dizilluziondmasokist 0 Report post Posted September 29, 2004 Bruises........Blood........Insane........Handcuffs braces*BLEEP*ed up heels and facesHow much would you payTo give life faster facesA tear shedTatoos of long agoWho bled moreMe or youWith a memory blownOn stupid powders and liesA survival that shownI haven't lost my eyesCrystal suicideHigh, paying to dieI have fought the mirrorOnly to become a lieSleepin' with an enemy, thisThinking of those I missI've seen her faceOnly to tasteThe sin I would recieveOnly a mind to wasteNever a body to concieveI've only a birdAnd a song to singBlack then ashThough they beHead's dark tearsKharma for *BLEEP*ed up yearsThe one thingI will kill herSo that the nation shall feel the sting Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
grrlfromoz 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2004 No fluff or over the top allusions in this piece. The sounds are crisp, short lines are harsh and so well rendered, like "Crystal suicide" and "A tear shed / Tatoos of long ago." And the rhyme scheme is not obnoxious but keeps the rhythm driven. Here the form matches the content; feels to me like goth angst succinctly represented. That's just some freeking good writing.When I get that goth site eventually pulled together, I'd love to have some of your work featured there Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skazi 0 Report post Posted October 1, 2004 That was...interesting. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
grrlfromoz 0 Report post Posted October 4, 2004 aw come on, you can do better than *that* hehe It blew your mind and you know it! LOL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
