First off let me being by saying I know there are 8 million threads just like this one, but I feel like I need some love right now (Ihope you understand).
My girlfriend and I just broke up 2 months short of our two year anniversary. I am in a ton of pain right now and don't understand what I am feeling. I'm hoping you guys can help me overcome my pain and morbid feelings a little better than I could on my own.
So I just broke up with my beloved girlfriend Jennifer after a close to two year relationship.We met in High school when we were Freshmen and knew each other for close to 4 years before we began dating. Out first date was the night before graduation. I ended up telling her how much I liked her and that I didn't want to miss a chance and that was it, we were together. We had a great relationship at first, we were inseparable. One of our close friends described our love as "The stuff fairy tales is made up of." We were truly that couple that everyone loved and hated at the same time. We were both living with our parents at the time and would spend equal effort to get out and see each other and do things together, it was great. I would send her flowers at work, show up randomly to see her, kiss her passionately, everything I was supposed to do. However, things started to go bad after about a year of dating when we moved in together. We all of the sudden began to see all of the things we hated about each other. Despite this, we pushed on, confident in our love. We were as happy as could be for awhile until, slowly, we began fighting about every little thing. This or that blah blah blah, I'm sure you know the story. Which brings us too the breakup.....
It was sort of a mutual breakup but right now I feel like I just made a huge mistake. I can't force myself to do anything, I can't even eat. Basically what happened was that we got into a fight last Saturday night over the fact that she always goes out (mainly with her girlfriends from work) and I don't get enough attention from her. I told her this and a big argument followed soon after. She decided to go out anyway that night and I said "Fine, I hope you just don't come back." I know these words were extremely hurtful and I should have kept my mouth shut, but I was really mad. I have a bad habit of saying things I don't really mean when I'm upset. Well she went out and never came back. I figured oh she is just staying out late drinking or crashed at her girlfriends place. So the next morning I start getting worried and text her that I'm sorry, and worried, and for her to please come home. Nothing.... for the whole day, all I did was think about her. Well the next day I text her again because by now I'm in a panic. All I can think is "Please just let her be alive". So finally she gets back to me "I'm staying with my parents and i'm too mad to talk to you right now, please give me another day." Fine, whatever, this just pisses me off even more (not that i'm not relived that she is okay). So the next day she messages me that she is going to come get her stuff, and I am just thinking "meh, whatever she wants". So I get home from class (she had come while I was taking my midterms) and literally ALL of her stuff is gone, not just some or most of it, ALL of it. I start freaking out a little bit but then I see something that just completely depresses me to the bottom of my soul. She left the promise ring I gave her. I'm so shocked that I get upset again. So I go to work early. When I get home I take a shower and go straight to bed. Then I woke up this morning, and it hits me, HARD. "HOLY S!$T you moron shes really gone."
At this point i'm hoping everything is just a bad dream and hop on myspace only to see that her status is single and I know it's over. So there I am, laying in bed for 7 hours, just crying and crying, holding our picture against my chest. I'm sorry to sound a little emo here but men do have emotions too. I keep picking up the phone wanting to text her, call her, ANYTHING. I know she still loves me and I obviously still love her but we had broken up once in the past for a day (thats a long story too, but we got over it) and I'm afraid it wasn't meant to be. Also I feel like I need to see her because it's not easy to go from seeing someone you are very passionate about daily to not seeing them in almost an entire week straight.
1)So my real question is what can I do to deal with my pain?
2)Should I call her or just let it be?
3)Is it a bad idea to ask to see her?
4)Is it worth it to ask for another try?
5)Why was I ok yesterday and way depressed today?
6)Whats something good to eat when you have no appetite?
7) I'm stuck living where we lived together, how can I make everything not remind me of her?
8) She said she still loves me, what is that supposed to mean?
9) How do I tell my family and friends?
10) I feel like going out with my friends won't help, any alternatives?
I know i'm asking for alot but PLEASE I beg you, I need your help badly. I'm in alot of pain right now and have a history of cutting, I don't want to resort to that *BLEEP* again.
