Marriage I think its a waste of time, and money

[Nani Cheri 0]

Hi!!They say it's every girls dream: MARRIAGE the guy of your desires!!Tha man on the white horse, etc etc..Well, then I'm not normal, cause I think marriage is so not useful! You marry, and then you break up. And if you don't, you live unhappy. (I dont mean the people who founf there soulmates etc.) Why can't you just love eachother without all this stuff? Papers, papers, troubles, money, and if you have to give up the half of you fortune, you get a fight with your ex for free with the package.No thanks, I just thro some party with the same stuff, If I had to so necessarily have the whole thing, dress, birds, flowers, and the whole world looking at you.I'm able to love someone and to show that I want to spend my life with him, without all the marriage...Or is there something els I misses about why marriage is sooo great, and why it's good to show your partner you give him your all with asking him to marry you?

[Saint_Michael 3]

marriage is the best thing to happen in ones life, yeah people have their problems but if they fix them by talking them out they be happier, im been with my g.f for about a year now and you wouldn't believe the fights we get in, and yet we always come back up top loving each other more and more.you have to find that person and learn everything you can about them and thus you can learn about yourself as well, it takes time to have a happy relationship, and wehn you both decided to have children you know you will always be happy with each other.

[OpaQue 15]

You feel that because you have been seeing things in that way. You saw the negative part of the society. Imagine, you grow old one day.. The society usually appreciates you only when your young. Once you grow old, do you think you will get the same attraction ?After you cross your age, its then only you. IF you were married, then the case would had been diffrent. You will have a partner to share your thoughts and a person who knows you better. Who can ask you if something is wrong just by looking at your eyes.. these are the beutiful things in life which one has to look for.Remember, when your digging deep for gold, you dont curse the mud that your digging. all you are intrested is the gold. So marriage is a beautiful thing. Also, one should carefully chose a partner. So, dont hurry up when you face these things. Imagine that you have stepped in the garden of roses, feel them, look at them.. appreciate them but pick the one which you think will be the best for you. Keep in mind, your chosing a partner for life. Have a healthy communication with him. Let the relation go for some time and think bout marriage only if you feel that you are comfortable with him. Remember, he once you put the ring, you will have to live with him for next 50 years. which is more than the time, you spent with your parents. Also, most of the marriages break because of lack of trust and faith. The relation of marriage is considered sacred and hence the entire foundation of this relationship is on trust and faith. Have a strong hold over these things. What else can go wrong if you both trust each other. I hardly see any reason to break up then. Some marriages are broken due to personal diffrences. But imagine your partner to be just like you. His choices, likes, dislikes... almost everything. How ODD would that be. Diffrences spice up life. I suggest you see the positive part of life. Things will look bright automatically.

[Nani Cheri 0]

Whahaha your suggesting i see the positive part of live? well if some one is positive about things its me. I didn't say marriage is bad, I just didnt see the special things of it. If I want to be with somebody, I can do that without marrying.

You feel that because you have been seeing things in that way. You saw the negative part of the society. Imagine, you grow old one day.. The society usually appreciates you only when your young. Once you grow old, do you think you will get the same attraction ?

When I grow old, I'm sure Ive met a man I want to die with. But to be with someone, I dont have to marry right? Ijust can be with them!!! And I dont care If Im alone! There will always be someone who wants to be with me, but I doubt it that I will be so deperate, cause ive always been an individual person actually.
It's not that Onl I grow old, the boys of my age will have the same problem, they grow old to! But the point is, I don't see why I first have to marry someone, before I can say, I love that person and that we can live with eachother for the rest of or life....

[ashiezai 0]

hmm ... i think you must have seen alot of unhappy couples or divorced couple ... frankly .. i do think that disvorces in my country are far less than western countries ... and i sometimes do think that people from western countries see marriage not as serious as my country (sorry if i offended anyone) ... Actually marriage is a memorable and great thing to do in one's life ... because you can live with and die with and sharing anything with the guy or the girl of your choice .. yes .. it's true that you can live with the guy without going into marriage ... but in that case your life is not guaranteed and anything can happen in the future that you do not expect them to happen ... how can you trust a guy if he do not really want to marry you ... maybe he's just fooling around and wasting your time ... you wouldnt know ... you might say that you believe in him very much .. but you cant really know what's deep in his heart ... this is my opinion ... Like me ... I have a girlfriend now ... and i am willing to die for her ... and im thinking of marrying her all the time although im still studying .... as i think that living with her and as husband and wife will be the greatest thing on earth that i've ever dream of ..

[shigajet 0]

I believe marriage is a difficult but important decision in one's life. As much as there are many young people out there who think it's not necessary, there are many others who believe the opposite. Marriages are based on faith, trust and a strong commitment. If you are certain that you can live with the woman or man for the rest of your life, why not take that big step?

[elevenmil 0]

Marriage is tradition, it's been going on for generations, it's just a part of a couple's life if they are to spend it together. And if you are religious, getting married is also important, I don't know the whole rulebook, but I do know what God says about premarital sex.

[ManOfSTEEL 0]

Marriage??security for both and hapiness in the family, that what marriage is. we're not talking money, flowers what any material things here. Is you. why marriage is there. Sometimes I asked my self why I let myself tied into someone else if many opportunities knocked but just came late.. But because of those question, I realize how important marriage is, I am a boy and it is okay for me not to be married, but when it comes to security I am happy now. Technically some people who is not yet married but has more than one family than the one get marreid and stick on it for long time. My friends sometimes asked my why I get married to only one, beside it is possible to have one for more girls when you're still not married? Anyway, marriage is a tradition as a christian, Marriage is very important for us, it is part of the seven sacrament which means being a christian catholic you must obey the tradition and you must obey GOD in short... and if you are going to ask me about what even or what is the most important part in my life, I will say MARRIAGE is one of them...-_-Don't be afraid to get married, because you can still have girlfriend after this if you want....

[Milovoriel 0]

~ Marriage is like chickenpox or measles .... best to get it out the way when you're young ~

 

then you can spend the rest of your life free and easy .... cause' nothing is forever anyway ....

 

when it works, it's fab .... however, I see so many unhappy marriages, it makes me kinda cynical .... we all die alone anyway ....

 

and on that cheerie note .... Bye! xx

[Nani Cheri 0]

Marriage is tradition, it's been going on for generations, it's just a part of a couple's life if they are to spend it together.  And if you are religious, getting married is also important, I don't know the whole rulebook, but I do know what God says about premarital sex.

172104[/snapback]

Okay, I found that for my self a good reason to marry: it's a tradition, and maybe it feels like an affirmative for your relationship. Perhaps that if you marry you can keep yourself thinking that the relation is built on certainty?

[Nani Cheri 0]

hmm ... i think you must have seen alot of unhappy couples or divorced couple ... frankly .. i do think that disvorces in my country are far less than western countries ... and i sometimes do think that people from western countries see marriage not as serious as my country (sorry if i offended anyone) ...

 

Actually marriage is a memorable and great thing to do in one's life ... because you can live with and die with and sharing anything with the guy or the girl of your choice .. yes .. it's true that you can live with the guy without going into marriage ... but in that case your life is not guaranteed and anything can happen in the future that you do not expect them to happen ... how can you trust a guy if he do not really want to marry you ... maybe he's just fooling around and wasting your time ... you wouldnt know ... you might say that you believe in him very much .. but you cant really know what's deep in his heart ... this is my opinion ...

 

Like me ... I have a girlfriend now ... and i am willing to die for her ... and im thinking of marrying her all the time although im still studying .... as i think that living with her and as husband and wife will be the greatest thing on earth that i've ever dream of ..

170545[/snapback]

hey ashiezai!!

 

You know, how you put that...about your girlfriend and everything...I start thinking different about it. Maybe it's because I haven't found a boy who I really am in love with. I have a boyfriend, but I love him more, than that I am in love with him. Kinda brother sister thing... He is in love with me, and that's why we fight all the time, he thinks I don't like him or are interested in him like he is and does. So, maybe when I find someone like you decribe your girlfriend (feeling you do anything for her) maybe I do understand why people feel like marrying eachother, maybe I'm too young and too stubbern and independent to think it's the best thing to do in life!

 

thanks!

[Joshua 0]

Alright, well, as usual my opinion is that of the Bible's, if you don't want to hear it... just ignore me

 

Ah, marriage, the 2nd most important relationship a person can have... God created marriage a blessing, but God's blessings come with conditions and protections, when we try to get the blessings without meeting the conditions, we ruin everything. God's ways are best.

 

God created marriage to protect people, is it any surprise that in a society that has so devalued marriage we see women starving as they try to provide for themselves and families where the father left? So many children growing up without parents or else ones who don't care anything about them.

 

God meant marriage to simply be a formalizing of a bond where 2 people utterly commit themselves to one another. When you let others in on that relationship physically you take from the other what is theirs, for that bond joins you together so that you are one. And as the Bible says, what God therefore has joined together, let not man put asunder. (Matthew 19:6)

 

Why would you NOT want to get married? It doesn't have to be some fancy ceremony, it can be just the simple vows to one another before God. I've talked before on how people use the term "cheating" in dating. If you don't have that formal bond what is there to be "cheated" on?

 

Essentially when you are saying you don't want marriage you are saying you don't want to commit to anyone since you're interested in merely the physical pleasure you can have from someone's body, rather then the meaningful relationship God intends marriages to be whereby both people value and are valued by the other person, correct? Perhaps if people saw others as more then mere objects there wouldn't be so many divorces.

 

 

 

Also, if you think the Bible condones divorce for any reason other then the other person having sex outside of marriage, read this:

 

Matthew 19:3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?

4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,

5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?

8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

[msdeeva 0]

Okay, I found that for my self a good reason to marry: it's a tradition, and maybe it feels like an affirmative for your relationship. Perhaps that if you marry you can keep yourself thinking that the relation is built on certainty?

173491[/snapback]

That's logical. I know for me when I got married it was the next step in our relationship. When you get close to someone to the point that you know that you want to spend the rest of your life with them, it's like you become one. That person is like a blood relative, at least it feels that way if you take your time in a relationship. When people get engaged after only a couple of months, I think that's when you run into problems in the relationship. When the courtship is rushed, and people rush into engagement, people often realize that they aren't compatible after they get married.

[Nani Cheri 0]

Why would you NOT want to get married?  It doesn't have to be some fancy ceremony, it can be just the simple vows to one another before God.  I've talked before on how people use the term "cheating" in dating.  If you don't have that formal bond what is there to be "cheated" on? 

You can have a formal bond with someone, without papers! That's my point! that god created it, that's another story.

When you say I this, I don't agree with you:

Essentially when you are saying you don't want marriage you are saying you don't want to commit to anyone since you're interested in merely the physical pleasure you can have from someone's body

You can't tell somebody what he wants. They'll decide for themselves if they are 'merely interested in the physical pleasure' Thats *BLEEP* reallly!!! You see all of this too much as black and white, i must say. If it's not this than its the other. - If i don't want to marry , you asume I only want SEX with someone.- Well, let me tell you something, I know a whole bunch of people, who live by the bible of god, and doing horrible things to eachother. So, maybe marriage is a way to get to....but it's certainly not the one and only way to become this close with someone with that you'll love them uncontidionally, till dead parts etc etc. I believe, that my love can be that strong that you don't need marriage to have a bond with someone, or become one and very serious with someone.

BUT if you are tryin to tell that marriage is something of God, and only God.... that only people who believe in God should marry and like you've said, really only the simple vows to each other before God. Then I get why -believers- should to get married.
But then people who know that they will hurt other people later (by divorcing when having children for ex. but themselves 2) should leave marriage for what it is.

I'm not religious, and if it is a God's creation, it is clearly understandable that I didn't understand why people get married at all.

[Kim 0]

Hi nanicheri,I agree with you about being able to love someone for the rest of your life without all the paperwork and fancy wedding, rings, etc...I think for most people the wedding and rings symbolize their commitment to each other and their love. It's a physical reminder that they've finally found the person they're spending the rest of their life with. For most people the moment when they take that vow is very romantic and symbolic.And the paperwork...I guess is for legal purposes. I know couples who get married and live together without the paperwork saying they're married to each other. (I think they are doing that for tax purposes and it's probably illegal). But the legal stuff is symbolic too, I think. The couple is not only bound by society, but also by law, so it kind of represents another level of commitment.