Cody

Thanks every one for your support...I now have a house of my own and started a new job... the times are still hard but they are alot better....Though i still have not talked to my mom sence she kicked me out but hey, im doing just fine now...O and sorry i was not one in a long time, no house = no computer lol....

i dont mean to sound the way i do its just hard sometimes... like today i was paying some stuff for my mom and after i was done not even an houre she kicked me out... im now in this rental place... my X has left me alone but its trying to get a restraining order agenst me saying i beat her when i have not seen her in 3 or 4 days.... i just dont know what to do at this point.. i mean my job pays well so that a help and a lot of friends have seen the way i am feeling and they try to help.. but all the time they try it just makes thing harder and harder..

yes the bible has good morals to live by, but just the same i do think what i think.. I know there is something out there after we die, its just i dont think its what every one says it will be.. i mean to one person something bad could be good and something good could be bad but thats just it. the bible just says doing something aginst the acts of god or what is a sin, but only if it was not in the name of god. so what is it really saying?. that its ok to kill as long as its for god or in his fath? thats its ok to steal only if it was rightfully your or if it was something that belonged to the fath?.. i get what you all are saying and i can side with some of it... its just that we all have our good and our bad, but whats to say that we all have to live by the same good and the same bad? whats to say that if you dont thing theres anything after death that your going to some dark place?.. i know it is a way for people to get out of hard times and strive in the fath that they can do it, but the way we teach our children in modern time is that they have to think they can and nothing any one says or dose can stop you. so why is it that people would come up to you, me, them, any one and complain in there fath that this what he/she has done is rong. that it is unjust?.. what is it that in there faith gives them the right?.... i know i sound so athiest/pagan.... but its something i think... something i know many people could see in our world today.... thats all... i mean i know that there are things in the bible that are true... for the arck, with was discoverd in muslim land.. and the camandments.. but dose that really mean that it was from the one every ones says it was from? when you pray and pray for somthing so bad that it comes true.. is it really a god that makes it happen or is it just us that in or subconchens that we make our self beleav it so it came true in the fact we did something about it?....

it's a thing that every one has to deal with.. i mean not every one can stay out of your way and make it a good place.. it's something you just make due with. it seems like hell at times with all the people but still.. you never know you might someday make a friend or two with the people the bore, truble, and anoy you..... it's a weard and sad place we live in at times.. but still.... it's what you do now that yo will reflect on later and wish you had done it the other way around, just to see if it was worth it... it might not seem that way.. but it will in time.....

well i think after reading what everyone had to say, i am going to just let it be and not do anything... i'm not abou to do something i will regreat so... i'll just start looking all over again.........

yah i think your right, i should of use spell check. Thanks though.. im not a big fan of big words if thats not what i have pop into my head.. but i do use them once and a wile... its just not to much of my thing...

What do yuo do when your stuck between two people?.. two people you love all to much and know it would brake your heart to see them cry and it would brake their heart to see you with any one but them.. im lost and help less at this moment.. Pleas help me...

i like them.. i write poems my self.. so i should know what im talking about.. i really like it.. you should keep it up.

Ok i know i did not spell a lot of words right but still.. tell me what you think of them.. it took a lot of time to make just the 3 not to menchon all the 20 others i have... #1. To day, I went awway, fair fair away, my mined could only say, come back dont go away, no not to day, people need you to stay, so now i stay, just for today, and then i will cumence my self, to the death that i misses, because of my self. #2. As i sit in this lonly box, with no air, no holes, and no light, i wait for you, to unclock my way out, out of this lonly dark hole, to take me home, home in your arms, the home i long for, the home i long for, that sweet serenity, o my one true home, can i lay with you, can i sleep with you, make me safe, dont let them in, dont let them take me from you, take me now, here in your arms, here where lie, where you lie, so sweet, so so sweet, pleas save me, save me, save me here, now, for you, i shall wait, and wait i shall. #3. Burning, yerning, burning, turning, my pain makes me weak, my love i cant seek, this torment, sarowsome torment, can i be, can i breath, will this end, but to what end, will i ever be happy, will some one fined me, save me, pleas save me, bring me out of this dark, into your heart, i shall wait, and wait i shall, wait, i, shall... so how were they?....

yes thats really true.. you do.. and you get a lot of them.. even for only 4 years of it.. i man when it comes to college its a hole new ball game.. you get twice as much and they are twice ad hard or so... but high school can be one of the best parts of your life.. better than college at times.. its where you meet people that you will stick with for the rest of your life most of the time..

you have a point.. but im not pagan... im just one who has read a lot of this stuff and com to the conclusion on it..

it really sound like you are not having any fun at all.... But you do need to learn the so called stuff so that you can get in the stuff you want.. i mean you need to work with numbers and need good spelling and all and even know some stuff in your history class.. its what you will need beleav it or not...

what type of profetion do you want..?

my old high school was one of the top schools in the distrect. I had lots, i mean lots of H/w and books.. i wish i could of had that type of school when i was in there... then again there was a type of school about 2 miles down that was that way, but it was for people that where really bad or had got pregnant.... so yah...

I had gone to Cabrillo High School in Lompoc Ca and UCSB after that..... but i droped out of UCSB and im going back soon i hope..

In the CA ( i dont know if they have it in to many other places) you can go to your counsiler can talk to them about geting out of High school, but still geting a diploma. that means you will take some JR classes your soph year and then your JR year you will take some of your sen calsses.. it sounds like a lot of work, and it is but it is better that you would do that if you dont want to stay in High School all 4 years. Pluse you get a diploma and not a GED...

I thought high school was fun. i did think about doing that but never went through with it.. Even so, now that i look back i see its a really good thing that i did not.. even thought i was only in high school for 3 years because i graduted as a Jr, but i stuck it out so that i could get a diploma and not a GED. only beacuse you have to work harder as a GED grad then a diploma one.

Ok as you all know, this is as said in the our many religons holly books that there is a heven and hell (or a good and bad place) and a supream god or so. See i dont want to start a battle or war and upset anyone but i thought that people could just take it in and if they dont like it, then they dont worry about it. you can say what you will but here is what i got to say: Ok, I have read many, many, many, MANY! books of the religons and they all have stuff that is not the same. yet only 5 of the 20 versions of the bibble states that Lucifer is the one God of evil and will lead to our damnation, yet he is miss protraded. yes, hes the god of the dark but who is to say that the one true person that had the real and origanal babble did not feel so impowerd to be trusted with such power that he changed no, AOULTRED it?. i dought any one has though of this.. i could cair less if you like this one religon that you'v been with for so long and that has saved your life pray say, but i thought i would let the many, many people know of things that they never will know... UNLESS...... they do what i have. now yes.. there was a god called God by the people of this earth.. but his true name is "Godalen" he took the name of God because its in his true name.. now i know this sounds like a SI-FI movie or something but its compleatly true. yes god did have some of his people and did help bild the ark when the god of air and water killed every one... (yes this sounds roman) i have more to say.. and to go more in depth with this but.. i know i will start a war on here if i have not already..... so i will leav you with that to think on.... (Try it... and see if you fined what i did.. read.. it will not kill you)

I would have to say World Of warCraft.. i mean i dont much like the other.. but its ok... i got WOW.. so thats why i say that....

well now i did not say i was going to take drugs... I mean.. i have somany frineds that do.. i look at them and i just think its stuped... i would never want to do that.. i mean i am not a teen anymore.. but still... i feel like im back in highschool.. with all that drama

Man, life is not my best friend that this moment and time right now. For the past 3 months i have been having computer problems. i'v looked at it and a tech looked at it and nothing was rong with it but as soon as i found something they missed and fixed it, my friends and family have been buging me non-stop. All i hear is, "Do this and do that" and"Well he said this and she said that..." I mean come on i know i say im there when people need to talk but lately they have gone off the edg. They get mad at me for nothing and say i have distroied their lives. See the think is i have not said anything to them for them to do that nor-done any thing. Now when i hit the family problem it gets me even more upset. I'll go out and hang with some friends like 2 or 3 times a week and when i come home they yell at me saying, "Your never home all you do is hang out with your friends. Why can you be more like a family member then a stranger!" but see.. i dont go out with my frineds to much.. 3 days out of a 7 day week.. come on now... i need to get my space. i mean there is only so much one can take tell they explode/cant take any more... On top of that i got my grandparents of all people thinking my some sort or drugy and sex adict. What do they think i am, the spown of Lucifer!?!?!?!?!? Pluse i got my EX-girlefirend trying to do all she can to get me back and make all the other girls i may or my not like (even friends) flee... See i broke up with her in the first place because i did not like the fact i was being cheated on and being used for some what of a intament/money relationship so i told her that and broke if off... Now that i look at this i think i have more problems than i thought. So thats just a bit of what i want to say, i got more but its way to personal for me to tell you all at this moment and time. some times i think of killing my self but you know what, thats just a way for all the people that want a easy way out.. im in for the full ride and man is it a long one .... (God i need a new life or maybe a restart on one) P.s. Sorry if i sound like im on a sempathy trip....