sunilr_74

Hi,I thot our forum ought to have an entry to address this topic. If you dont know how to make your jsp files run on this server, just reply back and I will answerBye,Sunil

Hi all,I am trying to get apache to pick up my JSP files, but I am not sure how to go about it.Could anyone please help me outThanks,Sunil

Hi,I am new to apache. How can I ask it to handle my JSP code?? Is this even possible in Xisto?any help wud be appreciatedThanks,Sunil

Hi Admins,Could you please reset my password and/or have it mailed to me? My login to cpanel is not happenningI dont know how I am logged on to this forum, however. It's my good luck I guess (bless the bug)My site: citimovies.trap17.com

Star Wars 10. "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"9. "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"8. "Put that thing away before you get us all killed."7. "You've got something jammed in here real good."6. "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"5. "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."4. "Sorry about the mess..."3. "Look at the size of that thing!"2. "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"1. "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid."The Empire Strikes Back 10. "I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me."9. "Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?"8. "There's an awful lot of moisture in here."7. "But now we must eat. Cum, good food, cumm..."6. "That's okay, I'd like to keep it on manual control for a while."5. "Hurry up, golden-rod..."4. "I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh kid?"3. "Possible he came in through the south entrance."2. "And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!"1. "Control, control! You must learn control!"Return of the Jedi 10. "Hey, point that thing someplace else."9. "I look forward to completing your training. In time you will call me master."8. "I never knew I had it in me."7. "There is good in him, I've felt it."6. "Grab me, Chewie. I'm slipping -- hold on. Grab it, almost... you almost got it. Gently now, all right, easy, easy, hold me Chewie."5. "Hey, Luke, thanks for coming after me -- now I owe you one."4. "Back door, huh? Good idea!"3. "She's gonna blow!"2. "I think you'll fit in nicely."1. "Rise, my friend."But of course, one of the best is - "Wedge! Pull out! You're not doing any good back there!"

An elderly couple were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, so they decided to return to the little town where they first met. They sat in a small coffee shop in the town and were telling the waitress about their love for each other and how they met at this same spot. Sitting next to them was the local cop and he smiled as the old couple spoke. After the waitress left the table, the old man said to his wife: "Remember the first time we made love, it was up in that field across the road, when I put you against the fence. Why don't we do it again for old times sake?" The wife giggled like crazy and said, "Sure, why not." So off they went out the door and across to the field. The cop smiled to himself, thinking how romantic this was and decided he better keep an eye on the couple so they didn't run into any harm. The old couple walked to the field and as they approached the fence they began to undress. The old man picked up his wife when they were naked and leaned her against the fence. The cop was watching from the bushes and was surprised at what he saw. With the vitality of youth, the wife bounced up and down excitedly, while the husband thrashed around like a wild man, then they both fell to the ground in exhaustion. Eventually, they stood up,shook themselves, and got dressed. As they walked back towards the road. The cop stepped from his hiding spot and said, "That is the most wonderful love making I have ever seen. You must have been a wild couple when you were young." "Not really," said the old man, "when we were young, that fence wasn't electric."

A business man is traveling on a plane and has to go to the bathroom really, really badly; but all the men's rooms are in use. The flight attendent tells him to use the woman's bathroom but not to touch any of the buttons. He goes in, sits on the toilet, and curiously looks at the buttons (you know how men are--they just don't listen). The buttons are marked WW, WA, PP, and ATR. He presses the WW button and a blast of Warm Water hits his butt. The man thinks, "That was nice!" and presses WA. Now Warm Air dries his butt. "Oh, that felt evan better!" He then presses the PP button, and a Powder Puff puffs on his butt. The man thinks, "WW, WA, and PP have all been great, so ATR must be even better!" and he presses the button... The next thing he knows, he's in a hospital, and the nurse says, "ATR stands for Automatic Tampon Removal, genius. Your penis is over there on the pillow."

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now we've caught you and we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot, cook you, eat you and then we're going to use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you can choose how to die." The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword." The chief gives him a sword, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and runs himself through. The Englishman says, "a pistol for me please." The chief gives him a pistol, the Englishman points it at his head and says, "God save the queen!" and blows his brains out. The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork!" The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over--the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There is blood gushing out all over, it's horrible. The chief is appalled and asks, "My God, what are you doing?" And the New Yorker responds, "So much for your canoe you stupid cannibal!

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules. "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time." He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?" At this, a male student in the crowd inquires,"How much for a season pass?"

Q: My shift keys have little arrows on them. Does that mean the *real* shift keys are located above them, and these keys are just little signs to point them out? A: Nope, they're the Real McCoy. The little arrows mean "up", as in "look up at the screen". Your keyboard is telling you to learn to touch type and quit staring at your fingers. Q: What happens if I press both shift keys? A: Even bigger letters may show up on your screen. You should not use this feature, however, because these letters are also brighter, and may cause Screen Burn-In, which would be particularly embarrassing if you were typing something naughty at the time. You might consider obtaining the author's Shift Key Burn-In Protector program for only $139.95. Or you might not, it's your computer, but don't say I didn't warn youQ: my religion prohibits the use of shift keys. how can i type capital letters and punctuation A: Discuss alternatives to the shift key with your spiritual advisor. Perhaps your deity would not be angered by repeated use of the Caps Lock key, or maybe you can retain a consultant to depress the shift for you. You might also consider replacing punctuation marks that require the use of shift keys with lower case expressions; replace ? with "huh" and ! with "zowie". Q: I PRESSED SHIFT AND IT"S STUCK DOWN NOW A: Do small children with a fondness for peanut butter use your keyboard frequently? If so, you may want to clean it off for more reliable operation. First, disconnect your keyboard by gripping each of its ends firmly and pulling as hard as you can. Next, immerse the keyboard in warm water and scrub thoroughly with your favorite lemon-scented detergent and lots of steel wool. Finally, you need to dry the keyboard. Either dry it to touch with a handheld blowdryer, or place it it the dryer for not less than 60 minutes. Be sure to clean the lint screen when you are finished. Q:Why are there are no "shift" keys on my keyboard, but there are two keys labelled "hif"? A:Again, you may want to consider cleaning your keyboard, and washing your hands more frequently for that matter. Q:Are there shift keys on my Macintosh? A:Yes, although instead of the notation "shift", the key may be labelled with an excited Mac face, something like . Press this key to use shift, and be thankful you're using a friendly Mac instead of a mean old PC with all them confusin' words 'n stuff on it. Q: No matter what I do, the shift key just doesn't seem to work. What's wrong? A: Have you ever considered that the problem may not be your keyboard, the problem may be YOU? Perhaps God Himself has suspended the operation of these keys to send you a Message that you have strayed from the path of righteousness. Use this as an opportunity to reflect on your life. Before rushing blindly ahead with a lot of shifting, consult the spiritual advisor of your choice for help in dealing with any unresolved issues in your relationship with the Almighty.

One day, a girl, heard from her mother that if she will do a regular prayer for 4 yrs, a divine "Devi" will come to her dreams & give her 3 boons(Varadaan). So she decided to do it. She completed 4 yrs successfully, doing prayer regularly. Now it was a day for "Devi" to come. So she slept earlier with thoughts in her mind to ask. And, really a "Devi" comes in her dreams. Now this is the dialogue between them. Devi: O Girl, you prayed to me regularly within last 4 yrs, so I am very very happy with you. I will complete any of your 3 wishes. You can ask anything you like, but there is one condition. Girl: Condition!, what is that? Devi: You have a boy-friend? Girl: Yes. Devi: When you were doing a prayer, he was waiting for you, so he also sacrificed same as you. Moreover, he didnt know anything about boon and all, so he is also eligible for the boons. So whatever you will ask, he will get 10 times more than that of you. If you are agreed, then proceed for the 1st boon. Girl: (After thinking for some time ... ): Yes, I am ready. Girl: 1st, Make me 10 times richer than the richest person in the world. Devi: But your boy-friend will be 10 times richer than you. Girl: It's OK. Devi: Be as you wish! Girl: 2nd, Make me 10 times more beautiful than the most beautiful girl in the world. Devi: But your boy-friend will be 10 times handsome than the most handsome boy in the world. Girl: It's OK. Devi: Be as you wish. Devi: Now the last boon remains. Girl: O Devi, please give me a MILD HEART-ATTACK. Devi: What? Are you sure! Girl: Yes. Very sure! Devi: Be as you wish. Think friends, what happened to her boy-friend, he got a severe heart-attack & died at once, while the girl remained alive. Thus, the girl became the world's most beautiful girl and the richest one, too. Moral of the story: So intelligent the girls are! Girls are really more intelligent than we believe about them to be. So be careful boys! Now, girls please stop reading ... boys continue till the end..Actual story:Fact is that the boy would get 10 times more than what the girl wished. The girl asked for a MILD heart attack. and guess what? The boy gets a 10 times more mild heart attack. He survives the attack and lives longer and does better in his life.

A MAN ESCAPES FROM PRISON WHERE HE HAS BEEN FOR 15 YEARS. HE BREAKSINTOHOUSE TO LOOK FOR MONEY AND GUNSAND FINDS A YOUNG COUPLE IN BED.HE ORDERS THE GUY OUT OF BED AND TIES HIM TO A CHAIR. WHILE TYING THEGIRLTO THE BED HE GETS ON TOP OFHER, JUST KISSES HER NECK, THEN GETS UP AND GOES INTO THE BATHROOM.WHILE HE'S IN THERE, THE HUSBAND TELLS HIS WIFE: "LISTEN, THIS GUY'S ANESCAPED CONVICT! LOOK AT HISCLOTHES! HE PROBABLY SPENT LOTS OF TIME INJAIL AND HASN'T SEEN A WOMANINYEARS.I SAW HOW HE KISSED YOUR NECK. IF HE WANTS SEX, DON'T RESIST, DON'TCOMPLAIN, DO WHATEVER HE TELLS YOU.SATISFY HIM NO MATTER HOW MUCH HE NAUSEATES YOU. THIS GUY IS PROBABLYVERYDANGEROUS. IF HE GETS ANGRY,HE'LL KILL US. BE STRONG, HONEY. I LOVE YOU!!"TO WHICH THE WIFE RESPONDS: "HE WASN'T KISSING MY NECK. HE WASWHISPERINGIN MYEAR. HE TOLD ME HE IS AGAY, THOUGHT YOU WERE CUTE, AND ASKED IF WE HAD ANY VASELINE. I TOLDHIM IT WAS IN THE BATHROOM. BE STRONG HONEY. I LOVE YOU TOO!!"

Vajpayee (Indian PM) and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman,"Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?" The barman says "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says, "Hello, what are you guys doing?" Bush says, "We're planning world war 3" The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?" And Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman." And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!" Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, "See, I told you no-one would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway. I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans! I was thinking about old age and decided that it is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it'. I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it "Pumping Rust." I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!" Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in case of an emergency.' I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!" Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do -- write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail? I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals. As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve. ---------------------------------------Subscribe to joke-of-the-day.com ;-)

One Bengali is a poet?Two Bengalis is a film society?Three Bengalis is a political party?Four Bengalis is two political parties?____?One Tam-Brahm is a priest at the Vardarajaperumal temple?Two Tam-Brahms is a maths tuition class?Three Tam-Brahms is a queue outside the U.S. consulate at 4 a.m.?Four Tam-Brahms is a Thyagaraja music festival in Santa Clara?___?One Punjabi is a 100 kg hulk named Pinky?Two Punjabis is a Pinky with his brother Twinky?Three Punjabis is an assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local?McDonalds?Four Punjabis is a combined IQ equal to one Tam-Brahm?____?One Bihari is Laloo Prasad Yadav?Two Biharis is a booth-capturing squad?Three Biharis is a caste killing?Four Biharis is the entire literate population of Patna?_____?One Mallu is a coconut stall?Two Mallus is a boat race?Three Mallus is a Gulf job racket?Four Mallus is an oil slick?___?One UP bhaiyya is a milkman?Two UP bhaiyyas is a halwai shop?Three UP bhaiyyas is a fist-fight in the UP assembly?Four UP bhaiyyas is a mosque-destruction squad?______?One Gujju is a share-broker in a Bombay train?Two Gujjus is a rummy game in a Bombay train?Three Gujjus is a Rs. 10-crore sprocket manufacturing business?Four Gujjus is an all-night dandia-raas session?____?One Andhraite is a chilli farmer?Two Andhraites is a software company in New Jersey?Three Andhraites is a Naxalite outfit?Four Andhraites is a song-and-dance number in a Telugu movie?______?One Kashmiri is a carpet salesman?Two Kashmiris is a carpet factory?Three Kashmiris is a terrorist outfit?Four Kashmiris is a shoot-at-sight order?____?One Bombayite is a footpath vada-pau stall?Two Bombayites is a film studio?Three Bombayites is a slum?Four Bombayites is the number of people standing on your foot in the?train at rush hour___?One Sindhi is a currency racket?Two Sindhis is a papad factory?Three Sindhis is a duplicate goods shop?Four Sindhis is the Hong Kong Retail Traders Association?_____?One U.S. Desi is a software guy?Two U.S. Desis is a lunch group at work?Three U.S. Desis is a *BLEEP*ing session about the U.S.?Four U.S. Desis is four software guys, heating tamarind rice in the?office microwave, cooked that morning, in their shared one bedroomapartment,?and *BLEEP*ing about life in the U.S.________?One Tamilian is a Tamilian.?Two Tamilians is Dravidans.?Three Tamilians is supporters of Karunanidhi.?Four Tamilians is electors of Jayalalitha.