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Relationship Labels N Stuff Why are we so obsessed with giving it a name?

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novoAlias

If I'm honest, I'm not a romantic type by nature. I either like someone or I don't and the process of falling into orbit with another human being of opposite gender is something I am still getting the hang of. However, quite a few of my closest friends have been living the ups and downs for many years and I have noticed something that doesn't quite seem right.There are as many different kinds of relationships as there are people to have them. No two people will ever treat each other quite the same way, and relationships evolve from moment to moment, let alone day by day! So why is it then that we have 'first base', 'dating', 'lovers' and all the other terms we use to put the people around us into neat little mental boxes. Have you ever felt embarassed when someone says you are dating so and so and you want to say 'it's not like that...' but you know there is no point? It's all wrapped up in cultural norms aswell, so you slept with Julie at the party on friday night? Well you'd better call her and find out if it meant something or wether that last tequila sunrise was all there was and ever will be between you...Then it gets complicated, I'm going to tell you a story which may only be slightly related to the above.I have a friend, lets call him X. He recently got out of a relationship where he was effectively chained into orbit using a combination of love and vicious mind games. I decided to show him the night life he hasn't seen in the last couple of years, and in the process meet some people that weren't so likely to go crazy over a single txt from an unknown number. Now there are a few girls he's liked for _years_, and while I consider myself a good wingman, I find places just that much boring when you know no-one and the guy you are with is trying to play find the sausage with clothes on. I've put up with this since I'm pretty good at hanging out with more or less anyone, but hey a brother gets bored after a while. Also X seems to have a habit in mixed company interaction of subtly undermining people. I'm probably just going to give him a codeword that means 'change tack' because I don't think he realises what he is doing. Anyway my question is what happens if we are at a party and -two- of these girls happen to be there? They are not really long term friends of mine but I get on with them well and they are pretty cool. If X makes a decision I figure I can just relax and be myself, what would you do? I'm actually tempted to say forget it, but I think a better thing to do would be to set some ground rules so there are no arguments.


moogie

If I understand correctly, you think you need to wait for your friend to make a decision about which girl he's going to be with at a party so you know it's ok to be with the other? Setting ground rules? Sounds like you already have. You decided to wait until he makes a choice.If there's nothing special between your friend and any particular girl, and he's available again, then there's nothing to stop you. You may be trying to help him by showing him some sights but why not enjoy yourself too rather than sitting back and waiting to see what he's going to do?


novoAlias

but why not enjoy yourself too rather than sitting back and waiting to see what he's going to do?

I think you might have a very good point there!

As they say, alcohol was involved.... Therefore it was not my fault! :D