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Power Persuasion How to use hypnosis to get your way...

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Hi guys,

I wrote this article for nlpweekly.com - a friend of mine is the webmaster.

Its about Neuro Linguistic Programming - and how to use it in everyday persuasion. It involves hypnosis. OOooo!!!

PS this really really works

So here goes:

Persuasion Rapport, Anchoring and making the request
NLP practitioners often direct their focus to therapy. NLP has had astounding success in the clinic, but what many people forget is the many ways in which NLP can be useful in the typical daily setting the home, the office, school whatever.

Wherever communication is happening, you can use NLP, to help you become a success. Ultimately we all want what we want, and often we need to persuade to get it.

One of the most basic ways you can become a more persuasive person is to create a profound rapport with everyone you deal with.

Have you ever been in a conversation and found yourself totally engrossed and focused on what the other persons has to say? Perhaps you may have smiled when they smiled, found yourself comfortably moving closer to them or maybe (if you were walking) your footsteps becoming in sync. In other words, have you noticed when you were in rapport with that person?

NLP helps us become consciously aware of what behaviours deepen rapport. Gaining rapport with someone means you are understanding and appreciating their model of the world (yours does not change). In NLP the conscious deepening of rapport is called Pacing.

To pace a person, first we must calibrate.
We must recognise what representational system they are favouring and their emotional state. We can do this by observing their non-verbal communication.

If someone is favouring their visual system, they are likely to be speaking quickly with a relatively high pitch. During pauses to think they will most likely direct their gaze upwards.

Someone orientated around the auditory system will speak a little slower, often with a melodious tone. They will probably look to the right or left when thinking.

A kinaesthetically focused person will speak slowly with a deeper voice, frequently pausing. They will gaze downwards towards their hands, often making use of gesture to explain themselves.

To pace our acquaintance, all we need to do is match or mirror his or her body language. Some sensitivity is needed here a NLP newbie who reads a book on rapport and begins to ape everyone he/she meets is soon going to become unpopular.
Mirroring must be subtle, and above all, it must be flexible. Non-verbal communication is like a dance, the moves dont always exactly match they complement each other.

A good technique that seldom goes wrong is to match your partners voice (tone, speed etc). A visual person will quickly get frustrated with someone kinaesthetically focused their slow response time makes them seem they arent listening. The kinaesthetic person will get annoyed at the visually focused persons prattle they feel hurried, as though the visual person doesnt appreciate their responses.

Now that your voice is deepening rapport, lets focus on non-verbal language:
Start to subtly mirror their movements as they raise and lower their hand in gesture, nod your head. When they sway their body from side to side, roll your head from side to side. Find the right balance between direct mimicking and interpretive mirroring. They should remain unaware (consciously) of you active attempt to mirror them.

Most importantly you should pace their breathing. Visual people will breathe a little faster (from the shoulders), the auditory focused people breathe from the abdomen (slower) and the kinaesthetically orientated will breathe deep down, towards their stomach (much slower). Match breathing to match state.

If you mirror successfully youll actually feel the bond in your conversation deepen.

Finally, use your language to strengthen the rapport. Youve identified their representational system use language that mirrors their state.

I see what you mean, thats something to look forward to

is an example of visually orientated language. An auditory based similar sentence might be:

Speak your mind, Im hearing you loud and clear

For the kinaesthetic person: 

Hold on a moment, Im still getting to grips with the idea

Using the appropriate language will help your acquaintance feel that he or she is really getting through to you (and vice-versa).

Hopefully by now you and your acquaintance are deep in rapport, and youve just remembered that youre trying to persuade this person of something dont worry, now well look at getting them into the state of mind where they will be most useful to you (insert evil cackling laugh here).

We are now moving from pacing to leading. You will now be aware of what emotional state they are in, so lets change that state.

Bring the conversation around to you, and start to tell them a story. When I last did this I suddenly exclaimed:

Oh but I havent told you about my weekend camping yet

Basically any opportunity, for you to graphically discuss an emotional experience, is what you want. Continue your story, peppering it with language from their favoured representation system. Because of your level of rapport, they will actually feel the elation you felt at catching that big fish. They will feel your sense of appreciation when you tell them how you wife was so generous, how she happily cooked the fish for you, how satisfied she felt at a job well done. (Note the language I used, this person was a very kinaesthetic thinker)

This person is now in a fantastic frame of mind to do you a favour. Through your artful story they have appreciated your model of the world and are feeling pretty generous.

If this is your boss, its probably not appropriate to ask for a raise straight after your story. Nor would it be normal to ask you neighbour for the loan of his brand new ride-on lawnmower, right after discussing fishing.

What you want to do is anchor this state, so that you can trigger it when the time is right to make your request.

Anchoring is common in NLP, but usually you anchor positive states for yourself. Here we anchor a positive state of someone elses, but it is also for our benefit.

So, to backtrack a little, while you were describing the crux of your fishing tale, you absentmindedly tug your earlobe (any gesture you never make unconsciously will do), you say the words in italics in a certain (different) tone of voice (remember to be subtle) and you stare straight into their eyes (and they see you doing this).

Congratulations! You just anchored the state your story produced, in all three representational systems.

Now let the conversation wander where it will, maybe even go talk to someone else for a bit, because all you need to do is tug your lobe, look into their eyes and use that voice and theyll be sent straight back in that state.

In my initial example, I told someone about a camping trip. This person was in fact someone who I wanted to borrow an expensive camera from. My request (half an hour later) went something like this:

So (tugs lobe, stares into eyes, adopts voice) can you see yourself lending me that new Panasonic sometime how about tonight? (tugs lobe again)

In conclusion, the Panasonic was a lovely little unit. It was used to film some fantastic interviews. I took it home, plugged it into my editing suite and put together a promotional video that made my clients ecstatic. The organisation I borrowed from has always maintained a no loans policy. They continue to do so, to this day.

I hope I dont have to draw you a picture.

Notice from BuffaloHELP:
Although this is your article, since it was published elsewhere before this posting don't forget the usage of quote tags. Thanks. UPDATE: removed quote tags. It was my misunderstanding of quote tags for author's own work. Restored as original.


Notice from rejected:
Quote tags added, a rule on the front page says:

Do not COPY (you must QUOTE if you have too), even if the content is yours and you have posted it else where!

Edited by rejected (see edit history)

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Wow, that sounds interesting. I was imagining someone using it on me as I was reading that, and it sounds like it would really work. I don't know if I would use it or not....maybe if I really, really had to :P, but it's still very interesting. I will be looking out for anyone using that on me from now on. :P

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All the most persuasive and influencing people who you meet use rapport (and anchoring) skills, wether they realise it or not. Maybe your one of them. :P Donald Trump is an expert at these techniques, but he probably just thinks hes a very gifted individual (which he is) - but these techniques can be actively learnt by anyone.I'll post more on hypnosis and Neuro Linguistics sometime soon :P Pdrive

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Guest mstewart1

yea, dat wud b kool if u cud get ppl v2 do stuffhow many of u actually have been siduced by hypnosis?

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seduced by hypnosis?... Im an experienced hypnotist, and Im telling you, it aint possible. Persuasion is one thing, getting a girl to like you etc. BUT, the fact is, if you smell bad, shes not gonna go for you. Hence I wouldnt recommend learning hypnosis, just to seduce girls.... instead, make yourself desireable...Pdrive

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Very interesting. I would go so far as to say that all humans do this to some extent or another. If you are talking to someone in a really mentally-engaged conversation, take one second to notice what you are doing with your hands or other parts of your body. Using gestures to help convince someone of or illustrate a point has been proven to be an inert psychological and physiological function. How do we know this? Blind people use the same gestures, even when they have not seen which gestures to use. Also, if you are talking on the phone, why is it that sometimes you use your hands to gesture in an attempt to make the point more clear? The person on the other end of the telephone cannot see what you are doing (unless, of course, you are on a video phone).Again, this is a very interesting topic. I would be so bold as to say that if someone has no experience using the power of persuasion and then tries this technique, they might end up making themselves look like a fool. I would personally suggest using very subtle additions to your already present conversational technique rather than adopting a whole new set of mannerisms.

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their already has been a topic posted about this already, but this one seems more in depth then that one, but im to lazy to try something this crazy out so i will end it here.

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Wow... I'm speechless. Great article, by the way!If I had the patience, time, and effort to do all that, I certainly have a few thing's I'd like to try on some people, mwhaha... *cough* But this 'power persuation' thing really delves deep into one's psychological state of mind, huh?

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WOW..I don't know what to say :( I really find it hard to believe that this works but since i got a friend who studies psyshlogie and we went out the other night, he demonstrated the power of psyhcology. He was just standing there and talking to people and after a few minutes talking he was able to tell me what sort of person this man/girl is...And it really worked because i've known that people for a long time and they were exactly the same as he described them...So I think if you are good a that you also know the weak spots of all ppl and this gives you an advantage to know which buttons to press at which time...It is really interesting (acctually we are really interesting - humans) ... :D

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This is a great article. Congrats!!!I would like to say that I use some of these techniques everyday. I am a language teacher and I have received some of them in trainning. Basically to induce relaxation. And they do work most of the times.Now, ever since I learned about NLP, I have been searching for more and more to read. There are several resources in the web, and courses out there , (although at very high prices...unaffordable for me.) Can you recommend any free resources in the internet, specially if they are related to education?I will be looking forward to reading more from you. Thank you very much.Regards,JoeMexico

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Check out nlpweekly.com thats a truly amazing entirely free NLP website, run my a friend of mine....They have a large forum there, for endless NLP discussion and support.... they are taking signups at the moment for a complete NLP practictioner course - it'll cover pretty much everything...Since NLP is all about modelling excellence (see my other NLP thread) you can use it to become excellent at anything and everything.Teaching is one of NLP's greatest departments... pretty much any NLP technique can be utilised in the classroom...... a particularly effective one is where you tell hypnotic stories that nestle embedded commands with the stories.... to your class, you simply sound like a stand-up comedian, and they can really remember what exactly it was that you said right in the middle of the lesson but they know that your a great teacher and their exam marks reflect this.So yeah, check out that webpage and sign up for the course, its really worth it.Regards,Pdrive

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Hey Pdrive...you got me in!!!It didn't take me long to make the decision. I went to the site, I browsed a couple of the pages inside, and I finally registered for the course. ;):D:D:( You didn't apply any of your persuasion techniques on me, did you? :(Well. I will be posting here to let you know of my advances :( Thanks.Joe

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Well, this was really fascinating, and i've heard of something similare to like this - psionics. you know, all that wierd stuff people do like reading minds, etc.. There was a russian woman who was really famous for this. she could even move objects just by the thought of it!! I was interested and did some research, and stumbled upon http://www.psipog.net/ it's a cool site, and has instructions on how to go about things. and it actually seems to work!!!

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Hiya JoerAwesome!... you're gonna have so much fun learning this stuff - of course I used some persuasion techniques on you :D ...... If you check my other thread on NLP (also in this sub forum) you'll see that NLP is essentially modelling... so every time I use some effective communication techniques, like the one I employ here on the foum, Im using NLP.Hopefully one-day, I'll be just as good as Milotn Erickson, and be able to put whole rooms of people into a hypnotic trance, just through my conversation.Hey, great one for registering for the course... I personally know the guy who's putting it together. Apparently there's gonna be feedback from experts, as you work your way through the material, so its really interactive... not just aritcles sent by email. Actual techniques for you to go out there and try.So yeah, feel free to post here, I'll help you out whenever you want :( There's some really excellent techniques you can learn in minutes... and then you can just go out and use them... be more persuasive, feel exquisit... whatever?!crs_cwiz, that sounds interesting :( ... ill have a look at the site.... I don't think that kinda thing is quite the same as NLP... NLP isn't mind control...... it's tools (effective stratagies) on how to use your brain.go well everyonePdrive

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