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qwertykins

'ello.I'm not exactly sure how serious the advice is on this website. I'm a moderator on another site dealing with issues such as this, but the regulars there are known for their 'colorful' responses and ADD. Regardless of my skeptisim, I'm desperate.I was with my boyfriend for 2 years. We met online (I know, I know) and eventually decided to move in together. Our relationship was incredible on so many levels, and we not only decided to get married, but have a child.Our daughter was born at the end of July. It was a tough adjustment, neither of us had any clue how to be parents, but we figured it out together.We dealt with the usual struggles of young family life, of course. We scraped by, lived paycheck to paycheck, wondered how we were going to pay our monthly bills. Always, though, we kept the other one going. In fact, we only fought twice in our two years together.One of those occured on December 12th. We got into an argument which was related to finances. I thought that we had worked it out, but the next thing I knew, he said he was going out and never came back.I've been in relationships before, but this one was different. I never wanted to get married, let alone have a child, but he has always been the exception.Ever since he left, he has treated me and his daughter like we're thorns in his side. When he actually talks to me, which is rare, he's a completely different person. He lies, makes excuses, and comes across as heartless. He has sent me a little money for our daughter, but nowhere near enough to get her what she needs. I have a pending child support order, but his mom (of all people) is trying to make me feel guilty for doing it.To this day, I have no concrete idea as to why he left. He acts like I did the worst thing in the world to him, but in all honestly, I can't figure out what that could have been. I was completely dependant on him, and now I'm a single mom with no idea where to go from here.As cynical as I am, I honestly never expected any of this to happen. I was hoping there was someone out there that could relate. =/


Echo_of_thunder

wow wow wow. After reading this I am totally without words. not knowing your or his age it is a tough call however. both of you sound young however. but what get's me most what how you said his mother acted. that to me sends up a red flag as a momma's boy. My advice is to get yourself a good lawyer and sue the you know what off his lazy Beep. Also of meeting from the net? Can't lie to ya. been there done that. dangerous as it is. people will do that and well it works sometimes, but most it makes problems like yours. But who I really worry of is your daughter. I do hope the father, being and forgive me. the scumbag he sounds like will realize he had something to do with her comming into this world and being that is his daugher as well as yours. will take the time to help with her. Once you get that lawyer onto him. I bet he will grow up real fast and realize what he has done. Men can be so stupid I know I am one. good luck and I will say a prayer for you and your daughter


qwertykins

wow wow wow. After reading this I am totally without words. not knowing your or his age it is a tough call however. both of you sound young however. but what get's me most what how you said his mother acted. that to me sends up a red flag as a momma's boy. My advice is to get yourself a good lawyer and sue the you know what off his lazy Beep. Also of meeting from the net? Can't lie to ya. been there done that. dangerous as it is. people will do that and well it works sometimes, but most it makes problems like yours. But who I really worry of is your daughter. I do hope the father, being and forgive me. the scumbag he sounds like will realize he had something to do with her comming into this world and being that is his daugher as well as yours. will take the time to help with her. Once you get that lawyer onto him. I bet he will grow up real fast and realize what he has done. Men can be so stupid I know I am one.

good luck and I will say a prayer for you and your daughter


The prayer is greatly appreciated. We can use all the help we can get. >.<

In terms of our ages, your assumption was correct. All things considered, we're quite young. I'm 24, he's 25.

Regarding his mother, you couldn't be more right. He is the definition of a momma's boy, though in his defense, it's somewhat justifiable. His father abandoned him when he was young, and his mom raised her two kids without help. (Sound familiar?) That being said, her actions aren't so excusable, seeing as how she has lived in my shoes and understands how strenuous it is to be in this position. This is also her first grandchild, and the only completely innocent party in this mess. Those facts alone should make her want to protect that little girl by any means necessary.

Her son wanted this. He's the one that abandoned his family during the holidays. He knew the financial consequences of his actions. Both of them need to accept that.

And I've always been hesitant to meet people off of the internet, but I think the majority of us are guilty of it at one point or another. ;/

Men just need to take a mandatory class in common sense. No offense, of course.

princeofvegas

The prayer is greatly appreciated. We can use all the help we can get. >.<
In terms of our ages, your assumption was correct. All things considered, we're quite young. I'm 24, he's 25.

Regarding his mother, you couldn't be more right. He is the definition of a momma's boy, though in his defense, it's somewhat justifiable. His father abandoned him when he was young, and his mom raised her two kids without help. (Sound familiar?) That being said, her actions aren't so excusable, seeing as how she has lived in my shoes and understands how strenuous it is to be in this position. This is also her first grandchild, and the only completely innocent party in this mess. Those facts alone should make her want to protect that little girl by any means necessary.

Her son wanted this. He's the one that abandoned his family during the holidays. He knew the financial consequences of his actions. Both of them need to accept that.

And I've always been hesitant to meet people off of the internet, but I think the majority of us are guilty of it at one point or another. ;/

Men just need to take a mandatory class in common sense. No offense, of course.


I can speak on this issue being from the other side of the table. My wife and I were married for almost 5 years and we had a lot of fights mainly stemming from our finances. We have 2 kids together, whom I love very much. But I decided it was time we separated as we were growing apart. When I told her this she took off to California with the kids, whereas I am living in Nevada and my financial and job situation has me unable to move as of right now.

I make every effort to see my kids, even if it is once every month or 2 and I put a call in to them every night but she is always saying the same things about me that you are saying about him. I send them money when I can, even if it isnt enough to fully support them, I mean right now she is living rent free with her grandparents and refuses to work. I basically do everything I can for my kids in the situation that I am in.

Just make sure that he is not in the same position that I am in before you start crucifying him. If he is in the wrong then anything he gets is what he deserves. Some guys are just not man enough to be a father and run the first opportunity they see. If that is really the case then go after him with everything you have. Most states even have divorce attorneys that will work on behalf of single parents for free. Look into programs like that.

Echo_of_thunder

The prayer is greatly appreciated. We can use all the help we can get. >.<
In terms of our ages, your assumption was correct. All things considered, we're quite young. I'm 24, he's 25.

Regarding his mother, you couldn't be more right. He is the definition of a momma's boy, though in his defense, it's somewhat justifiable. His father abandoned him when he was young, and his mom raised her two kids without help. (Sound familiar?) That being said, her actions aren't so excusable, seeing as how she has lived in my shoes and understands how strenuous it is to be in this position. This is also her first grandchild, and the only completely innocent party in this mess. Those facts alone should make her want to protect that little girl by any means necessary.

Her son wanted this. He's the one that abandoned his family during the holidays. He knew the financial consequences of his actions. Both of them need to accept that.

And I've always been hesitant to meet people off of the internet, but I think the majority of us are guilty of it at one point or another. ;/

Men just need to take a mandatory class in common sense. No offense, of course.


Honestly older than I thought. and as someone who's father also split and left my mother to raise a handicapped son and also a teenage daughter. I understand now. But at the age of 25 well Does these words come to mind. Adult and Grow up?

Ash-Bash

wow wow wow. After reading this I am totally without words. not knowing your or his age it is a tough call however. both of you sound young however. but what get's me most what how you said his mother acted. that to me sends up a red flag as a momma's boy. My advice is to get yourself a good lawyer and sue the you know what off his lazy Beep. Also of meeting from the net? Can't lie to ya. been there done that. dangerous as it is. people will do that and well it works sometimes, but most it makes problems like yours. But who I really worry of is your daughter. I do hope the father, being and forgive me. the scumbag he sounds like will realize he had something to do with her comming into this world and being that is his daugher as well as yours. will take the time to help with her. Once you get that lawyer onto him. I bet he will grow up real fast and realize what he has done. Men can be so stupid I know I am one.

good luck and I will say a prayer for you and your daughter


Echo just took the words out of my keyboard. (Evil person :D)

But dude don't be a mod on a forum if you don't know what you are doing because new members look up too mods and admin's to see how they should behave and act on a forum, Most-likely you only do 1 liners on the forum....