliefs. In a relationship, those beliefs can cause problems and couples either need to work around them, through them, change them or compromise. People will say a lot, don't try to change your wife/husband because they won't - not true. It's a matter of sitting down and talking about how you feel and what can be done to fix those negative feelings. If a wife feels that her husband is insensitive, he needs to practise being more sensitive. If a husband feels that his wife needs to give him some alone time, she's needs to organise a way for him to have some time to himself. Of course, things are never that black and white and there is probably problems on both sides. e.g. maybe the husband is insensitive because he feels like his wife is distant, in which case there needs work on both sides. As for keeping the flame alive, if there are things that you enjoyed doing during the honeymoon phase, keep doing them! At any rate this is an extremely complicated subject and i could go on about the psychology of things for ages but I won't unless you have specific questions Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OCAC 0 Report post Posted January 23, 2006 Totally agree with you Thorned Rose!You have to work on the relationship to keep it alive, if you just let it drag, it might survive, but what is the point. look for things you like doing together and continue doing them together. Maybe you each develop separate interests, that does not mean you cannot also be interested in them. Of course it cannot be the same level. But if you partner is a Golf maniac. Knowing what a 7 Iron is and who Tiger Woods is, can help or if she is into reading a certain kind of novels, know what the current author is and forwarding a link you saw about his latest book, might be all that is necessary.So, in the infallible words of the greatest of all wordsmiths George -The DubyaH- Bush. "It is hard work".But I can say it is worth it.Of course there can be the time when you realise it is more a tour de force than a tour de plaisir. And it might be necessary to part ways. That can happen, what ever you have put in. Afterall you are two human beings. And they tend to be unpredictable... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
master_bacarra 0 Report post Posted January 24, 2006 sometimes its good to have some time alone. you don't always have to be with one another all the time in order to maintain the relationship. sometimes, you could be away for a little while to make things more exciting. exciting in a sense that you will miss the person because he/she is away. in this manner, you would feel that you want to see him/her more often.about you being with other people, i think it's an issue of being honest, and especially, trust. you have to trust one another so that suspicions will not arise. that's the whole point of being with someone you really love. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
