Step Parents Liers

[Jesse 0]

Well all my life I thought I was known by one name, however that isnt even my name. And I thought my birthdate was when I have celebrated it all my life ... and well guess what that aint even my true birth date.My step parents have lied to me for years and I cant handle this. How did I find out? I went to a government agency to get my birth certificate and when it arrived in the mail it was all different information so I contacted them. And then they told me the info was right and then I contacted my step father.Well I have no parents anymore. I have no one. Why would someone put ANYONE through something like this. I wouldnt wish this upon my worst enemy.

[indiekid 0]

Well all my life I thought I was known by one name, however that isnt even my name. And I thought my birthdate was when I have celebrated it all my life ... and well guess what that aint even my true birth date.

 

My step parents have lied to me for years and I cant handle this. How did I find out? I went to a government agency to get my birth certificate and when it arrived in the mail it was all different information so I contacted them. And then they told me the info was right and then I contacted my step father.

 

Well I have no parents anymore. I have no one.

 

Why would someone put ANYONE through something like this. I wouldnt wish this upon my worst enemy.

198680[/snapback]

Would you prefer to be in an orphanage?

[mayank 2]

Well, what I think that your step parents are good and they have done the right step by not telling you because you are not able to handle that truth at this point of time and even if they would have told you about this at that time...then you would have taken it exactly the same way...what I will suggest you is that please think on it and if you remember what all they have done for you I am sure you'll thank them instead of getting angry on them.

[Jesse 0]

Would you prefer to be in an orphanage?

No I would not. What I would have preferred is the people I trusted and loved all my life to be honest with me and tell me who I really was for one thing.

I think that it is completly wrong for them not to tell me. Because now things are a lot worse then what they could have been. The longer this went one the worse it was going to get I suppose. All they had to do was be honest.

[floresid 0]

So you never knew you were adopted? If you did, you had to have known that you were originally "someone" else, before you were adopted. As far as the B-day thing goes, does that really matter, it's just a day that most people either party too hard on, or don't want to even acknowledge. So why should it matter which date it falls on?Most parents will do whatever they need to in order to make their kids feel normal, accepted, and loved. If that means not giving them all the facts as a child, then they do what they have to. How old are you now? Do you really believe that all those years spent w/ your adopted family are really worth throwing away, cause they tried to protect you form feeling out of place? I know if I adopted a child, I would probably change their name, so that child would be more "mine." I would also know when I felt that child was mature enough to know the truth and share it with them.

[[i]_R_Crazy_Idiot 0]

Hey, don't be angry. It's understandable. Don't be angry, as they probably love you as much as you were a real son.

[Jesse 0]

You know. I always thought that they were my real parents. Thats not the issue here. The issue is all the lies and deception that has happened over the years. If that hadn't happened then I think things might have turned out different.My step family have tried to be in touch, but I wont speak to them. Nor do I intend to for sometime yet.

[Saint_Michael 3]

I understand how you feel, most people don't want to find out that they have been adopted, but the parents are somewhat to blame they should have kept your birthday on the same date.quick before i continue just curious how old you are just to get a perspective on this?if your a kid/teenager most parents don't want to say anything cause of how frigile a kids mind is at that point in life. But you should be talking ot them and asking them questions like who your real parents are, any pictures of them (doubt it) and maybe even contact them to see why you where adopted by your current family.Well most of what I said up top about being kids is true as an adult.Don't be angry with them best thing to do is talk to them ask all the questions you can, even ask the question of why they never told you. your being angry towards the wrong people, yeah you can be angry with your step parents, but cutting them off is the wrose thing you can do about your situation, you should consider yourself lucky to find out that you have been adopted, most likly the family raise you good enough with the everyday problems of life.But now you mut stand on your two feet and find the answers that your seeking and once you have them your anger will be gone. who knows you might find surprise good and bad but you need to talk to them or it will make it worse for you.keep us up to date on the progress you have made as well.

[Jesse 0]

Oh I have tried to talk to them about this. I am in my mid twentys. So I am old enough to have been told about this a long time ago. Its just like my inter life has been a lie. I have asked them why and you know what there response was? "We dont think you can handle what we would have to say" ... then they hung up the phone. And I called back, getting more and more angrier. My anger is just so high right now I dont know what to think or do. I have even started taking some medication to calm me down, cause my doctor thinks I could have a nervous breakdown over this. Well he thinks this could set it off with everything else that I have going in life at the moment.I really dont know what to do ... or where to turn ... I have been thinking in the last few days that maybe I would have been better of dead from birth or never born at all. I know that sounds drastic, but what I am going through now I would never wish upon my WORST enemy in the world.

[disguise 0]

Aww...I actually feel for you. But i'm sure they did what they did out of love for you. This might sound ridiculous but sometimes i actually wish i was adopted because i'm pretty much sure my life would be a WHOLE lot different than what it is now.Good luck to you.

[Saint_Michael 3]

well the one thing that hasn't happen is your nervous break down, and medication will not help you it only surpresses it, you have to calm yourself down, even though i don't recommend it (its me) go talk to a therapist and fine ways to channel your anger, the therapist will give you the ideas on how to do it but you have to control your anger yourself.But your adopted parents are right your not handling this situation in a rational way, so the best thing to do is 1 calm yourself down back to rational thought.2 talk to someone you can trust, non family member perferably.3. On top of the therapist thing , I suggest bring them in to talk with the therapist, with a list of questions that you have with help from a therapist, to find out everything to want to know, remember only do this once you have able to control your feelings about the whole situation.4. If possible find out where your real parents are and talk to them as well.its taken me years to control my anger, it slips when it wants to but i can control, and so can you take time and practice.but those are only suggestions. But the one you must do is control your feelings about this, you need to be at ease with yourself and accept the truth that has been given to you.Your Angery cause you cannot accept the truth yet, but once you realize the truth, your anger with dimenish and then you can continue with you life with truth and meaning.

[wariorpk 0]

I almost know compeletely what you are talking about because my friend has this problem all the time. My friend's step dad is always getting mad at him, always wants to get his own way about everything, and is a complete *BLEEP* from what my friend says. I feel sorry all of you who have to deal with this. It seems bad and I have not even dealed with it my self.

[Arigato 0]

That must have been quite a shock for you. Your position is one that I can't relate to but here is my opinion. I think what they did was to your benefit. I would assume that it would be better to grow up thinking that the parents you had were your biological parents so that you don't wonder about things that could break you down emotionally. I'm guessing that your parents wanted to tell you but were overcome by fear of how you may react.

[Archangel_Baw 0]

I empathize with you completely. I watched my own mother go through that. It is a horrible thing to have an identity crisis, not knowing who you are or where you come from, just before my mother passed away she at least got to meet her biological brother and sister. But her real name was totally different, her adopted mother wanted all of it kept secret until she died, which was only about 6 years before my mother died. and the kicker is that my mother spent her entire life except the last 3 years of it (she was 52) knowing she was adopted and being denied the information she rightfully deserved.On the flipside of that coin, I love my adopted grandparents, they were great, and they loved my mother very much, but i think hiding that info from my mother was cruel.

[mojoman 0]

So your angry over a birthdate they changed, even though they've raised you for so long. They fed you themselves, took you into their own house, rather than leave u in an orphanage, and your angry? They've done a lot for you and I would calm down and remember that. Honestly i would just talk to them calmly face to face and let them tell you what you need to knowedit: wow just noticed this topic is like 2 years old. Why'd ya need to bring it back up lol

Edited August 4, 2007 by mojoman (see edit history)