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Hey this kinda copied off my post in another thread but something else I've found that helps is getting to know your friends better. Don't just go out with your friends like you did when you were in a relationship. You know, just go out with the guys, stand around and drink a beer then go home early because you're depressed. Instead, work to deepen your friendships. I never shat on my friends like many guys do in relationships but I definitely didn't know them as well as I should have.

I've just gone through the most painful breakup in my entire life - I was with my girlfriend for 4 and a half years and had plans to marry her some day. The hardest part is being alone, feeling like you don't have any friends and questioning your future happiness / career.Here's what helps:Get to know your friends better - this has been the single biggest thing for me. When you've been in a relationship for a long time, a lot of your friends become more of acquaintances rather than true, deep friends. Tell them you're hurting but you'll be OK and are glad you have them. I just had some long talks with two of my friends and I realized how good they really are. If you've lost touch with many of your friends, don't worry, you'll be amazed at how fast you can build your *BLEEP* back up.Don't rebound - This is the biggest mistake (IMO) that people make after breakups. It's hard to stay single but you need to do it the right way, not the easy way. My ex is going out and getting drunk every night with her friends. It hurts to know she's having a great time while I'm hurting and lonely but I know that she will eventually have to learn how to deal with lonely nights at home.You can tell yourself there are more fish in the sea but I haven't found that useful. What I have found useful is realizing that as time passes I've come to see more things about her that I didn't like but ignored while we were together. This will eventually lead you to feeling the "more fish in the sea" thing.It's only been a week but I've been through this before. It's different for everyone but everyone finds happiness in the end.

Thanks for the replies, interesting stuff everyone. It does suck but I've been through heartache before and I know it'll pass eventually. Good call about being patient. I think patience is a key thing to have when going through hard times. You just have to wait a few months and look forward to feeling good again. I can't imagine what it must be like for people who've been married for 20 years and then suddenly find out their spouse has been cheating on them or something terrible. That happened to my uncle a couple years ago and he had to deal with being 45 years old, alone again and living in a small town. He made it through OK though, started a business and seems like a confident happy guy now.

The hardest times for me after a breakup are the lonely nights at the apartment we once shared. Four and half years and now I'm back to solo. It blows but it wasn't a complete shock. PS - Sorry for the long post. The short of it is this: What do you do to pass the time? Here's what I've done and found it to help: -Go out with friends -Surf the net -Read forums like these Other things I've done that don't help: Paced around the house Lay in bed trying to sleep Make a myspace / facebook Watch DVDs Hitting the bars / clubs Watching my DVDs sucks, I've dropped that from the list. I don't have (or want) cable at the apartment so we've always just watched our DVDs together. Very depressing to watch them alone now, especially the comedies...need new stuff. I'm now considering paying for cable! Pacing the house and laying in bed trying to sleep - that makes me want to text / call her. No good. Make a myspace / facebook - Maybe eventually this will be good, but right off the bat it doesn't help. Still too depressed and disconnected from other people. The pretty girls all look so...foreign. Like strangers. Plus immediately after a long term relationship, you probably don't have a very wide network of friends. Bars / clubs - This one sucks right after a hard breakup too. I've always hit the bars every weekend and felt fine because I had a wonderful girlfriend to come home to. Right after the breakup, it's just like the myspace / face book thing. All the girls look like strangers, all I want is an immediate replacement so I definitely shouldn't be going to the bars getting drunk. I know that an immediate replacement is just a temporary kneejerk reaction and I also know that I don't want any girls from the clubs. So what do I end up doing at the bars / clubs? Standing there, sad, comparing everyone to my ex and my relationship. I'm guessing this will go away in a few months and it will be fun again - but not during the immediate aftermath. So tell me what you all do to pass the time. I'm curious to know. Thanks for reading!