AbstracT 0 Report post Posted May 27, 2005 Ok...im not sure how to feel about the lovers to friends situation.The girl I am with now...sometimes we argue so bad we break up, and the second I suggest we be friends, because I would still like to talk to her because she's a great person, she flips out...she tells me she can't do it, but i think if she cared for me as much as she says she does she would do what she can to still be in my life even if it is as just a friend. I think she's my half but we're so much alike that its sometimes bad for us because we get to the same level of anger...I just don't get whats so bad bout just bein my friend Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nani Cheri 0 Report post Posted May 27, 2005 Ok...im not sure how to feel about the lovers to friends situation. The girl I am with now...sometimes we argue so bad we break up, and the second I suggest we be friends, because I would still like to talk to her because she's a great person, she flips out...she tells me she can't do it, but i think if she cared for me as much as she says she does she would do what she can to still be in my life even if it is as just a friend. I think she's my half but we're so much alike that its sometimes bad for us because we get to the same level of anger... I just don't get whats so bad bout just bein my friend 144806[/snapback] I have a boyfriend for 2 years now, we argue all the time...and once i just got tired of it and said i couldnt live like this anymore. I do love him, and i dont want him out of my life. I suggested too still be friends, cause i care for him. He had somuch problems with that! I couldnt understand.. But finally he 'accepted' it. But he started calling me all day...and just say things that lovers do and not friends...he made me so confused. Now...a month later... we are back together again...but htings still hasnt changed..and I feel sorry for that. we still argue but he is very careful cause he doesnt want me to leave him. and i love him.. still i also dont understand why being friends is so bad? It seems like everytime you suggest that, they already think they loose you orsomethin....sometimes being friends can make the relationship better, because you're probably meant to be friends, not lovers... succes! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elevenmil 0 Report post Posted May 27, 2005 She loves you man, but if you don't love her as much as she does you, than she'll have to understand that sooner or later, and sooner or later she will understand...goin to friendship can sometimes spark back the love lossed, let us know how it works out... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LeAnn Rimes My Angel 0 Report post Posted May 27, 2005 I'm not sure what the situation is based on with such little information, but she may be going through a difficult time in her life at the moment. It may be best to give her the space she wants for the time being. When she's ready, she'll talk to you again. Until then, just be cool. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpartacusUSTASA 0 Report post Posted May 28, 2005 Yea, she still has feelings for you. Since she used to be your Girlfriend, it is kind of a downgrade for her to just be a friend, and that is what is bothering her. Maybe through time she will get over you and find someone else, then you two can become just friends. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
karlo 0 Report post Posted May 28, 2005 Hmm... I suggest telling the Admin/Moderators to create a forum for Teen Advice and Teen Love Problems... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rvovk 0 Report post Posted May 28, 2005 If I look at my situation, my girl and I broke up 4 months ago. I don't see her and I talk with her only once per two weeks. It is *BLEEP* way, cause I still love her and it is difficult to be together and just to be friends, cause everytime we talk I get memories and butterflies in my stomach just from hearing her voice. So it is very very hard to be friends with your lover. Well emotions are to strong and eventually you end up being a couple again and if you feel miserable cause of it, then my suggestion is to be separeted and not talking with each other or in other case you can be lover. In my case I have difficulties with just thinking of her Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
karlo 0 Report post Posted May 29, 2005 If I look at my situation, my girl and I broke up 4 months ago. I don't see her and I talk with her only once per two weeks. It is *BLEEP* way, cause I still love her and it is difficult to be together and just to be friends, cause everytime we talk I get memories and butterflies in my stomach just from hearing her voice. So it is very very hard to be friends with your lover. Well emotions are to strong and eventually you end up being a couple again and if you feel miserable cause of it, then my suggestion is to be separeted and not talking with each other or in other case you can be lover. In my case I have difficulties with just thinking of her 145262[/snapback] Me and my girl friend were still friends, and I think were more closer than before when we broke up Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LeAnn Rimes My Angel 0 Report post Posted May 30, 2005 Sometimes being friends after a relationship is the best way to go, rather than getting them out of your life which makes it harder. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
twentyinches631 0 Report post Posted May 31, 2005 Sometimes being friends after a relationship is the best way to go, rather than getting them out of your life which makes it harder. 145810[/snapback] And sometimes its the worst. When I broke up with my first girlfriend, we swore we would be friends forever, and everyone else told me it never works out. They were right. For some reason she was always trying to make me jealous or something. She got a new boyfriend less than a month after me, and was ENGAGED to him like 3 months later. And all she ever wanted to talk about was sex with her new boyfriend either to me or in front of me. Now this is crazy to me, so maybe this isnt that normal of a situation... but you can see where I am going with this. But to address the feeling of "if she cares about me she will want to be my friend and in my life forever" mentality. Thats not always true. Sometimes when you love or care about somebody you just want the best for them, even if it means letting them go completely. It might not make sense at first, but it is true. So if it isn't working out as friends, you might just have to let it go. Maybe this is why some people are so afraid to date friends. Sometimes you really do lose that friendship, and it sucks. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LeAnn Rimes My Angel 0 Report post Posted May 31, 2005 And sometimes its the worst. When I broke up with my first girlfriend, we swore we would be friends forever, and everyone else told me it never works out. They were right. For some reason she was always trying to make me jealous or something. She got a new boyfriend less than a month after me, and was ENGAGED to him like 3 months later. And all she ever wanted to talk about was sex with her new boyfriend either to me or in front of me. Now this is crazy to me, so maybe this isnt that normal of a situation... but you can see where I am going with this. But to address the feeling of "if she cares about me she will want to be my friend and in my life forever" mentality. Thats not always true. Sometimes when you love or care about somebody you just want the best for them, even if it means letting them go completely. It might not make sense at first, but it is true. So if it isn't working out as friends, you might just have to let it go. Maybe this is why some people are so afraid to date friends. Sometimes you really do lose that friendship, and it sucks. 145970[/snapback] I suppose it can be damaging in some regards. Perhaps she is trying to get back at you in some form of cruelty, and "stick it in your face". She may be slightly immature compared to you. There could be many reasons for her acting like that, but I do agree that it is not very considerate of your feelings considering she was your first girlfriend. Even if she tries to make you jelous, it would be a great idea to show her your support anyhow, and be happy for her that she has found something wonderful in her life who she can spend the rest of her life with. Three months of knowing someone, then suddenly getting engaged is rather quick in my opinion, but it's her life after all. If it turns out to be a mistake, then hopefuly she learns from it. Women talk about sex often. It's not a big deal. My room mate (also female) talks about it all the time with me. Our friendship is still growing, but I have a feeling it may turn into something more in a few months (I'm giving it time, and not rushing anything). The relationship with her new lover is ... well, new. She may still be enfactuated, but once the novelty goes away, she may cool down. At the moment it may not be a good idea to be friends with her, but that's up to you. If she is making you feel uncomfortable, where seeing her is more of a problem than pleasure, then it may be time to take some action and do something about it. That's just my suggestion, but you need to do what you feel is right. Good luck man. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
