lady_cindy

Hello, Everyone.Thank you for all your help. I need to tell you the update. I had to bring the police into it. After much disputing and argument. They took him away finally. Me and my roomate moved. I am so happy now. I feel free. Thank you for supporting and giving me advice, without you, I would probably had no courage to get out of the suituation. You were my strength. Thank you. Your advice and help... truly, has changed my life.Thank you,from, Cindy Sanderson

Sorry everyone I haven't been online much, but I had to deal with apartment issues lately. Alright, at first the apartment complex manager said it was ok if I just paid the penalty of $2600 but because of legal contract issues arrose, I cannot leave without his signature again. David will not sign. And david refuses, or does little or no effort in finding an apartment for him to leave. I even found him apartments which all he needs to do is sign the application in order to live there. But he refuses. (franz see.....you already know this part, I told you about it... but I did forget to tell you that I found apartments for him which all he needs to do is sign the application but he does not want to..) When I told his father about this recently how he sometimes talks about he has voices in his head, or he hears the earth crying and that his son needs to get back on his medication, and that david is really messy ....and the house is full of david's trash in the living room and kitchen and that it was a health hazzard...... His father really just called him up and asked him why has he not been cleaning his trash ( I am assumming his father asked him this because), I was out in the kitchen at the time, and I could hear david yelling on the phone " I am F*cking messy?! I am not messy, it's all their f*cking guinea pigs fault! The guinea pig almost killed my friend! I am telling you it's all his fault! Their guinea pig is messy!". What david ment by "The guinea pig almost killed my friend!" was because his friend has allergies, his friend was not dying, everytime his friend would come over we would take out the guinea pig from the living room and place it on the balcony, that way his friend would not have allergies. I don't feel his father believes everything when I tell him about his son. His father only listens to me, says "uh huh" alot, but gives me little or no feedback on my suituation. Although he does feel his son should move away from us. And supports the idea. But like I said....david does little or no effort in finding an apartment, and he keeps saying how he really does not want to sign the lease and guilt trips me how he thinks I am trying to kick him out of the house. Even though I told him numerous of times it would be better for the three of us, me, david and adrianna. He simply ignores my plea for him to sign us off the lease and often refuses to look for a new apartment. Even though I myself searched for apartments for him....he says he doesn't want my help. I could care less of how he keeps his room, but.....The living room and kitchen I expect it clean, and what it looks like currently. It is a health hazzard. Beer everywhere and trash, and it's all David's. Because david leaves the beer around the living room, we have a knat and flies problem. David drinks excessively...( look I am not asking for much, I am not a clean freak, but I ask him to have the living room clean and the kitchen clean, so we can live in it without knats and flies) Everything in this livingroom picture below, and I mean everything trash is David's.... and the black thing is his, the table with stuff all over is davids, all the stuff on the counter is davids...I hate to point the blame, but it is honestly all his. And I am tired of picking his things up...and cleaning up after him. Kitchen....(All of davids dishes on the counter...and things...and beer) Still in the kitchen.....He has empty bottles of beer in the kitchen cabinets... Close up on the beer... ....Now...his room....I will not even go into that...it is a complete utter mess..believe me when I say his room is worse..worse.....But I could care less about his room, me and adrianna do not live in his room, he has every right to keep his room however he wants, but the living room and the kitchen, must be clean...he is not the only one using it.. That trash there has been there for weeks, and so have the dishes.... like I said before....in the past.....he has left food out until maggots started to grow on them... Now...in comparison, I am not a super clean freak, but I am clean.... I do not leave beer littered all over the place or food in pans or have junk all over the floor or tables..... This is my room. -- Now David was saying that my guinea pig is the main problem of the mess...and that I am messy as well for having a guinea pig... Now, a guinea pig and a black cabinet and vaccum are the ONLY things I have in the living room, everything else you saw in the living room, and kitchen pictures is David's... My guinea pig only leaves bedding crumbs on the floor which I pick up every week and vaccum, anyone who owns a guinea pig would understand that this is true guinea pigs tend to kick some bedding out of the cage... and david seriously has a problem with my guinea pig and complained to his father that the guinea pig was messy. My guinea pig is messy but...I clean up the mess...which are the bedding crumbs. In the picture below, you see some bedding crumbs on the floor, and that's as bad as it usually gets... So I do not know...why he sits there and blames the guinea pig when...david does not clean up his mess for weeks! Well....I sent these pictures to his father, and that's why his father called him about...cleaning up his mess...but sadly, David has not cleaned his mess....Me and adrianna really want to leave this place...away from him...I hope he signs the lease...I will have to speak more to his father about it. So that's my update on what has been happening between me, david, and adrianna. I truly regret the day he moved in with us. Our current lease will not end until...August 2007. He has so many problems....mentally....I feel I tried all I could to help him..

I know he may seem like a freak but... He never used to be like this..... He has done worse, he has had enough nerve, and out of no where, out of the blue, aprouch me and only me, and asked me, if I was willing to have sex with him with objects and that I did not have to be his girlfriend to do that , so he can be really perverted at times ......The reason he says things like that to me, is because he is the type of person who will say anything that pops in his head, if he thinks something he will say it, and yes he offends people in public when he does. When he used to have his medication he was quiet, ...I am telling you he was never like that he was so nice. He would also reapeadly tell me, numerous times, when he cries when he is depressed..... that he see's me like his mother, and sister. By the way he does not have a sister only 1 brother. I really wish he would just take his medication, it would more than likely solve all the problems that are going on with him. But he refuses to, I can't force him to eat the pills. If It comes to that, I will take him to court. Hopefully the suituation doesn't go that far. Thank you for your help. I don't think he means harm either, but he is unpredictable and tends to have outbursts of temper. He has never hit anyone but, I am not sure if he is going to get worse. Thank you for your post.

I really want to thank everyone who posted, I truly am listening to your advice, and will try to make my decision out of it. You are helping me alot. I tried, to take Serverph's advice, as close as possible, I wanted to tell him our collective rundown of our complaints so he can hopefully hear us out and try to change. So I called Benn and Anne's house this morning, they said they could not come over, and Anne did not seemed like she wanted to and did not look forward to it, I do not blame her. Well, I felt the sence of urgency, so me and Adrianna, tried to talk to him about it. I talked to him today at 10:00Am. At first I was calmly trying to talk to him, telling him how we felt. As soon as I started to tell him that I was not happy with the way he has been acting, and that I fear for me and Adrianna's sake. He changed his tone, he said that I was overacting about the suituation and that I was immature and being a child. I kept telling him that I felt uncomfortable around him ever since he had been acting strange. He then asked why I was being such a "*BLEEP*" and that he is upset at me now and that I should ask him for forgiveness, .....it was now my turn to ask him for forgiveness because I was blowing everything out of poportion. I told him that I was not blowing it out of poportion and that Benn and Anne moved out because of him, which is the truth, ...I was trying to tell him why they moved. He only interupted me and said that Anne's was always a "*BLEEP*" and that she was paranoid person, and Benn was just an "*BLEEP*". And yes, I could tell Adrianna was too afraid to even bring up anything since the conversation had turned bad. I got really upset, I eventually stood up and I told him, "look I do not have to put up with you, I do not want to live with you anymore". He simply said, "you're the one talking bad about me, why can't I be mad at you for once, you have to ask me for forgiveness now". I knew this conversation was not going to be solved the simple fact that he kept interupting me every sentence or so. I was way to upset I took Adrianna by the hand and had her come to my room, and we sat in my room thinking of what to do, I showed her the posts all of you posted and she said that we should definetly talk to our apartment manager again about moving out and ---our situation with David--. We did that, at 12:00PM we left the house in secret, we made sure David was not out in the living room where he could see us walk out, did not know what was going to happen if he saw me and her after that conversation. We left the house to our apartment structure's office, we talked to our manager, he looked at us very surprised and said, "Well, in order for you two to move out, he needs to sign. But if all of you move out you would have to give us 30 days notice, and pay the penalty for moving out, breaking the lease. Which is $2,600 dollars. That would mean David would be forced to leave." Now, me and Adrianna, need to save money to pay this penalty. Which if we pay we can force all of us to move out. David would have to go back to his father. That is the options they gave us, for this suituation. When me and adrianna came back home we immediately went into my room. I then noticed a paper slipped under my door. David wrote me a note. It says " I know your all pissed now but when ever you stop acting like a child and want to talk let me know. And I don't want to talk about it over the phone it has to be in person." I don't want to approuch him, I know that means he only wants to talk to me and me only, I don't know how unstable he is at the moment, he is unpredictable. I do not know what he might do. I think he thinks that I was really upset at him from this mornings conversation of the collective rundown of our complaints ...... I am not going to lie, I was when he started to get verbally abusive. But I know what that letter means, I have to ask for him to forgive me. That is what he wants. Hopefully this does not escalate. So here I am in right now locked in my room with Adrianna, hoping that this will end one day. I am going to try to move out, I will start saving that money, and as soon as I have it, I will talk to his father about it. Sorry for the bad words ( they are bleeping at the moment), I was only trying to explain what he said. -Cindy

I am, 21. Adrianna is 21. David is 20. He will turn 21, in September 19. Thank you for your sudgestions. Talking to his parents again, yes, I have thought about that. But this is a very touchy subject, this would be alot to break on a parent, after a while parents tend to not believe bad things they are hearing about their kids. David does not get along with his mother, he absolutely hates her. His parents are divorsed. And his father really was the one taking care of him. I've actually been at his father's house before. He is such a nice caring father.But I don't really want to overwhelm his father, although I have talked to his father before about some of his behaviour. One occasion which was, David left for 5 days, and I didn't know why and I was worried, so I called his father ....this was the first time ever that I had spoke to him about his son's behavior. His father said he'd give him a call after he talked to david ( his father called davids cell phone). And when his father called him, he believed David when david said " I just wanted to stay at my friends house for a while." His father called us back saying "it's ok for david to spend the night at someone else's house but I talked to him about making you worry like that, it's not right to make people worry".But what David told his father was not true, David had sent me an email, ( At that time I assumed he was at a friends house), and the email stated that he left because.. he had found out I had a boyfriend and that he wanted to kill himself. I did not respond to his email or called him. He eventually came back home asking why I had not emailed him back or called him...and said he was sorry for being upset at me and asked for my "forgiveness" and would not stop asking me for "forgiveness" until I forgave him, if I did not forgave him it ment him knocking at my door alot. But of course that did not stop David from acting the way he always does.So david will lie to his father in order to seem less upset than he really is. It's like he is a complete different person around his father he tries to be very good around his father.....and around me and Adrianna he's just so different.His father is also the one who paid the damages for his court case of david damaging his friend's car. And told him not to do things like that again. His father knows about him not taking his medication, but his father thinks that his son is okay without it. David's father trusts david.So if I call his father, and tell him all the things David has been doing. I dout he'll believe me, the simple fact that david acts proper around his father. His father will probably think I am over exagerating. I am honestly not.I am seriously thinking of taking the sudguestion about calling the police and his father again. But how would I even start to even explain this....or better yet show proof that there is something wrong with him??? I really, would like him out of my life. I am way to stressed living with him.Any more advice??

Today, I've really had it with my friend.He is my roomate, and were under a lease, a years lease. I seriously had it with him. What happened was.Me (Cindy), my friend Anne, and her Anne's boyfriend Benn, and another friend I knew from high school named David moved in together in a two bedroom apartment. First thing I did was have everyone sign a contract with rules of the house, in order to respect eachother's well being. I had them view this contract BEFORE we all moved in with eachother. They agreed to it and signed it.The rules were this: ( Some are silly but, it's respect torwards eachother as civil beings)No doing drugs or getting drunk in the house.No walking around in your boxers or underware.No parties or loud music.No inviting friends over unless you let everyone else know and everyone is ok with it.Everyone takes turns throwing their trash every week.No eating eachothers food unless asked.No touching or using your other roomates stuff unless asked.Well, everything was fine, until David started to act very odd.David is a friend I used to know in high school for 2 years, he was a quiet kid, very polite, very nice, would not be the type to ever start an argument. He was very meek. Very, very, shy. He was a chubby kid. ( nothing wrong with that but that's what he used to look like)We all moved in together. And after 2 years problems started to happen. David the first year was very polite, very considerate, but I noticed after the second year we all lived together, Anne's boyfriend, Benn was starting to give complaints to me, and saying that David is being odd, such as knocking obssessly on their door and coming into their room sometimes just to talk to Anne. I thought , Benn was simply getting jelous. I talked to David and David would say to me that Benn would always talk down to him, and was not friendly torwards him. I tried talking to Benn and David, and had them talk to eachother about the problem in order to find a solution, David would say that Benn was lying about the "him knocking on the door alot to talk to Anne" David would say he didn't like her at all. Benn throught David did like her. Anne would tell me " He is constantly following me when Benn is not around and he will knock on the door alot in order to talk to me, I don't mean to sound conceided but, I know he likes me even though he says he doesn't, he is stalking me in the house or where I go". Anne, and Benn noticed a change in his behavior. They wanted to move out. I asked them why, they said " because he stopped taking his medication, he says that it makes him feel sick so he doesn't take it anymore."David does take medications, he takes medication for Terets, A.D.D, and Depression.I thought she was over exagerating, I told them I did not want them to leave, I kept insisting them to stay, but they refused,....... I let them go ( they could not leave unless they found a replacement person, according to the lease) , and they found me... a new roomate named, Adrianna. After that incident. So now it was, Me, Adrianna and David. And I asked David if he did stop taking his medication, he confirmed it and said he did stop, I told him as nicely as possible to get back on it, and it's good for him. He refused, he kept saying that doctors are only trying to pack him with medication he did not need, so I left it at that. And yes, I noticed the excessive knocking in my door shortly after, I would awnser the door and ask him what he wanted, and he would just want to "hang out" and "spend time" I told him bluntly that I do not have time for that, and to stop knocking at my door only to ask me the same questions over and over. On several ocassions he asked me that he wanted me to be his "girlfriend" I told him it would never happen, I told him to look elsewhere, I am only his friend. But no, every month he kept asking, and asking, to the point I had to rudely tell him it would never happen. He would tell me that I am immature, and that I will one day give in. He would then, follow me everywhere I went, if I went to the store, he would drive to the store, if I went to my parents house, he would drive his car and park it around my house, until I left. Adrianna noticed this, and she was scared of him.I kept telling david to stop following me and stop trying to "spend time with me". That I have no time for "boyfriends". He grew very angry, to the point he would come into the house, blast out music, to where neighbours would come to the door and tell him to turn it down, he would only turn it down for the neighbours when ever they'd complain, and he would drink in the house and bring tons of "guy friends" to the house. To where me and Adrianna were scared of him and lock eachother in our rooms. And when ever Adrianna and me would come out of our rooms he would sit there and talk about how drunk he was and how he smashed his other friend's car window and boast about how he ejaculated his body fluids into Anne's and Benn's milk because he didn't like them. I did not know about this but I was so shocked when he said that. And Yes, he did go to court about the whole, "smashing his friends car window in order to get back at him" thing but, he simply paid the fine, and it really did not phase him. He could of cared less he would say. There would be numerous times where the kitchen would be full of beer bottles, food and mess, that he made with his friends, that I refused to clean up because that is his mess. Magots started to grow on the food he would leave out. To where me and Adrianna eventually I would have to clean it.One time I caught him in my room going through my drawer in my room where my undergarmets were at. I could not believe it, he tried to lie and say he thought he smelt fire in my room. After that insident I installed a door knob lock in my room and Adrianna's room.Another time Adrianna caught him crawling on the floor at night with the lights off, when she was going to get a snack. And Addrianna hates the fact that he always walks around the house in his boxers, sometimes it falls out if you know what I mean, we've told him time and time again to put pants, he sometimes does, but other times he just refuses too.I tried to have another talk with him and told him why he was doing all of this, and he said it was because of the "voices, tell him to do it, and that he hears the earth cry" and then would ask me for "forgiveness". Once I forgave him he stopped with his bad doings, and he started to act odd again within a month. It's like he tried to be good for a while and then just acts insane, almost like spurts of emotion. No matter what he refuses to take his medications.He started to do bad things, and started to hang out with the wrong crowd after he stopped taking his medications. He would also talk about suicide.I've really had it, he stalks me, he toys with my head by telling me one thing but does another, he wants me to feel sorry for him by telling me he will kill himself, I seriously don't know why he stopped taking his medication. I don't know what to do, I WANT to move out, me and adrianna do, but the lease, is what keeps us here, also in order for me and addriana to leave, we would have to find him replacement people for the house, and HE has to sign the approval, meaning if he does not want us to leave, he will not sign for me to leave. I can only leave until the contract ends.I seriously, fear for my life, and I fear him, I am sure adrianna does too, but what can we do, I KNOW he will not sign the lease, to let us go. Nor will he want replacement people. I have to wait until a year is over. Thats a long time.What can I do? Any suggestions? Any way I can improve my suituation?