Cody

Thanks every one for your support...I now have a house of my own and started a new job... the times are still hard but they are alot better....Though i still have not talked to my mom sence she kicked me out but hey, im doing just fine now...O and sorry i was not one in a long time, no house = no computer lol....

i dont mean to sound the way i do its just hard sometimes... like today i was paying some stuff for my mom and after i was done not even an houre she kicked me out... im now in this rental place... my X has left me alone but its trying to get a restraining order agenst me saying i beat her when i have not seen her in 3 or 4 days.... i just dont know what to do at this point.. i mean my job pays well so that a help and a lot of friends have seen the way i am feeling and they try to help.. but all the time they try it just makes thing harder and harder..

yes the bible has good morals to live by, but just the same i do think what i think.. I know there is something out there after we die, its just i dont think its what every one says it will be.. i mean to one person something bad could be good and something good could be bad but thats just it. the bible just says doing something aginst the acts of god or what is a sin, but only if it was not in the name of god. so what is it really saying?. that its ok to kill as long as its for god or in his fath? thats its ok to steal only if it was rightfully your or if it was something that belonged to the fath?.. i get what you all are saying and i can side with some of it... its just that we all have our good and our bad, but whats to say that we all have to live by the same good and the same bad? whats to say that if you dont thing theres anything after death that your going to some dark place?.. i know it is a way for people to get out of hard times and strive in the fath that they can do it, but the way we teach our children in modern time is that they have to think they can and nothing any one says or dose can stop you. so why is it that people would come up to you, me, them, any one and complain in there fath that this what he/she has done is rong. that it is unjust?.. what is it that in there faith gives them the right?.... i know i sound so athiest/pagan.... but its something i think... something i know many people could see in our world today.... thats all... i mean i know that there are things in the bible that are true... for the arck, with was discoverd in muslim land.. and the camandments.. but dose that really mean that it was from the one every ones says it was from? when you pray and pray for somthing so bad that it comes true.. is it really a god that makes it happen or is it just us that in or subconchens that we make our self beleav it so it came true in the fact we did something about it?....

it's a thing that every one has to deal with.. i mean not every one can stay out of your way and make it a good place.. it's something you just make due with. it seems like hell at times with all the people but still.. you never know you might someday make a friend or two with the people the bore, truble, and anoy you..... it's a weard and sad place we live in at times.. but still.... it's what you do now that yo will reflect on later and wish you had done it the other way around, just to see if it was worth it... it might not seem that way.. but it will in time.....

well i think after reading what everyone had to say, i am going to just let it be and not do anything... i'm not abou to do something i will regreat so... i'll just start looking all over again.........

yah i think your right, i should of use spell check. Thanks though.. im not a big fan of big words if thats not what i have pop into my head.. but i do use them once and a wile... its just not to much of my thing...

What do yuo do when your stuck between two people?.. two people you love all to much and know it would brake your heart to see them cry and it would brake their heart to see you with any one but them.. im lost and help less at this moment.. Pleas help me...

i like them.. i write poems my self.. so i should know what im talking about.. i really like it.. you should keep it up.

Ok i know i did not spell a lot of words right but still.. tell me what you think of them.. it took a lot of time to make just the 3 not to menchon all the 20 others i have... #1. To day, I went awway, fair fair away, my mined could only say, come back dont go away, no not to day, people need you to stay, so now i stay, just for today, and then i will cumence my self, to the death that i misses, because of my self. #2. As i sit in this lonly box, with no air, no holes, and no light, i wait for you, to unclock my way out, out of this lonly dark hole, to take me home, home in your arms, the home i long for, the home i long for, that sweet serenity, o my one true home, can i lay with you, can i sleep with you, make me safe, dont let them in, dont let them take me from you, take me now, here in your arms, here where lie, where you lie, so sweet, so so sweet, pleas save me, save me, save me here, now, for you, i shall wait, and wait i shall. #3. Burning, yerning, burning, turning, my pain makes me weak, my love i cant seek, this torment, sarowsome torment, can i be, can i breath, will this end, but to what end, will i ever be happy, will some one fined me, save me, pleas save me, bring me out of this dark, into your heart, i shall wait, and wait i shall, wait, i, shall... so how were they?....

yes thats really true.. you do.. and you get a lot of them.. even for only 4 years of it.. i man when it comes to college its a hole new ball game.. you get twice as much and they are twice ad hard or so... but high school can be one of the best parts of your life.. better than college at times.. its where you meet people that you will stick with for the rest of your life most of the time..

you have a point.. but im not pagan... im just one who has read a lot of this stuff and com to the conclusion on it..

it really sound like you are not having any fun at all.... But you do need to learn the so called stuff so that you can get in the stuff you want.. i mean you need to work with numbers and need good spelling and all and even know some stuff in your history class.. its what you will need beleav it or not...

what type of profetion do you want..?

my old high school was one of the top schools in the distrect. I had lots, i mean lots of H/w and books.. i wish i could of had that type of school when i was in there... then again there was a type of school about 2 miles down that was that way, but it was for people that where really bad or had got pregnant.... so yah...

I had gone to Cabrillo High School in Lompoc Ca and UCSB after that..... but i droped out of UCSB and im going back soon i hope..