hineshgudka

sit here watching my life passing by, The experiences and loss brings a tear to my eyes. Some not all good like I had hoped, I look back and wonder how I coped. It kills me not to see his face, I try to find him but he leaves no trace. When I say hello, a reply would be nice, But he just stares so quiet like mice. I feel like I have done something wrong, I don't want to show it I have to be strong.He seems so shy like there's something hidden, In his heart like I'm forbidden.All I ask is for him to discover, I have feelings for him, there isn't another. I hate walking down that way, It reminds me of when we were there everyday. At the lockers is where we'd meet, When I saw his face my heart skipped a beat. I see him now but it's not the same, There's no conversation I guess I'm to blame.I miss being there walking down that path, I was there with him, till he got in his car. I'd wait for him or he'd wait for me, That's the way it happened to be.I felt we had something so special in hand, Like we felt the same, now I don't understand. What has happened, that has changed the vibe, what did it take from being so close then to not talking at all?It hurts so much, it feels like he's put up a wall. I can't break it down, it's stuck there like glue, Will it ever come down, will I ever have you. There's a part of me missing he once filled that space, It hurts so much just to see his face.

Dreams are a different world I surpass them,The barriers of pearl~With holding my soul from pain I create an atmosphere I hurl,Tornados of pain travelling fast towards my eyes,Rolled up in silk I slide out of my life,Into disguise,Glaze my thoughts with honey froma hive.And who said that love is pain?I destroy emotions before they get in my way,Proceed to affect minds with my wordplay,Hit the high note when I shed light rain.Singing to my soul I soothe my pain,Rhythmic tones in the space of a day, And u don?t even know what to say,Never hearda voice sound So grave.To live in reality~ shackled to others fights,It?s meant to be a bounty ~ but not in my eyes,Sweat beads dripping ~ encountering sleepless nights,How many tunnels before I find that light?

gun spectacular with more mace than bad boy records without God's facesay grace and spray gates with uzi filled hate with no shakeslow scrapes and done dates still runnin round like a mazeamazed at the rage I used to slay while I blazedstaged my own demise and then i prayed that it was nightfrightened by the daylight like I suck blood and i flyat least i tried to be the best i couldif i could pass this test, I wouldi know i should walk away and not talkdistraught nights when my fears fall shortand my tears call nought while my heart calls onebrung from depths unknown and known to breathe like the Sunthis gun on my side is cocked, im ready to diesteady my eye and let rip like I ripped out the skymy homies they sigh as i leap forth and rinse tightsince sight i been able to see you and im rightthis fight claims more names than anyone sayingblaming pressured hoods like they too heavy for the weigh-intwo cellies and a payment every hour on the cementdemented brains stained with the places that we wenti befriended satan and now im hating what this is statingonly been alive for 25 but now I strive like i'm breaking

You were my sweetheart, my lover and my best friend,Said you?d always be here till the very end,Now you?re a *******, a bully, a controlling freakWhy do you cause me pain and make me feel so weak?You hurt me, disturb me and I think its okCoz I can?t let go of you?re hold over meBut all I want to do is get over you and make you go awayYou?re sickly sweet words and you?re soothing touchI can never seem to get enoughYou make me feel like I?m the only one for youThen you use me, abuse me and treat me like a foolI?ve put up with it, only God knows how many daysStill left waiting, wishing, hoping you?ll change your waysSo I sit here reminiscing on days gone by,Contemplating the times you made me cryIs it really worth all the suffering and pain,When time after time you do it again?I loved you, cared for you; let you in my life,You told me you wanted me to be your wife,We had so many good times, before the bad ones cameAnd now I?m sitting here going totally insaneI gave you my life, my soul, my heartAnd like a vulture, you tore it apartNot for a second thinking the consequence of your doingYou just carried on hurting me, leaving me ruinedWhile I try to pick up the pieces once againYou say you?re sorry and want to make amendsMy hearts melts, I can?t say noAnd I?m still with you, trying to let goHow do I get out of this situation?This is turning into a mission, to use my own intuitionAnd be strong, I want to resist youEven though I love you and will still miss you?But I can?t leave you, I?m trapped, like a bird in cage,Wanting to fly, needing to get out of this stageIn my life, so vulnerable, so lost,But u still want to keep me at any cost,And you won?t let go when I?m crying out,How loud do I need to shout,To make you aware that what you?re doing shows you don?t care?I haven?t got the strength to put up with it anymore,All I want to do is walk out the door,But I can?t, it?s locked, and there?s no key,And I?m still trapped, living this life of misery

From the day we first metI thought we was meant to beSumtin so special and damn uniqueI could feel a vibe that made me think I gotta hold tite coz chances like this never ariseWantin someone dat is so sweetMakes u do such thingsThat you would even get down on your feetBut the recklessness dont end thereCoz the raw emotion , pain and desperation will always remain there...

You lay there crying yourself to sleep, with no one there next to you.Why do you wait and hope? What is it that keeps you here?Talking to an empty bed, an empty room, an empty house.Not understanding where we've gone wrong.Drifting so far apart, it's hard to see.Too close to eech other some might say, loosing the way I perceive.Pain, hurt and love all mixed into one.This lonely heart is aching.

A random exciting piece by me: Using photoshop, various brushes, and skills i have:S

this is a new idea my band came up with, the words are by myself, its a heavy metal piece (ie heavy thundering guitaring and drums), its quite different to the indie/rock music we usually create. the piece is short, and consists of us all shouting these three versus repeatedly, with lots of drum solos and guitar solos playing in the background. i know there are not many rock lovers, but i thought why not post,:FOR THOSE WHO DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF THE POEM, IT IS ALL ABOUT PRESIDENT BUSH AND HIS STANDING AS PRESIDENTMany members have asked me to put our songs on soundclick:id love to put our work on soundclick, but as discussed with my band members, as were are awaiting results from the record label company, and also we have to perform in front of them again, we do not want our songs to be pre-released and spread, especially over the internet."rising through the desert of political welfaretrying to find places, this world isnt safe,striding and strolling, shooting and killingthrough evident causes of destructionthe madmen, hail to his stupiditythe dictator, who was known, to lose his mindthrough his idiotic consiencethey fell in by his feet.they were called, the disciplesthrough blunderous voyages,they followed in his trail, corrupting and torturing the others.now they all remain, the unknown childrenin this world without negotiation.3 years have passed, and no sign of justicewhat ever has he done to the lost soulsforgiven he could have been, at the end of timebut now, he shall live on , but as a memory."

My latest digital makeover: I hardly really get time now to concentrate on my designs, but i continue to come up with ideas gladly, heres something i just came up with: Modifications Include: Adding eye shadow and eye liner retouching and smoothening her skin, as it was rather spotty hehe messing up her lips adding highlights to her hair original: My Version:

My latest design piece;