Hello, new user here, I couldn't sleep so I thought I find a counseling forum and ran into this. I guess I'll start why my mom can't speak. My mother had an aneurysm in her brain a couple of years ago (7 years I think) and had multiple strokes, I can't remember how many, I think it was like 4-6 strokes maybe? Anyway, she has no feeling in her lower jaw, muscles in the tongue, lips and nerves in the the finger tips so she isn't able to grasp things firmly, for example not able to hold a pen and write correctly. Now, myself? I'm 23 years old and I'm a concept artist doing art work for video game companies for freelance and just received a job offer in Florida, so hopefully that goes well. I'm a positive person, outgoing, love to hang out with my friends, very nice person to everyone, I believe god is love and/or good morals (I'm not sure what to keep believing but morals are looking good for me right now), observant, humble, kinda confident but I like to go head on with challanges, I'm a Gemini, very open, love hardcore death metal (Darkest Hour, Zao, Between The Buried and Me, Carnifex, etc.) and open to music as well like Counting Crows, Wallflowers, Muse, Skinny Puppy, Chrono Cross and Princess Mononoke soundtrack, etc.). I grew up in a not so good neighborhood. There were too many bad Influences and I'm glad I didn't turn out like all the bad kids as a smoker and a drinker...and most importantly, a father, lol. Well, that's pretty much me in a nut shell.So far me dealing with my mom not talking? I know it's not an easy thing to do, nor do I know if I'm doing it right. I'm the oldest of 6 and I stand proud and strong for my brothers and sister to see that. My family may be broken, but I'm trying my best with trying to talk with them and if they need to someone to talk to, I'm here for them. I may think I need someone to talk too, I don't know. Maybe it's me taking a lot of responsibility and not taking time to ease my pain. But I can't seem to sleep well now and days, I can't calm down, I dwell on the past too much with love life and family problems. I don't like taking drugs (medication) pills won't make me happy and I already know that. But I almost cried in my sleep tonight cause my heart was hurting a lot and I have troubles shutting off my mind sometimes so I stay up late just downloading movies or drawing and painting on my laptop something to tire myself out while being productive. It hurts when I have to tell people that my mother can't speak and it's frustrating when she tries explaining things and they nobody can't understand her. My mom use to be a great Realtor but now she seems to be a stubborn 13 year old and I know the surgery must have done some effect on that part. She is a very strong woman and I love her a lot, she can drive me nuts sometimes but I try to stay calm. I guess I need some guidance? anyone who have experienced this before? any kind of help will do. The only thing I know how to deal with this whole mess is be strong, keep my head up, be positive and most of all. Have love.I guess a g/f wouldn't hurt? I think I should love myself more than anything right now, I need help on that too.Thanks for reading,Rob
